Girlfriend cheated on me then says she wants me back. Is she playing headgames?

[Meir]

Well I've been involved in a long distance relationship for a while now and to sum it up, I don't really know what is going on with it.

Basically I met a girl back in July and it was a long distance relationship, during the time I was supposed to see her, I was in the hospital

and she was involved with another guy whom she claimed she didn't do anything with and started calling me her friend. After September we

started talking again and she started saying she loved me and asking when I was coming out to see her.

 

I flew out to Chicago at the end of October and stayed in Chicago for 4 weeks and everything seemed fine the first week or 2. The first thing

she wanted to do was make love and we did, she could never stay long at the hotel though, she would stay for 3 hours and leave, she could

never spend the night. I found out she was legally married and she would always insult her husband saying he's a no good cheating bastard

and that she didn't love him and was trying to get a divorce.

 

After 2 weeks, this person whom she had been seeing while I was in the hospital was released from jail and she started texting him and talking

to him again and things seemed different the 2nd and 3rd week. By the 3rd week she was saying "when you go back to Florida can we just be friends again?" "It will hurt less for me to think of you as a friend" and I decided to stay a 4th week which she came over and stayed. The day I had to leave, she couldn't come to the hotel and I decided to go to Indiana to stay with her friends and we ended up renting a place out there.

 

She was upset I had left Chicago but was happy I was close by as I could get there within an hour.

 

My first week there, her friends started telling me stuff about this "close friend of hers" she was having a relationship with and she had

lied to me while telling her friends something different online. I told her I wasn't coming back online and she called me frantically saying

she loved me and begging her friends to tell me to talk to me and kept denying she did anything with this other guy.

 

I finally caved in and started talking to her, her own friends kept trying to convince me that she was using me and wouldn't leave her husband

and involved with another guy.

 

I asked her about it and she said "he's just a good friend he'll even meet you!", around that period she was claiming she might be pregnant

and her stomach did appear bigger and she was saying "you might be a daddy!", when her friends saw her belly on the webcam they said

"There's no way shes a month pregnant, I can guarantee you that is not your child if she is pregnant."

 

I ended up seeing her after 2 weeks and we met in Chicago and saw each other for about an hour before we had to go back, she kissed me and said

she loved me.

 

By 3rd week I had my own place and she was upset and crying about her husband cheating on her or something and I said "why do you care, you said you don't love him anymore and that you were going to get a divorce" and then she said "you told me I could talk about anything to you!" and I

said "i'm sick of hearing about him." I finally caved in to that and she kept saying because he was the father of her child, she would always

love him yet would tell me she hated him and wanted him out of her life and he abused her and he never wanted him to be able to find another

girl again.

 

by 4th week I was getting tired of what was going on and told her to come out to Indiana and she was making excuses why she wouldn't move

out there like "I don't want my kid to lose her friends" or "I don't know if I want to live out there, your roommates (her friends) fight

all the time" or "I wanted our own place privately, I'm tired of living with other people", we finally got her to come out there and she made

it clear (though she denies it) that she would stay for at least 3 days and look for a job there. We picked her up and she brought her kid with

and told her husband she was going to see friends. After only a day there she said that she was leaving tomorrow after I told her my roommate

had work and we wouldn't be able to drop her off that day several times on the phone. I walked out angry and she followed me outside and I said

"why do I bother wasting my time and money coming out there to get you if your only going to stay one day and go back to the crap at home?"

and she kept saying "i'm a waste of your time huh?" and she had a weird look on her face. Her friend came out and they started saying "i'm

starting to hate men" and when I got back to the house I laid in my bed, she was going to sleep in the living room and said "you know what

you hurt my feelings, I wanted to make love to you, I've given you so many chances and i'm done, it's over!" she started handing me back my

stuff and said "for your information, I didn't use you, here" and I wouldn't let her give it to me. I told her "you know what, i'm leaving" and

she got on top of me and said "leaving? where are you gonna go" and she kept grabbing me and held me down saying "go ahead, try and leave"

and she started acting flirty with me then asked me if I wanted to have a drink with her.

 

I drank a lot of hard liquor and she only had one glass.

She slept in the same bedroom as me and we made love and she kept saying "this is to make up" and she said "I love you", by morning, she was on her computer and texting on her cell phone (she frequently texted even at my hotel room) and looked up at me and said "you know what, you hurt my feelings, I think we should just be friends" and she said "you need councelling or help, then maybe we can continue the relationship after you get help" she then said "I don't regret last night at all". Even before she left she tried to have sex with me and then said "do you think it's wrong to make love as friends?" I said "I don't feel comfortable".

