ilikegirls Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 i dont really know how i know, but i my GF and her Ex began to talk to each other again after like 2-3 months -this kinda bothered me but i figured she can talk to how ever she wants then oneday she left her phone at my house, i am not proud, but i looked through it. she had a lot of recent texts back and forth with him flirty texts i remember one was saying "he would never know" i dont know what they talking about but its scaring me.. and there are a few hearts sent here and there. and the scary part is that about year ago they broke up, then i started talking to her. for about 5ish months trying to make her my gf, but not really actively more like we talked & hungout all the time, ppl thought we was dating. then one day he said sorry and wanted her back, so she left me... even though we wasnt actually anyhting. i stopped talking to her then they broke up again in like september. & in like oct she contacted me saying she sorry blah blah.. i started talking to her again, then we became official in december(she asked me) they went out for like a year then stopped for like 6months then another 3 months. almost every night we talk about how good we are together and how it feels like we have been together for years, all the mems together. & how we blesses to have eachother. etc etc idk what to do
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Maybe you can avoid telling her you snooped by saying, " I know you broke up with Dick once before and then you reconciled. Should I be concerned that could happen again?" Follow up with "Have you heard from Dick?" Her responses should be very revealing. The fact that she went back to him and after a second break up is willing to talk to him in a friendly manner does not bode well for you. The fact that you let her come back to you may very well have convinced her she can indefinitely play ping pong between the two of you. She doesn't have to choose. Do Not Let A Woman Treat You This Way Ever!
OceanTropic Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Uhh ohhhhhhhhh Look. There is nothing wrong with keeping touch with exes. After all, they had things in common, thats why they dated. I genuinely believe exes can be friends. BUT The fact that she said "He would never know" is BAD. I mean, if she was sincerely just being friendly, and catching up, she wouldn't need to hide anything from you (unless you're a psyho jealous maniac who beats up any guy she talks to). "He would never know" means "he won't react". What does that tell you? I would confront her about it. P.S How do you know they were texting back and forth? Did she tell you they were talking again? Or did you find this out by looking thru her phone?
Author ilikegirls Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 ^^my bad dude, the ex told her "that he would never know" i don't remember her response, or even if there was one anyways I just had a weird gut feeling, like a week before i saw her phone also she is always talking about our future together.. And how she is excited for it
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Dump her. She shouldn't be texting with exes at all while dating exclusively, let alone in a flirty way. Find a woman of higher quality, don't waste time with the duds.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 yes, you need to ask her about this. If she is flirting with him, that's very disrespectful towards you and it needs to be addressed. You guys need to set boundaries within your relationship about what is acceptable and what is not. In my relationship, my bf was very upfront with me that he is still friends with his ex's, and that some of them still hang out in his circle of friends. He told me the last girl he dated had a huge problem with this, and wanted to know how I felt. My boundary, was....well, you guys broke up for a reason, and obviously you don't want to be together, but don't tell me who they are. That's our boundary. I get to bop along blissfully unaware of who he dated, and then I don't get uncomfortable or feel weird with his friends. This was important to me because he takes me everywhere he goes with his friends. Find the boundaries that work for you and your girl and talk about them.
Author ilikegirls Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 so i asked her about it and this is what she told me: i had a feeling you were gonna ask about this. i'm gonna be honest, we're talking again cuz there's no reason for us not to be, especially since we most likely won't see each other after high school. but it's nothing you should dwell over. friends is all i am with him. my old feelings for him are dead and gone. i know you're probably hearing other stuff, stuff you don't wanna hear. cuz i'm hearing that and so much more too. but i'm telling you heart to heart, there's nothing to worry about whatsoever. then i mention about her leaving me last time they started talking & she told me that what she did was low, and she learned from it. and she doesnt want any of this to get with me. ----- i hate how they are talking again though... but i dont wanna seem controlling or anything but it makes me feel so uncomfortable. like today.. i saw her from the far so a sped up to talk to her, but as i got closer i saw them walking together, and i didnt know what to do i felt so awkward and just stayed back i dont know what to do
OnlyJake Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Just say no ilikegirls! What she's doing is not OK!
