Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I do the online dating thing from time to time. So last night this guy and I were emailing each other and he seemed cool. We exchanged numbers and he was texting me last night and called me today. We're chatting on the phone and he asked me as we're talking about dating experiences. Somehow it came up what kind of guys I've dated. He asked if I've dated outside of my race. (I'm white.) I did hook up with a black guy years ago, and I find black men attractive. Although I predominantly date white guys. I told him the truth about this situation. Almost instantly he said he had to get off the phone. I knew it was because he didn't like my answer. He texted me later and told me that the "black thing wasn't his cup of tea," to which I responded that although I respected his opinion I didn't understand why it was a big deal. Is this prejudice on his part? I feel like it is. Then a few minutes later he texted, "Good night." What the hell? I don't know if dating a guy like that is a good idea.
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 It's plainly prejudice, not preference, to nix a dating prospect merely because they have had relationships outside their race in the past.
cashew Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I do the online dating thing from time to time. So last night this guy and I were emailing each other and he seemed cool. We exchanged numbers and he was texting me last night and called me today. We're chatting on the phone and he asked me as we're talking about dating experiences. Somehow it came up what kind of guys I've dated. He asked if I've dated outside of my race. (I'm white.) I did hook up with a black guy years ago, and I find black men attractive. Although I predominantly date white guys. I told him the truth about this situation. Almost instantly he said he had to get off the phone. I knew it was because he didn't like my answer. He texted me later and told me that the "black thing wasn't his cup of tea," to which I responded that although I respected his opinion I didn't understand why it was a big deal. Is this prejudice on his part? I feel like it is. Then a few minutes later he texted, "Good night." What the hell? I don't know if dating a guy like that is a good idea. He's prejudiced.
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Why would you want to date someone like that? He did you a favor.
mem11363 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 First let me start with: Good for you for having an open mind. Hey we would never get to look at Halle Berry were it not for interracial dating. I personally find mixed race folks to be more beautiful then non mixed race folks. A couple nights ago wife and I are talking and something comes up on this subject. We had talked about it a long long time ago - more then 10 years ago - maybe more then 15 years back - and I remembered that chat but she did not. And what I remembered was that she told me she went on a date and kissed a black guy who she worked with at a part time job when she was in college. Cool with me. What I also remembered was she was uncomfortable when I told her I had dated and mated with a black girl when I was 19. But she is NOT consciously racist so while she squirmed she didn't say anything inappropriate. It was quite entertaining for me. Well she had forgotten that conversation - sometimes she forgets basic stuff. And she had the exact same reaction all over again with the additive comment of "and how come you never told me that?" I just laughed said I did tell you, you must have forgotten. Anyway she squirmed again and then dropped it. Your guy sounds like a freak. Why does he care? Really - this whole thing guys have about female sexual history is so lame. I only care about one thing - do you have any diseases? That is it. Other then that tell me what you want or don't tell me. My wife - she and I did a full disclosure thing early on. We had about the same number of partners so no big deal. I do the online dating thing from time to time. So last night this guy and I were emailing each other and he seemed cool. We exchanged numbers and he was texting me last night and called me today. We're chatting on the phone and he asked me as we're talking about dating experiences. Somehow it came up what kind of guys I've dated. He asked if I've dated outside of my race. (I'm white.) I did hook up with a black guy years ago, and I find black men attractive. Although I predominantly date white guys. I told him the truth about this situation. Almost instantly he said he had to get off the phone. I knew it was because he didn't like my answer. He texted me later and told me that the "black thing wasn't his cup of tea," to which I responded that although I respected his opinion I didn't understand why it was a big deal. Is this prejudice on his part? I feel like it is. Then a few minutes later he texted, "Good night." What the hell? I don't know if dating a guy like that is a good idea.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 I thought so. I was pissed when I got off the phone.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 You are right. Completely.
OceanTropic Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 If he can't accept you for who you are, and can't respect your decisions, then don't even waste your time. Next!
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Thanks for your thoughts. I tend to date mostly white dudes....but if I fell in love with a black, white, mexican, purple man....that's most important. we do have preferences but to be judged on the basis of something that occurred in the past is lame to me.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 It would be like me judging a person because they did drugs 20 years ago.
