counterman Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Does it really matter what race the guy you dated in the past was? I agree with grogster, at least you know of this now.
Satisfaction Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Better to find this out now than a year into the relationship. He's probably both insecure and racist, which is not attractive. So funny the way you put it but really right! There is nothing like a pure race anyway. Everyone is mixed to some extent.
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Very few white and black people in the US have a very pure bloodline. Most differences in whites and blacks these days are superficial at best, both genetically and culturally.
torranceshipman Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 That guy is a complete loser - what a pathetic, ignorant scumbag. I completely despise people like him. How dare he say that? Racists are the lowest form of life in my view. Thank God you saw his true colors early. Man, if a guy texted that to me...even reading the post makes me hopping mad.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 Thanks for your responses, guys, I agree. I was fuming pissed when I thought about it; he texted me this morning and asked if I wanted to meet up still. I never responded. I can't even be friends with someone like that.
Johnny M Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 What's the difference between preference and prejudice? Is it preference or prejudice to reject guys who are too short? Is it preference or prejudice to reject people who are not educated enough? Or who don't have a good enough job? Personally, I don't believe in interracial dating either. A woman who was fine with it obviously would not be a good match for me in terms of her values, so I wouldn't date her. I don't see how that makes me "prejudiced".
cognac Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 What's the difference between preference and prejudice? Is it preference or prejudice to reject guys who are too short? Is it preference or prejudice to reject people who are not educated enough? Or who don't have a good enough job? Personally, I don't believe in interracial dating either. A woman who was fine with it obviously would not be a good match for me in terms of her values, so I wouldn't date her. I don't see how that makes me "prejudiced". Bless you Johnny, I'm with you 100%. A woman who dates outside of her race is generally not compatible with my own values. That's not to say I'm racist, I usually treat everyone equally as long as they respect me, and actually you know what, people of color have said I'm less racist than most whites they know because I don't sugarcoat anything nor do I fear other people's reactions to my opinion. women won't date a guy whose 5'7, but *gasp* if you ask for a woman to only date white guys it's EVIL and BAD It's a simple fact that a woman's opinions are sculpted by a controlled media, especially outlets such as MTV which say interracial dating is cool and hip. When you date outside your race it shows you don't value your own roots and most likely hate your self. Race is your extended family, while it's not PC , it's the pure truth, and if you are not loyal to your race, you are not loyal to anything.
Simon Attwood Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I don't believe in interracial dating either. I would like, if I may, to question your use of the word "believe" in this context; The definition of the word "Believe" is; 1. To accept as true or real something for what you have no objective or physical evidence for. Like the belief in Father Christmas, ghosts, or the belief in the existence of an all powerful god, etc.; As there are 100s of 1000s of interracial relationships, the objective and physical evidence is there in abundance so belief is not required 2. To credit with veracity; As above there is no requirement to credit with veracity because the physical and objective evidence is rife. 3. To expect or suppose; Once again, there's no supposition; it's not a hypothesis, it's a fact supported by 100s of 1000s examples. So unless you are in some form of massive denial as to the existence of interracial relationships, i'd suggest you select a better adjective more suited to your statement Perhaps "Agree"? But then what would your agreement have to do with someone else's choices? Surely it is not your place to agree or disagree to choices that are not your own? I think the closest you could get to a correct statement would be; "my personal choice would be not to be involved in an interracial relationship." But to determine what a potential relationship candidate is allowed to have done with their past and let that determine your interest in them as a relationship candidate.... is, without doubt, a perspective influenced by insecurity = prejudice prejudice; A preconceived preference or idea. an opinion formed beforehand, esp an unfavourable one based on inadequate facts. Of course it makes you prejudiced
Chicago_Guy Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Simon Atwood, I see that you used a lot of words to essentially say nothing. Yes, I agree with you that Johnny M's use of "believe" was incorrect in the context in which it was used, but there was no need to write a long rambling dissertation on this point. Johnny M gave his honest opinion on the question and you engaged in an ad hominem attack on him because you didn't like what he wrote. There's a number of reasons why he might not support interracial dating, and they are certainly not all due to some kind of deep-seated insecurities. I see that you are from the UK. If you ever visit America, I suggest that you put your theory that any dislike between the races is necessarily due to insecurities to the test. Walk through South Central Los Angeles by yourself late at night and if anyone tries to mess with you because you are white, I suggest that you explain to that person(s) that any problem they have with you is due to their own insecurities. Please report back and let us know how they respond to your accusations.
