pyreneesbound Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 We been together for 4 1/2 years. I met him when he was separated and one year later he got divorced. I know from my experience divorce can be a difficult time, so we took it slow and easy. His relationship with his ex was initially very acrimonious, but about a year later things settled down. They have a son , so they would meet up together and I trusted him and had no real problems if he had to meet with her. Two years ago around Thanksgiving, his 20 year old son had to have some minor surgery and was staying at his place his ex came over to help him look after their son and they spent Thanksgiving together. Soon after he started acting strange me and said he was confused and had second thoughts about our relationship because he still had feelings for her…I was hurt but I told him if that was the case, then we had to break up and he had to figure what his heart told him. A month later he returns and says he can’t live without me, he seemed to go the extra mile and be really nice with me and kept talking of wanting to settle down and have a family…three months later I caught him trying to go for a weekend with her. Turns out, the relationship had been going on since Xmas, but she was perfectly fine to be the “other woman”, I know this because, I was going out socially with him and all his friends, his family functions etc, she was no where in the picture during this time, everyone thought we were a couple and the ex was never mentioned…I was devastated. He was very adamant that he loved me, and this thing with his ex was not a big deal. I didn't believe it and I walked out. He came back one year ago and says he realized he missed me and loved me very much and that it would never work out with his ex, and apologized, I was weary but to be honest I missed him so much, I tried to go on with my life and in essence I did, but I knew it was hard to find someone that matched him intellectually physically and emotionally, we were passionate people. 6 months ago, he decided to move to close to where I was , he bought a place ..with everything that happened before we held off moving in together, but for all practical purposes we were together most of the time 4-5 times a week including the weekends, we took trips together…traveled abroad etc. Before he lived in another town, with the ex just a few blocks away from him I took it as a positive sign that everything was going well, renovating his new place etc…we were figuring out plans for Xmas and New Year holidays …then out of the blue in December he tells me he wants to break up, because now his ex is going ape **** because he is moving close to me and will have nothing to do with him, unless he breaks up with me..so he has decided he doesn’t want to deal with either of us….obviously something was going on. Anyway yes I finally did smell the coffee…I am a pretty calm person, even before I never really lost it with him…but I don’t know that day…it was like all that pent up anger just came out I went to the fridge got all the eggs and just threw it at him, one missed otherwise the rest found it’s mark and I walked out. I haven’t spoken or seen him since (3 months), nor do I wish too, there is nothing to say, res ipsa loquiter…but I feel so stupid for resorting to such immature behavior at my age (39). I don’t want to analyze the relationship..it’s over, but I can’t get over how I could have lost it so badly, I think part of me wanted to do something in my mind that would put an end to the back and forth, I couldn’t get physical on him and so I resorted to throwing eggs, undignified….but what’s done is done, anyone regret their manner of break up?
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