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 It would be like me judging a person because they did drugs 20 years ago. Are you saying dating a black guy in the past is like being on drugs?
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Are you saying dating a black guy in the past is like being on drugs? One of the slang terms for heroin is "brown sugar."
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I do the online dating thing from time to time. So last night this guy and I were emailing each other and he seemed cool. We exchanged numbers and he was texting me last night and called me today. We're chatting on the phone and he asked me as we're talking about dating experiences. Somehow it came up what kind of guys I've dated. He asked if I've dated outside of my race. (I'm white.) I did hook up with a black guy years ago, and I find black men attractive. Although I predominantly date white guys. I told him the truth about this situation. Almost instantly he said he had to get off the phone. I knew it was because he didn't like my answer. He texted me later and told me that the "black thing wasn't his cup of tea," to which I responded that although I respected his opinion I didn't understand why it was a big deal. Is this prejudice on his part? I feel like it is. Then a few minutes later he texted, "Good night." What the hell? I don't know if dating a guy like that is a good idea. Yeah that is damn sure racist! I'm black and i dont find what you said to be hurtful. I dont know why he took it so hard. just because you said you dated a black guy, he had issues with it, that was his problem. good riddance because that kind of narrow minded rascism isnt good. I could understand if you dated women before and now you date guys. but damn a black man is a man nonetheless, just like him. He let his insecurities show. And what the hell does it mean he doesnt do the black thing??? WTF?
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Oh no no. He had just mentioned that he had done drugs years ago. If I had judged him on it I think it would be superficial. That's all. It would be like being on drugs if he was a sweetheart, the endorphins would give me a natural high;)
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 I know, right. I thought it was closed minded myself. Everyone is entitled to what they like but to judge is what I have an issue with.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Wow, this guy reminds me of an ex of mine. I swear he asked me if I ever dated/kissed/anything with any other race at least once a week. After a few weeks of that, he started talking about how it was against God's will for people to date outside their race, and then started bad mouthing a girl he used to sleep with casually who was now in a very committed long term relationship with a black guy. It just kept going downhill from there. Then he started in on the Mexicans! Sheesh! This made the entire relationship quite awkward since one of my BFFs is African and one is Mexican. He grossly misjudged me if he thought I shared the same views he did. I wish I would have picked up on it and gotten out sooner. This guy sounds like a loser. Delete his number and move on!
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Yah, I would agree. I don't understand the insecurity?? Who cares what color of person I date? Everyone has a past and regardless of what someone has done short of a federal crime I don't see the big deal.
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 A lot of people don't like blacks, something I have to deal with every now and then. Racism is far from dead in this country.
Steve_555 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Yah, I would agree. I don't understand the insecurity?? Who cares what color of person I date? Everyone has a past and regardless of what someone has done short of a federal crime I don't see the big deal. What makes you assume that the guy was necessarily "insecure?" I bet that this guy wouldn't have had a problem if you had only hooked up with an Asian or Mexican guy. However, most white guys I know would not want to have a relationship with a girl who dates black guys because they think she is dirty, has no standards, and is likely to sleep around. I'm not saying that you are dirty, but that is what a lot of guys will think. I am actually very surprised that you have not come across this mentality before.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Unfortunately I have; my parents are like that. We didn't get into other races, he stopped in his tracks when I told him that. It's too bad that guys would think that way!
Simon Attwood Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 He texted me later and told me that the "black thing wasn't his cup of tea," What "black thing"? How's "black thing" come in to it when it was something from your past? It's not like sleeping with you might mean that he would be infected with blackness. Did you suggest that he should try black cock for himself? Definitely prejudice!! He possibly also believes the myth about black men and is worried about measuring up
Bejita463 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Racism is far from dead in this country. Does ignorance ever truly die?
temple Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 This is absurd. To have a preference over who you date yourself is fine, but to enforce that on your SO? What an oddball.
randall Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) I don't think you even needed to ask whether it was prejudice or preference. The guy is a racist nutbag. Edited January 20, 2010 by randall
grogster Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Better to find this out now than a year into the relationship. He's probably both insecure and racist, which is not attractive.
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