sxygrl Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 A few months ago i found out my ex who i dated a while back got married. I recently saw him on facebook and his new wife. They haven't been married but a year or less. I was looking on this wife's profile tonight, and noticed she change being married to "in a relationship but its complicated". I can't believe someone would put this status up even if it was true. what do you guys think? Do you think this means their marriage is having major issues or what does that mean? i mean who the heck even uses that as a status? I've never seen it before. I'm surprised they haven't been married that long and she already changed it to that.
CaliGuy Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Well thier "status" shouldn't have any effect on you. He's in your past and as most people will point out here, keeping exes in your past is often a good idea. Stop checking his Facebook
Confusedalways Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 From what I've observed, "it's complicated" usually means the relationship is on the rocks. People say not to put a high value on FB.. but I think 'it's complicated' is a pretty bold statement. I'd regard their relationship as almost donezo.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I've seen it used when people are dating, sorta, kinda.... never seen a married person have their status as that though!
Author sxygrl Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Well thier "status" shouldn't have any effect on you. He's in your past and as most people will point out here, keeping exes in your past is often a good idea. Stop checking his Facebook Does that make you feel good to tell me that? That's NOT the question, if you hadn't noticed. I'm aware that it shouldn't effect me, but im asking in general because that status is new to me.I've never seen it. i admit i also am curious if the marriage is already having major issues within only a year or less of being married. He married someone much younger than him, and i had a bad feeling about it. this might be a good example of why you should wait until you are much older to tie the knot.
Author sxygrl Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 I've seen it used when people are dating, sorta, kinda.... never seen a married person have their status as that though! yeah I could more so imagine it if you are just dating someone, not when married. Even if they are having problems, isn't that kind of tacky to put up?
Citizen Erased Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Them being married, things aren't right with their marriage. If you're dating or not technically "together" obviously that's a different story.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Does that make you feel good to tell me that? That's NOT the question, if you hadn't noticed. I'm aware that it shouldn't effect me, but im asking in general because that status is new to me.I've never seen it. i admit i also am curious if the marriage is already having major issues within only a year or less of being married. He married someone much younger than him, and i had a bad feeling about it. this might be a good example of why you should wait until you are much older to tie the knot. "It's complicated" has always been a choice for relationship status ever since the advent of Facebook. And yes, people use it. What does it mean...? Who knows...and like caliguy has said...who cares...? Do you really care about everything going on with your facebook friends? People seriously take way too much stock in the book... But I see that you're new...you'll eventually understand that people on LS really do care and want to help you...even if what they say is not what you want to hear...
Author sxygrl Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 "It's complicated" has always been a choice for relationship status ever since the advent of Facebook. And yes, people use it. What does it mean...? Who knows...and like caliguy has said...who cares...? Do you really care about everything going on with your facebook friends? People seriously take way too much stock in the book... But I see that you're new...you'll eventually understand that people on LS really do care and want to help you...even if what they say is not what you want to hear... sounds like some people are taking this thread way too seriously. no i dont really care what all my friends are doing on fb. i was just asking. i haven't seen my ex's profile or his wife for months and months. I just happened to think about it tonight for some reason. i checked and was very surprised. i had a feeling because she is much younger than he is and didn't seem like his type things wouldn't go so smoothly as a married couple
Butterflying Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Does that make you feel good to tell me that? That's NOT the question, if you hadn't noticed. I'm aware that it shouldn't effect me, but im asking in general because that status is new to me.I've never seen it. i admit i also am curious if the marriage is already having major issues within only a year or less of being married. He married someone much younger than him, and i had a bad feeling about it. this might be a good example of why you should wait until you are much older to tie the knot. Please don't take this the wrong way...but I also think you are investing too much interest in their relationship. Your question: What does "it's complicated" mean in Facebook status doesn't have anything to do with the fact that your XBF married someone younger, people should wait until they are older to tie the knot, ect, ect. To answer your question, I once used that status in my profile when I was dating one particular guy off and on. Basically, we were together for a while, and then we weren't due to various complicated issues. Since he was in and out of my life, it wasn't completely true to say that I was single or in a relationship. Some people may use this status when they are dating a married woman/man. Anything that constitues a complication in a relationship fits into this category. But please, for your own good, don't waste your time wondering what's wrong with your XBF's marriage. Rather he made the right decision or not is his life to deal with, not yours. What went wrong for them is not neccesarily the same thing that will go wrong for anyone else. At the end of the day, you don't know, and shouldn't care if age is their problem or not. Post your status as whatever you feel like. Attract the people you want and deserve. Forget about the XBF and his wife.
