A new start,

[Aiwa]

Hi,

My story starts when I was abroad studying for a year and I met this girl. We started dating and after a month or so, she moved in with me (it was not done on purpose, we were both alone in this new country and we had each other for support, although I was not happy with this move, and I spend a year feeling restricted and contemplating a break up). My place was pretty small, so we were spending most of the day together. She was pretty crazy for me from day one, she broke up with her boyfriend to start going out with me, while I went out with her because I was attracted to her but nothing else, I still very inexperienced, and she was gonna be my first long term relationship girlfriend.

Anyway a year passed, and we had to take a decision, what to do. First we planned to stay in the country we were in but then I panicked a bit about staying in new country with a girlfriend I was not sure about (I told her that I was not sure about how much I love her, and I wanted to go back to my family). So after a big fight we decided to back to our separate countries, and look for an opportunity to start a new course (study) and try to meet there.

We have been now in this long term relationship for 6 months, and I lost my passion for her and even the interest. Here the problem comes, I don't really know what to do because this long distance relationship it is not gonna last for long as we are applying for some positions in a new country, and I don't want to pull her out of her home for a relationship that might not work at all. I tried to make my point, saying that sometimes I’m not sure what will happen with us or what will we do if we break up in the new country, but most of the time she starts crying and saying that after a year and more together you should know what you want, at that point I don’t why I start reassuring her telling her that everything is gonna be good even though I do not really believe it.

Sometimes I believe that after so much time together and the long distance relationship its normal to feel these things because we were far apart and i had a single life, and now im jumping to this new country with a relationship, which sometimes i see as a hindrance, even to my life in my home country. Secondly I the only person she is really close too, she tells everything to me, since she moved to study abroad, she moved apart from her friends and now i feel like im the only one supporting her through this long distance relationship.

I really don't know what to do or what i am really feeling. I admit my feeling for her where never clear even when we were together, but we still managed to stay together for some time now and we even went through 6 months without seeing each other, so maybe there is something worth it in this relationship. If i break up with her I’m leave her all alone!!

Do you think this relationship should make the jump from a long distance to a normal one? Do you think that after we meet we will see each other in a different light? Maybe start the relationship from new and rebuild it? or am i just dreaming, just not to make her go through a breakup?

Thanks alot for your help. Right now i feel very depressed and lonely, and feel like a very bad person as i made her believe that we can move together to some new country and live a life together but when it really might happen, i am changing my mind!!!

[ginyi1111]

Grrrr you sound just like my ex.

 

If you never felt that way for her why the hell did you string her along??

She was right after more than a year together she deserves honesty and respect.

 

If you decide to break up with her tell her the truth. Dont be like my lame ex that couldnt find a better excuse and blamed it on the distance, and broke up with me 2 days after he went home from visiting me for my birthday.