lovingguy21 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I've been dating this guy for about 1 year and a month now. About 6 months into our relationship he told me that he can't promise me anything due to him probably relocating 4 years from now. So im wondering if i should just end this relationship now? Or is it to premature to even worry about right now? I don't know why i have anxiety about something like this right now, when in 4 years alot of things can change, Plus a long time from now. If we are still together those 4 years im sure he would consider taking me with him. So what should i do? Stay? or break it off?
counterman Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 He's right - he can't promise anything and you cannot too. Four years is a long time and anything can happen. As your relationship goes on, you'll find your answer whether you should break it off or not. When it comes closer to that time he is going relocate, and you're still together, ask him again and see how he answers. If he really loves you, he'll want a future together with you right? Just try to put it out of your mind and enjoy the moments now that you have with him. Don't fret about what might happen 4 years later.
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Avoid people who give you a reason they can't commit that is 4 years in the future, he's just telling you he is commitmentphobic. Yes, I'd be gone.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I've been dating this guy for about 1 year and a month now. About 6 months into our relationship he told me that he can't promise me anything due to him probably relocating 4 years from now. So im wondering if i should just end this relationship now? Or is it to premature to even worry about right now? I don't know why i have anxiety about something like this right now, when in 4 years alot of things can change, Plus a long time from now. If we are still together those 4 years im sure he would consider taking me with him. So what should i do? Stay? or break it off? He can't promise you anything in terms of what? a commitment? marriage? Yes 4 years is a long time and a lot can change but it doesn't sound like he is looking at it that way. If he was he wouldn't say "I can't promise you anything." How can he be so certain he can't? It sounds like he has already made up his mind and nothing in the 4 years is going to change it. It almost sounds like he plans for the relationship to be over when its time to relocate. You need to ask for clarification. It's been about 7 months since he said that and if he still feels the same way, I'd be very concerned that he will always feel that way. If you are "sure" he would consider taking you with him, why would you want to break it off?
Author lovingguy21 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 He can't promise you anything in terms of what? a commitment? marriage? Yes 4 years is a long time and a lot can change but it doesn't sound like he is looking at it that way. If he was he wouldn't say "I can't promise you anything." How can he be so certain he can't? It sounds like he has already made up his mind and nothing in the 4 years is going to change it. It almost sounds like he plans for the relationship to be over when its time to relocate. You need to ask for clarification. It's been about 7 months since he said that and if he still feels the same way, I'd be very concerned that he will always feel that way. If you are "sure" he would consider taking you with him, why would you want to break it off? A commitment...I agree with you a 100%. It seemed that way to me like he is already writing it off, but just in a nicer way. When he told me this 6 months into the relationship, i was wondering to myself did he tell me this hoping that i would just go away? Was that a way for him to try and break up with me? It sounds to me what you said... "has already made up his mind and nothing in the 4 years is going to change it." He did say he would take me with him, but as of right now, i can't really take that to serious because of the simple fact we have to make it these 4 years 1st. I mean this guy really loves me without a doubt but my question is that is he gonna just up and leave if we have progressed in our relationship and we are still together within those 4 years? Or is he gonna try and relocate somewhere else where he know i can go, just to be with me?
torranceshipman Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I've been dating this guy for about 1 year and a month now. About 6 months into our relationship he told me that he can't promise me anything due to him probably relocating 4 years from now. So im wondering if i should just end this relationship now? Or is it to premature to even worry about right now? I don't know why i have anxiety about something like this right now, when in 4 years alot of things can change, Plus a long time from now. If we are still together those 4 years im sure he would consider taking me with him. So what should i do? Stay? or break it off? That is a really weak reason for him not to commit, and obviously an excuse. Who knows why he doesn't want to commit, but if he is not into you that much, why stay? You need to move on. He obviously isnt man enough to tell you the honest truth.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I mean this guy really loves me without a doubt If he really loves you without a doubt, how could he not take you with him? how could he not include you in where he will relocate? If the L word has been spoken, he shouldn't mind discussing the future with you. I think you need to have a heart-to-heart and soon. I hope you get the answers you want.
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