CaliGuy Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Does that make you feel good to tell me that? That's NOT the question, if you hadn't noticed. I'm aware that it shouldn't effect me, but im asking in general because that status is new to me.I've never seen it. i admit i also am curious if the marriage is already having major issues within only a year or less of being married. He married someone much younger than him, and i had a bad feeling about it. this might be a good example of why you should wait until you are much older to tie the knot. The question is irrelevant. The greater question is "Why are you still looking up your ex on Facebook?" He's married. It doesn't matter what his wife's status is on Facebook. By looking him up, you are simply causing yourself to ask questions which do not need to be answered. Exes are exes for a reason. You are best served by not looking him or his wife up on Facebook. Just as "You can not drive a car while staring at the rear view mirror", catch my drift? This behavior is doing you no good at all.
aerogurl87 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 A few months ago i found out my ex who i dated a while back got married. I recently saw him on facebook and his new wife. They haven't been married but a year or less. I was looking on this wife's profile tonight, and noticed she change being married to "in a relationship but its complicated". I can't believe someone would put this status up even if it was true. what do you guys think? Do you think this means their marriage is having major issues or what does that mean? i mean who the heck even uses that as a status? I've never seen it before. I'm surprised they haven't been married that long and she already changed it to that. I have an old teacher from high school who I friended on facebook and when him and his wife separated his status went from "married" to "it's complicated". Two months later and I found out he was getting a divorce. So I guess it means they are having a rough patch in their relationship, but even then I personally wouldn't broadcast that on facebook!
tigressA Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I have an "it's complicated" relationship status with one of the guys I'm seeing, but it's nothing more than a joke. I was talking to him through IM when I was drunk one night a few days ago and asked him if he'd be "complicated" with me on Facebook. He laughed and said, "Sure". So you never really know just what could be going on there. People really do put so much stock into what they see on Facebook, it's pretty ridiculous. I also agree with what CaliGuy has said.
Satisfaction Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I've seen that before. Turns out the guy had cheated on his wife. The wife got up and left the country and the guy stayed and had a relationship with the girl he cheated with. Don't know what happened after that!
phineas Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Maybe i'm just low BS /drama tolerance but i'm either with someone or i'm not. "it's complicated" makes me cringe. Even when I caught my wife cheating & she moved out I still considered myself married. Now i'm getting a divorce I consider myself single. Nothing complicated about that.
Clep Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 To me it is a way of advertising to the world that your relationship is on the rocks to set yourself up with something else or to gain attention. If I ever saw that on my bf's page things would become extremely complicated quickly.
whichwayisup Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 A few months ago i found out my ex who i dated a while back got married. I recently saw him on facebook and his new wife. They haven't been married but a year or less. I was looking on this wife's profile tonight, and noticed she change being married to "in a relationship but its complicated". I can't believe someone would put this status up even if it was true. what do you guys think? Do you think this means their marriage is having major issues or what does that mean? i mean who the heck even uses that as a status? I've never seen it before. I'm surprised they haven't been married that long and she already changed it to that. 1)stop nosing around your ex and his wife's facebook. Maybe it's a joke. Who knows, but does it really matter? Are you hoping to get back with him or are you just curious?
Clep Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 The question is irrelevant. The greater question is "Why are you still looking up your ex on Facebook?" He's married. It doesn't matter what his wife's status is on Facebook. By looking him up, you are simply causing yourself to ask questions which do not need to be answered. Exes are exes for a reason. You are best served by not looking him or his wife up on Facebook. Just as "You can not drive a car while staring at the rear view mirror", catch my drift? This behavior is doing you no good at all. I think that something that is curious to her is not irrelevant. I have an ex I looked up on facebook as I was curious as to how he is doing today. I am in a very happy relationship and do not look back on my relationship. For whatever reason I was reminded of him just as I have of my female friends I have lost track of over the years. When I have seen their pages and saw the new men they were with I also checked out their pages. It was natural curiosity and no more.