She ended up leaving that day and got into a huge fight with her friends brother whom was my roommate and it got ugly fast, we dropped her

off at home and she messaged me saying she loved me and missed me. Then when I asked her how she loves me, romantically or as a friend

she said "both but we're just friends right now". During this time, our relationship was up and down, she started saying "oh I don't think i'm

pregnant, I think it's just stress" and asked me to order her something called cohosh which is used to induce a miscarriage and I didn't know

what it was at the time.

 

During that period, she let me log into her husbands myspace and I found a message from her from earlier in the month when we were still going

out where she basically told him that she loved him and that she wanted to be with him forever and that she was his wife, etc. I confronted her

and she denied ever writing it. She got nervous and started calling me "babe" again and saying she loved me, after 2 days, that dissapeared

and then she told me her husband crashed her car and was sending me links trying to get a new one.

 

I ended up meeting her for dinner on new years eve and she was hinting at me getting a hotel and happy to see me holding my hand. She looked

larger as if she had been 3-4 months pregnant at that point. She was looking through my cell phone and deleted all my txt messages

from her, then I saw her cell phone and she had messages from her husband as well as the guy she was with when i was in the hospital all

recent that said "I love you" and calling her "lover" and she sent the same messages to them. I said "whats up with this?" and she said

oh he says that all the time, hes just a friend. She asked me to get her a pregnancy test and I did, she then kissed me and I told

her I was going back to Florida to get my stuff and she said "when are you coming back?"

 

I ended up moving back to Florida and she was upset and crying that I moved back saying "I can't believe your gone" and I assured her I would be back. During this period I found out stuff that further made me suspicious of her, I started spending a lot of time away from her and she would call me more and try to get ahold of me. Her friend (the one that she had a relationship with) messaged me saying "oh she's been telling

me shes been pregnant for 2 weeks now" andI said "oh I guess i'm going to be a daddy" and he said "a daddy?" "oh yeah, you have 9 months to

find a job" and basically I messaged her saying "whats going on? are you pregnant or not?! Your friend told me you went to the doctor" and

she denied it at first then said "I am pregnant but it's not yours!" and I said "who's is it!" and she didn't say anything, and I said "is it

your husbands?" and she said "no" and I said "is it blank" and she said "yes" and I said "so you did sleep with him, you lied to me!" and she

said "I'm a week pregnant" and I said "no that's impossible, you told me you needed a pregnancy test and this is after the alleged time you went

to the doctors. She then said "no I needed to make sure" and I said "you were having those same symptoms while you were with me" and I wouldn't

talk to her, then she asked if I still loved her and kept saying she loved me and then I said "pick between him and I right now" and she said

"i love both of you" and she said "whoever hurts me less", then she finally said the next day when I ignored her "it's you ok".

 

During that time, I started ignoring her and spending more time with friends and she asked me again if I loved her then got upset when her

friends told her that I told them she was pregnant because she wanted to keep it a secret. I told her I had to go and she said "love you"

 

The last 2 weeks shes been up and down like a rollercoaster, sometimes she treats me like a friend, othertimes she treats me like a boyfriend.

She then asked me when i'm coming back to Chicago, just the otherday she said "if you cheated on me, i wouldn't hold it against you" and said

I should move on about the cheating and instead focus on fixing our relationship and I said "how do you want to fix our relationship" and we got

into another argument.

The last 2 weeks, I haven't really talked much at all with her, she talked to me last night and then tonight I didn't talk to her hardly at all

just ignored her.

I don't know at this point, I still have feelings for her but I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, she claims she had sex with him because

i made her feel "worthless" by saying "I wasted my time" the day we got into the huge fight. She's also claiming to be pregnant with another

mans child and her story isn't matching up because she's already lied to me about being in a relationship with him and how long she's been

pregnant isn't matching up either.

At this point, what's the best thing I can do?

[DustySaltus]

Dude, what have you gotten yourself involved in here?

 

She was married, talking to some dude in prison and you all at the same time.

 

Her OWN friends were saying that she was using you.

 

....and now she's pregnant by some other dude.

 

And you're asking what should you do?

 

I would've RAN when she first said she was still married.

 

I think you need to find out why you would still be attracted to a woman after all this? I mean enough has to be enough at some point right?