Simon Attwood Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 If I was walking through South Central Los Angeles, i'd probably be doing so with my wife ..... and she's black. That very well may cause a racially aggressive response, as it did recently walking through Brixton when we were approached by a black guy wielding a machette and hurling abuse at us. I'm not sure how that is relevant though ..
sally4sara Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I see that you are from the UK. If you ever visit America, I suggest that you put your theory that any dislike between the races is necessarily due to insecurities to the test. Walk through South Central Los Angeles by yourself late at night and if anyone tries to mess with you because you are white, I suggest that you explain to that person(s) that any problem they have with you is due to their own insecurities. Please report back and let us know how they respond to your accusations. So you're saying a white guy shouldn't date a woman who dated outside of her race because of this? Do you believe non-white men are able to "sense" she was once with a man of color and will attack you for dating her? Nixing someone because of the skin color of folks she use to date is clear sign of ignorance. Do some folks believe it is a contagious thing? But at least you will be inadvertently do them a favor by nixing them. I'm pretty sure ignorance would be a worse thing to catch from someone than a skin color.
Bejita463 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Personally, I don't believe in interracial dating either. A woman who was fine with it obviously would not be a good match for me in terms of her values, so I wouldn't date her. I don't see how that makes me "prejudiced". I don't see how it does not. Is that satire?
randall Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) Personally, I don't believe in interracial dating either. A woman who was fine with it obviously would not be a good match for me in terms of her values, so I wouldn't date her. I don't see how that makes me "prejudiced". You have a preconceived preference that you are acting on before even meeting a woman. I think what you have described is almost the definition of prejudiced. Edited January 21, 2010 by randall Spelling mistake.
Chicago_Guy Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 So you're saying a white guy shouldn't date a woman who dated outside of her race because of this? Do you believe non-white men are able to "sense" she was once with a man of color and will attack you for dating her? Nixing someone because of the skin color of folks she use to date is clear sign of ignorance. Do some folks believe it is a contagious thing? But at least you will be inadvertently do them a favor by nixing them. I'm pretty sure ignorance would be a worse thing to catch from someone than a skin color. Look at what I wrote - I certainly didn't write that a white guy shouldn't date a woman because she dated outside of her race. People should date who they want to date. However, there are many guys who won't date a woman based on whom she has dated in the past because a lot/most guys do judge women based on who they have dated in the past. If you don't believe that, take a look at the message threads in this forum. Nixing someone because of the skin color of folks she use to date is clear sign of ignorance. If you really believe that what you wrote is true, then I suppose agree that someone is just as ignorant for nixing someone for any of the following: promiscuouslack of educationtoo shorttoo fatdoesn't make enough money
randall Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Bless you Johnny, I'm with you 100%. A woman who dates outside of her race is generally not compatible with my own values. So if a cute Japanese or Latina girl approached you you'd instantly reject her because your values don't allow for interacial dating? "Racism: discrimination against or antagonism towards other races." What part of eliminating someone from your dating pool based only on the racial aspect is not racist?
sally4sara Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Look at what I wrote - I certainly didn't write that a white guy shouldn't date a woman because she dated outside of her race. People should date who they want to date. However, there are many guys who won't date a woman based on whom she has dated in the past because a lot/most guys do judge women based on who they have dated in the past. If you don't believe that, take a look at the message threads in this forum. Nixing someone because of the skin color of folks she use to date is clear sign of ignorance. If you really believe that what you wrote is true, then I suppose agree that someone is just as ignorant for nixing someone for any of the following: promiscuouslack of educationtoo shorttoo fatdoesn't make enough money One isn't BORN promiscuous or becomes promiscuous because they were in a relationship with a person who turned out to be promiscuous. One isn't BORN to stay uneducated or becomes uneducated because they dated someone who was uneducated. One isn't BORN and dedicated to being poor or becomes poor because they once dated someone who was poor. Being fat can be a condition from birth, but it more often is a sign of a lifestyle. You still won't become fat if you date someone who once dated a fat person. Nor will you become short if you dated someone who once dated a short person. It is not the same. It is ignorant to think these are like what the OP experienced with this guy she was getting to know.
ella23 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Bless you Johnny, I'm with you 100%. A woman who dates outside of her race is generally not compatible with my own values. That's not to say I'm racist, I usually treat everyone equally as long as they respect me, and actually you know what, people of color have said I'm less racist than most whites they know because I don't sugarcoat anything nor do I fear other people's reactions to my opinion. women won't date a guy whose 5'7, but *gasp* if you ask for a woman to only date white guys it's EVIL and BAD It's a simple fact that a woman's opinions are sculpted by a controlled media, especially outlets such as MTV which say interracial dating is cool and hip. When you date outside your race it shows you don't value your own roots and most likely hate your self. Race is your extended family, while it's not PC , it's the pure truth, and if you are not loyal to your race, you are not loyal to anything. Says the guy who apparently wants to move to another country like Korea or somewhere to find a girl. OP, I do think that guy is prejudiced.