CaliGuy Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I think that something that is curious to her is not irrelevant. I have an ex I looked up on facebook as I was curious as to how he is doing today. I am in a very happy relationship and do not look back on my relationship. For whatever reason I was reminded of him just as I have of my female friends I have lost track of over the years. When I have seen their pages and saw the new men they were with I also checked out their pages. It was natural curiosity and no more. I can understand when one reminisces about past people in their lives and want to check up to know they are OK. What I do not understand is why she needs to know this information to the point she posed the question on an open, public forum? He is married to someone else. She should respect that by not nosing around in a married man's business. All this will lead to is bad news for everyone involved. Natural curiosity would have been "Oh bummer, they're having problems" and left it at that. IMHO, it goes beyond natural curiosity when you start posing the question on a public forum. My point to her is "leave it be" because the more she pokes around, the more problems she's going to cause for herself and possibly them. And I just don't see the benefit to her or anyone else for her to "investigate" the issue....
Author sxygrl Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 I can understand when one reminisces about past people in their lives and want to check up to know they are OK. What I do not understand is why she needs to know this information to the point she posed the question on an open, public forum? He is married to someone else. She should respect that by not nosing around in a married man's business. All this will lead to is bad news for everyone involved. Natural curiosity would have been "Oh bummer, they're having problems" and left it at that. IMHO, it goes beyond natural curiosity when you start posing the question on a public forum. My point to her is "leave it be" because the more she pokes around, the more problems she's going to cause for herself and possibly them. And I just don't see the benefit to her or anyone else for her to "investigate" the issue.... Oh my god! I wish I hadn't even made this thread. why do you have the need to continually lecture someone about this? i'm fully aware that its best not to look up your old bf's and such. i can't imagine being married less than a year and going to the extent of saying you are in a relationship and its complicated. i did date this guy a long time, and maybe i just am curious, because he is a part of my past.you know like sometimes you look up old friends to see what they are up to? yes, i made a post about it, but why does that give you right to pick at that, and ask why I'm making a thread over it? i just felt like doing so. another thing is, he started being a major jerk when we were dating, and it also makes me curious if she is starting to realize this (maybe he is treating her poorly like he did me)and its causing the problems in the marriage. maybe in a way, it makes me feel even better that i didn't marry him, because we had talked about it I appreciate all the responses that were straight to the point! yeah, sounds pretty bad, that she felt the need to change it from married to in a relationship and it's complicated. i think anyone who does this, is just asking for more trouble and more drama though. her husband is on the site..he can see it. also, i would say she may be trying to get attention. maybe it is joke, hopefully so lol
CaliGuy Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Oh my god! I wish I hadn't even made this thread. why do you have the need to continually lecture someone about this? Because you need to realize that this type of behavior is not particularly healthy. You also posed this question on a very public internet forum. LS is renowned for being straight up and honest with people. You did not expect everyone to bless this sort of behavior without warning you of the possible pitfalls, did you? i'm fully aware that its best not to look up your old bf's and such. i can't imagine being married less than a year and going to the extent of saying you are in a relationship and its complicated. Yet you did it anyway. Basic curiosity is understandable. When you start asking questions and pose those questions to a group of people it goes beyond basic curosity and starts getting into unhealthy behavior. Whatever is going on in his life, he made that bed, he will deal with it. It shouldn't really matter to you if he has learned his lesson or changed. The only reason I can see that you would want to know that information is to see if there is an open opportunity for you to perhaps rekindle your relationship. And that, my friend, is why I am concerned. He is married and as such, is off limits to you, regardless of the state of his marriage. i did date this guy a long time, and maybe i just am curious, because he is a part of my past.you know like sometimes you look up old friends to see what they are up to? He's an old flame not just an "old friend". I look up old friends occasionally on FB but they're also on my friends list. I do not look up old flames, especially if they are married as their marital status is of no concern to me. yes, i made a post about it, but why does that give you right to pick at that, and ask why I'm making a thread over it? I'm not picking on you. I'm trying to get you to understand that you are starting down a path that is not healthy for you or for him. As you state in the next paragraph, he was starting to be a major jerk. I'm trying to understand why you are enamored to the point of looking this "married" jerk up and questionning the status of his marriage. Again, I go back to the last question I posed you: "Why does it matter to you?" Answer: It shouldn't. i just felt like doing so. another thing is, he started being a major jerk when we were dating, and it also makes me curious if she is starting to realize this (maybe he is treating her poorly like he did me)and its causing the problems in the marriage. maybe in a way, it makes me feel even better that i didn't marry him, because we had talked about it Well then, if this is the case and his marriage is on the rocks, then you're vindicated/validated, right? No need to keep poking around anymore. You made the right decision to leave that relationship. For your own sake, I would not continue poking around on their FB pages lest you wish to bite the tail of a dragon....
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