joel Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 k have a gf and went to her friend b day party-whom i met her female friends and 2 of them are like 27 and are dating like 40 yr old guys. one is 40 and the other is like 41. this for me seems kind of strange as i never had friends or met anyone like this before. what do you guys think of this and why do girls date so guys sooo old. also i wonder why a guy that age so old wouldnt be married or have kids already. hmmm guys at my church who are around that age are already married and have 2 kids. just want to hear what you guys think about it . thats all. i think its a little weird . one is a civil engineer and the other one is a insurance underwriter. hmmm. they are super rich, but not poor. they are settled i guess
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I personally don't understand it and think it's weird as hell, but I won't judge. To each their own...
acac2323 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I dont see the problem...If they are compatable who the hell cares? Many of my friends I just retired with(military) are 38-41 years old and have given their lives to the military, didnt settle down due to the constant deployments (Special Operations)... So they want to start a family know...A 27 year old female who lived a little, and is ready to settle down would be a great age...The guys I am taking about are in great shape and actually look many years younger... Now perhaps a 60 year old with a 27 year old...Then we can talk...
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Just a few years ago, it would've creeped me out. But now, as I've gotten a little older and my priorities have changed, it doesn't bother me in the least. Ya gotta go with whatever turns your crank, and if it happens to be dating someone a decade+ older than you, good on ya! (And no, I'm not in my 40's.)
Chitowngirl Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I'm 27 and would consider dating a 40 yr old...if he was amazing. But most 40 yr olds who have never been married or have kids, are that way for a GOOD REASON; they couldn't find anyone who would put up with their sh*t.
Eeyore79 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 If I was 27, I'd consider dating a 40yo because he'd be well off and would take me out for nice dinners, and on holidays, and buy me gifts... all stuff that guys my age couldn't afford. But I wouldn't actually consider marrying him or having a serious relationship with him, because he'd be far too old to be a father to my future kids, not to mention his looks would be fading and he'd eventually be an old man while I was still in my 40s. Plus if a guy is 40 and still unmarried, he probably isn't a great catch anyway. If the 40yo in question wasn't wealthy then there's no way I, as a 27yo woman, would date him. What would be the point? I could get an equally poor guy who was a decade younger and a hell of a lot hotter! When it comes to serious relationships, at 27 my maximum age would be about 35 - old enough to be sorted in life, but young enough to still be hot and make a good father. 40 is just way past it when you're 27... however once I got into my mid-30s I'd look much more favourably on the 40yo guy!
In_Repair Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I'm an older man in a relationship like this. I'm 34 and she is 21. While we are younger than the example given, the age difference is the same at 13 years. Why are we together? For the same reasons every other couple is together. It's completely understandable though how people have such differing opinions about it. We had concerns about it ourselves when we first started dating. BTW, I'm separated and I do have children. The woman I was seeing before her is 40 years old. She initially approached me with interest, I wasn't out chasing a younger woman.
sumdude Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Well when you all turn 30 then 40 your ideas about age will change that's for sure. I'll be 42 in a couple of weeks. Divorced, not by my choice and with no kids. If I found a compatible woman in her late 20's that would be fine. I've had trouble with women my age, usually if they're 40 and never married they are too set in their ways and often jaded having been through too many relationships.
stillafool Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 If I was 27, I'd consider dating a 40yo because he'd be well off and would take me out for nice dinners, and on holidays, and buy me gifts... all stuff that guys my age couldn't afford. But I wouldn't actually consider marrying him or having a serious relationship with him, because he'd be far too old to be a father to my future kids, not to mention his looks would be fading and he'd eventually be an old man while I was still in my 40s. Plus if a guy is 40 and still unmarried, he probably isn't a great catch anyway. If the 40yo in question wasn't wealthy then there's no way I, as a 27yo woman, would date him. What would be the point? I could get an equally poor guy who was a decade younger and a hell of a lot hotter! When it comes to serious relationships, at 27 my maximum age would be about 35 - old enough to be sorted in life, but young enough to still be hot and make a good father. 40 is just way past it when you're 27... however once I got into my mid-30s I'd look much more favourably on the 40yo guy! This is how I would feel. When I was 27, 40 seemed ancient to me.
Eeyore79 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Well when you all turn 30 then 40 your ideas about age will change that's for sure. I'm 30, and I admit that my ideas about men and age have changed already. When I was in my 20s I was concerned about which guy was hot and sexy, and which guy took me out and showed me a good time. I dated some older guys because they were typically wealthy and looked after me, and the lack of long term prospects didn't matter. Now I'm 30, I'm suddenly more concerned about which guy would make a good husband and father, and I've revised my age limits downwards. I don't want a guy in his 40s who'll be drawing his pension before our second kid even leaves school. If I found a compatible woman in her late 20's that would be fine. I've had trouble with women my age, usually if they're 40 and never married they are too set in their ways and often jaded having been through too many relationships. Depends if you want kids or not. Obviously you need to date younger if you want kids, but will a younger woman be interested in an older man being the father of her child? Is that "compatible woman in her late 20s" really serious about having an LTR and kids with you, or is she just toying with you until her biological clock starts to tick and she looks for a younger man who's more suitable father material?