torranceshipman Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) It's a simple fact that a woman's opinions are sculpted by a controlled media, especially outlets such as MTV which say interracial dating is cool and hip. When you date outside your race it shows you don't value your own roots and most likely hate your self Well you win the prize for the most patronizing post in history. You really assume women think a certain way because MTV tells them to?! You clearly have a problem with interracial dating but many of us don't. In fact I don't even give it any thought. If I like someone, I like them. Race is just one of so many different parts of a person. To think as you do, that people must 'hate themsleves' to date outside of their race, is a bizarre belief. Btw I agree that preferences are fine - I grew up with Muslim friends who wouldn't date me because I am white and because it is important for them and their religious beliefs to only date other Muslims. They were totally respectful and cool friends, and I had no problem with that standpoint at all. Cool with me - that is a religiously based preference. It is small minded bigotry and judgementalism (by any religious or ethnic group) that I find to be a problem. I agree with an earlier poster that America is still an extremely racist place. People in many other cultures would think we were freaks for sounding so middle-ages about (shock, horror) 'interracial dating'. Edited January 21, 2010 by torranceshipman
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 The point here, for me anyway, is that the guy can have any opinion he wants. It was just the way he put things that made me feel judged, when quite frankly, it was a choice I had made. He was rude about it which led me to think that he is just a bit predjudiced. He was really sweet, kind, flattering, etc, UNTIL he found out about that and then he was almost rude. There is a way to say things and he was almost disrespectful about it. Thanks all.
Johnny M Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I would like, if I may, to question your use of the word "believe" in this context; The definition of the word "Believe" is; 1. To accept as true or real something for what you have no objective or physical evidence for. Like the belief in Father Christmas, ghosts, or the belief in the existence of an all powerful god, etc.; As there are 100s of 1000s of interracial relationships, the objective and physical evidence is there in abundance so belief is not required 2. To credit with veracity; As above there is no requirement to credit with veracity because the physical and objective evidence is rife. 3. To expect or suppose; Once again, there's no supposition; it's not a hypothesis, it's a fact supported by 100s of 1000s examples. So unless you are in some form of massive denial as to the existence of interracial relationships, i'd suggest you select a better adjective more suited to your statement Perhaps "Agree"? But then what would your agreement have to do with someone else's choices? Surely it is not your place to agree or disagree to choices that are not your own? I think the closest you could get to a correct statement would be; "my personal choice would be not to be involved in an interracial relationship." But to determine what a potential relationship candidate is allowed to have done with their past and let that determine your interest in them as a relationship candidate.... is, without doubt, a perspective influenced by insecurity = prejudice prejudice; A preconceived preference or idea. an opinion formed beforehand, esp an unfavourable one based on inadequate facts. Of course it makes you prejudiced I don't believe interracial dating is morally or socially acceptable, Mr. Dictionary Guy. Does that clarify it?
OpenGL Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 When you date outside your race it shows you don't value your own roots and most likely hate your self. Race is your extended family, while it's not PC , it's the pure truth, and if you are not loyal to your race, you are not loyal to anything. Wow, you can't be serious? Dating outside your race means you hate yourself? Loyal to your race? Dude we are all the same fing species and we all evolved from the same common ancestor. What exactly are we betraying? Skin color also has absolutely nothing to do with extended family. I only have to go back to my grandparents before I hit having white people in my family. They are my actual family, more than some random black person just because we might have similar skin color. Not that it even matters when it comes to dating, are you into dating extended family or something?
OpenGL Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I don't believe interracial dating is morally or socially acceptable, Mr. Dictionary Guy. Does that clarify it? Do you mind expanding on that? What is morally or socially wrong with it?
Simon Attwood Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I don't see how that makes me "prejudiced". I don't believe interracial dating is morally or socially acceptable, Mr. Dictionary Guy. Does that clarify it? Clarified
Johnny M Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Well you win the prize for the most patronizing post in history. You really assume women think a certain way because MTV tells them to?! Actually, there's a lot of truth to what he's saying. How frequent was interracial dating between white women and black men prior to the 1980's? It wasn't very frequent at all - it fact, it was almost non-existent. Two decades later, black/white couples are all over the place (and 90% of the time, it's a black man with a white woman). So what changed? Did white women all of a sudden realize that black men were attractive? Or could it perhaps have something to do with the popular culture (MTV, movies, etc.) promoting interracial dating? On a number of occasions, I've overheard conversations between girls talking about how 'cool' it would be to have a black boyfriend. It is obviously seen as some kind of a riske thing. Likewise, it is no secret that many black men see 'white meat' as a status symbol (and they greatly prefer white women to those of their own race). This is part of what makes interracial dating so dirty to me.
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I used to go out with a white guy who was extremely prejudiced. He had the same POV as Cognac and Johnny M rolled together, and frankly it was a deal-breaker for me. I dumped him because I couldn't stand his racist attitudes. he kept going on about his pure British blood, and how it would never be tainted by fraternising with a woman from a coloured race.... ...So you can imagine the look on my face when I discovered that his mother had been trying to trace a family relative, and through investigation, out of curiosity, and discovered that his great-great (something) grandfather had been black. A freed slave, he had married a white woman in Jamaica, and they had had a big family. The eldest son also married a white woman, and so, the black characteristics and facial features had become far less pronounced. But there was no question. He was part black. Now HIS face - I'd loved to have seen. From what I heard, it actually shook him. And let me tell you, with the history of slavery both in the UK and America, caucasians with black blood are a lot more abundant than you'd think....
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