QueenOfFools Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I've met this guy some time ago. Chemistry is strong, but I'm few years older than him, so I didn't consider relationship at all, I decided it all to be just sex, and told him I'm not a relationship-y kind of girl, which is not entirely true, but not very untrue either. But... since we weren't romantically, but just sexually involved, we kinda figured out we can be completely open and truthful, and we shared a lot of private info with each other without any fear or dressing up facts. And, as it goes, I think I really like him. We're having awesome time together, I can't wait to see him, and we do meet for lunch and drinks, not just sex. He is gentle, and caring, and treats me really nice, and he told me few times I'm really cool. We talk a lot online and in real life, and his friends know about me. So yeah, what do I do now? I don't want to end up in love with my friend with benefits and not say anything but suffer in silence, but I'm also afraid he is like this only because we're not dating, and that he wouldn't feel as comfortable with me if we were dating. What are the chances of him entering the relationship with me after having (awesome) sex with no strings attached?
Stung Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 You'll never know until you try. Talk to him. The only alternatives are continue as you are and suffer in silence, which you have already identified as being an undesirable outcome, or breaking it off and always wondering 'What if...'
GAchasen Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 When you entered into this FWB thing, did he want more at first? And since you stated you weren't interested in a more serious relationship, he decided to not pursue it? Just wondering....How long has this been going on?
Author QueenOfFools Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 When you entered into this FWB thing, did he want more at first? And since you stated you weren't interested in a more serious relationship, he decided to not pursue it? Just wondering....How long has this been going on? I don't know if he wanted more or not. He never said that he did, he only agreed to my terms. This is going on for 2 months, but it's very intensive, we spend a lot of time together and even when we're not together we talk on the phone, text or chat on MSN. I don't think i've spend this much time alltogether with some people that I dated for a year. Nor shared so much of myself.
jipster360 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Just talk to him about it be honest! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2575877/asking_your_man_to_clean_up_tips_and.html
counterman Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 That's the FWB, one of you, or both, might develop feelings that is in sync with being close to one another. Definitely talk to him about it and see how he feels. It really depends when you hit a rough patch in your relationship (with strings attached), how he reacts to see if you can truly have this relationship.
Satisfaction Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Talk to him. You could just bring it up gently or indirectly and see how he takes it.
GAchasen Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I don't know if he wanted more or not. He never said that he did, he only agreed to my terms. This is going on for 2 months, but it's very intensive, we spend a lot of time together and even when we're not together we talk on the phone, text or chat on MSN. I don't think i've spend this much time alltogether with some people that I dated for a year. Nor shared so much of myself. I agree with the rest on here. Bring it up to him and see where he stands. It's still fairly early and he may want the same thing you want. Who knows...
Lillypetal Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Well its quite clear that ... texting, chatting all the time phoning and him being really caring... is very much more than just sex. It sounds like you are both very much emotionally involved even though you may not have meaningfully done this. Lay your cards on the table ...better than telling him in the long run when you have really fallen and may be heartbroken at least confronting him now your less likely to be hurt if he doesnt feel the same way.
Author QueenOfFools Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 i still haven't gotten the courage to discuss all this, but i've received many positive signs since my last post and i dare say he cares at least a little bit. he told me the other day that he is so happy he has met me. I've given myself till the end of the week to close this subject, so i'll let you know what did he say.
Itzo Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I've met this guy some time ago. Chemistry is strong, but I'm few years older than him, so I didn't consider relationship at all, I decided it all to be just sex, and told him I'm not a relationship-y kind of girl, which is not entirely true, but not very untrue either. But... since we weren't romantically, but just sexually involved, we kinda figured out we can be completely open and truthful, and we shared a lot of private info with each other without any fear or dressing up facts. And, as it goes, I think I really like him. We're having awesome time together, I can't wait to see him, and we do meet for lunch and drinks, not just sex. He is gentle, and caring, and treats me really nice, and he told me few times I'm really cool. We talk a lot online and in real life, and his friends know about me. So yeah, what do I do now? I don't want to end up in love with my friend with benefits and not say anything but suffer in silence, but I'm also afraid he is like this only because we're not dating, and that he wouldn't feel as comfortable with me if we were dating. What are the chances of him entering the relationship with me after having (awesome) sex with no strings attached? This is the best scenario for men. I mean sex first .... and if things have gone well, then you may enter into a relationship. I think it is 100% possible to be in a relationship with that guy. It is best interest for guys to have sex first, and then figure out if he needs to enter into a relationship with that woman or not. Since you are a woman, I do not know ... ask him, if he wants a relationship & you changed your mind, because you have a great time together, not just sex, you know.
Author QueenOfFools Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 settled... i have a boyfriend now
OceanTropic Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Let it happen naturally. You guys are already going out for lunch and drinks, when it only just started as sex, so its progress right? Just keep the pace at which its going. If the right time comes up, jokingly call him your boyfriend. "Haha cuz you're my boyfriend right?" Sarcastically. See how he reacts. He might laugh with you, or he might say something cute like "Why, would that be a problem?"
calizaggy Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 In my opinion, these situations are rather sad.. He is with you for sex.. He likes to continue the sex, so he says anything..He might even think he likes you for more, but inside he doesn't. You also try to fool yourself into believing you are happy with "just sex", but you are not.. You are using sex to get more, and in the end you will just be dissapointed. The 2 of you are most likely not a match at all except for some easy sex, but desperately you are trying to turn it into more.
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