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Just a few years ago, it would've creeped me out. But now, as I've gotten a little older and my priorities have changed, it doesn't bother me in the least. Ya gotta go with whatever turns your crank, and if it happens to be dating someone a decade+ older than you, good on ya! (And no, I'm not in my 40's.) I should probably give the background that lead to my position. Years ago, I was the May in a May-December romance. I knew it wouldn't last, but I enjoyed it while I could and I never regretted it, either then or now. After that, I got into this whole "someone around my age is probably at the same stage in life, mentality, blah blah blah", so I started looking within my own age range and nowhere else. Lately, I changed that position. If I'm into someone and they're into me and we get along well and have the same general goals, I don't care about the age. I am aware that this does generally restrict me to people my age and younger, as many older people already have kids and don't want more, but the whole family/kids/dog named Sparky thing is part of my criteria. If you fit it, you fit it, and if you don't, you don't - regardless of how old you are.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I am 27, and the man I date is 40..... we do o.k. lol. Questions?
sumdude Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I'm 30, and I admit that my ideas about men and age have changed already. When I was in my 20s I was concerned about which guy was hot and sexy, and which guy took me out and showed me a good time. I dated some older guys because they were typically wealthy and looked after me, and the lack of long term prospects didn't matter. Now I'm 30, I'm suddenly more concerned about which guy would make a good husband and father, and I've revised my age limits downwards. I don't want a guy in his 40s who'll be drawing his pension before our second kid even leaves school. My father was 41 when I was born. I was the youngest of three. He was an excellent father. It was a more traditional household, mom was stay at home. She was about eight years younger. Dad was the type who worked by his own choice literally until the day he passed at the age of 80. Depends if you want kids or not. Obviously you need to date younger if you want kids, but will a younger woman be interested in an older man being the father of her child? Is that "compatible woman in her late 20s" really serious about having an LTR and kids with you, or is she just toying with you until her biological clock starts to tick and she looks for a younger man who's more suitable father material? I still would like to have a family though I know the window is closing in the next couple of years. Not that I couldn't conceive for another decade or two but I don't want to be too ancient when raising a child. I know a lot of couples having children later these days. I look at it in terms of the right relationship has to exist first rather than going out there looking for one just because I want kids.
Tatiana82 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Though to each their own, I am twenty-seven and I personally get annoyed and creeped out when forty + year old guys hit on me. I say five year leeway on either side is age gap enough for me. I wonder if these forty + year old men who go after twenty year olds would be just as interested in women 20 years their senior? They had their chance at being young, let it go...and that goes for cougars as well.
stillafool Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Depends if you want kids or not. Obviously you need to date younger if you want kids, but will a younger woman be interested in an older man being the father of her child? Is that "compatible woman in her late 20s" really serious about having an LTR and kids with you, or is she just toying with you until her biological clock starts to tick and she looks for a younger man who's more suitable father material? If I were a young woman who wanted to have children, I would not chose an older man as I would want his genes to be as fresh as mine. I would want to give my baby the best.
stillafool Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I still would like to have a family though I know the window is closing in the next couple of years. Not that I couldn't conceive for another decade or two but I don't want to be too ancient when raising a child. I know a lot of couples having children later these days. I look at it in terms of the right relationship has to exist first rather than going out there looking for one just because I want kids. Yeah, I know women who have 2 year olds and are dealing with being premenopausal as well. They are tired and depressed.
Ross PK Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) Nothing wrong with it at all. The 27 year olds are almost 30 themselves, the age gap isn't that big. And even if it was big, there's still nothing wrong with it as long as they're above legal age. Edited February 16, 2010 by Ross PK
Template Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I'm 27 and would consider dating a 40 yr old...if he was amazing. But most 40 yr olds who have never been married or have kids, are that way for a GOOD REASON; they couldn't find anyone who would put up with their sh*t. Or.. we didn't settle and put up with their sh*t.
D-Lish Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Meh, I don't see that as a huge age gap- I don't think it's weird.
skydiveaddict Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Meh, I don't see that as a huge age gap- I don't think it's weird. Ok, what about a 50 yr old,(me) dating a 39 yr old (her)? Trouble is she smashed my heart to bits and now I don't wanna date anyone, regardless of age.
Yamaha Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Why do people care about this topic? If the ones involved are happy do they really care if other people look at them in dismay? Everyone gets old and those that think they are so young and have the world by the tail will wake up and realize that they are the ones now old and wish people didn't think about age so much!
troggleputty Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Ok, what about a 50 yr old,(me) dating a 39 yr old (her)? Trouble is she smashed my heart to bits and now I don't wanna date anyone, regardless of age. Since you feel that way, just as a challenge to yourself, why not see just how outrageously young you can date? Try it for a while. Hit on a bunch of gals in their mid 20's and see what happens.
xxxheartbrokenxxx Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Meh, I don't see that as a huge age gap- I don't think it's weird. I agree with you - a 10 or 12 year age gap is totally fine. A while back I was involved with a man 22 years older than me and it had nothing to do with money or me messing around - I genuinely loved him. My new boyfriend is 10 years older and actually seems really young in comparision to what I'm used to!
amerikajin Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I'm 27 and would consider dating a 40 yr old...if he was amazing. But most 40 yr olds who have never been married or have kids, are that way for a GOOD REASON; they couldn't find anyone who would put up with their sh*t. In some cases, yes, this is true. But it's also true that 40 year-olds who have been married and divorced could fit this very same description. I think what's more likely is that 40 year-olds who have been married are either socially awkward or they are a bit self-absorbed and need their independence more than they need other people.
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