boogieboy Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Dump her now. She will NEVER tell you that she is thinking about getting back with him or if she still has feelings for him. She knows that will not go over well with you. Can you imagine it? "I know that you see me talking to him, and I still have feelings about him, and I'm not sure I feel the same way about you anymore, so I've been looking to see if it will work out with my ex, I hope you understand. Can you stay with me until I decide to dump you?" This is how she really feels but wont tell you. I think since she is keeping you at bay, you should start talking to new girls and start to forget about her. Your biggest mistake was trying to get with her when she was fresh off her ex. You were her rebound, and it didnt work. Leave her now.
aroll32 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Listen man, it's not going to be easy, and I don't want to have to say this, but you need to get out. Like, now. If she got back together with her ex, then broke up with him, then went back to you, she is basically just using you as a fall back. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you or anything, it just means she knows youre going to be there to fall back on. And from personal experience, you don't want that. AT ALL. It's only going to make you feel worse about yourself. You may feel good for the time being, but eventually it's gonna hit you. I don't like to have to say these things but it's what's best for you. I am more or less going through the same thing. Girl likes me, wants to see other guys. Says she wants to talk and hangout, but never calls etc. etc. It's all BS you don't need. Seriously, put some thought into it, talk to her about it, then make up your mind. It aint gonna be easy, but you have to do it. Or else you're going to burned.
aroll32 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 so i asked her about it and this is what she told me: then i mention about her leaving me last time they started talking & she told me that what she did was low, and she learned from it. and she doesnt want any of this to get with me. ----- i hate how they are talking again though... but i dont wanna seem controlling or anything but it makes me feel so uncomfortable. like today.. i saw her from the far so a sped up to talk to her, but as i got closer i saw them walking together, and i didnt know what to do i felt so awkward and just stayed back i dont know what to do Wow, I just read this. This isn't good man. She may say she has learned from it, but trust me, things never change. The only thing that changes is the girls mind. She could very well think she doesn't have feelings for that guy, but then, it may come back to her when she sees him or something. This isn't a good situation, and you should back out. If she wants to be with you, show her she has to earn it. Try not talking to her or making contact for a day or two. I am not saying completely ignore her, but wait for her to contact you. Because if she REALLY wants to be with you, she will call, text, etc. And if she keeps talking to her ex, that's really not good either. I don't mean they should completely stop talking, but they definitely shouldn't be texting more the once a week. If they do, that's bad. You need to get out though bud, this probably won't end up good for you. But really, go with your instinct. If you "know" or "sense" that she is still talking to her ex and has feelings, that's a sure sign right there. Your instincts are more often than not right
D-Lish Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 If she learned anything from it, she wouldn't be talking to him again.
Author ilikegirls Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 ok so later on she asked me what was wrong, cuz she said i was acting different. i told her everything.. about how i saw her today & how it made feel uncomfortable etc she told me she was sorry, she didnt know i felt like this etc. & she will end their friendship completely, because i am more important to her and she doesn't want me to feel like this etc etc
aroll32 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I am glad you did that and what she said seems to be true. Just see what happens. What she did showed you that she definitely doesn't have feelings for her ex anymore. Seems like you guys should get along better now. It was a great thing to confront her about it, because the way she dealt with it shows that she is into you and doesn't want to lose you. Just be careful though, women are mysterious
D-Lish Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I am glad you did that and what she said seems to be true. What exactly makes you think that? I'd proceed with caution- She's screwed you over before with this guy. Words are easy- keep an eye on her actions and follow-through.
aroll32 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 What exactly makes you think that? I'd proceed with caution- She's screwed you over before with this guy. Words are easy- keep an eye on her actions and follow-through. Notice the word "seem." At the end of my post I said to be careful. I 100% agree with you DLish. I just said it seems to be true, but then again, I have been lied to before just like that. So yes, take D-Lish advice. Don't invest too much yet. Don't jump into what you think is going to be a relationship. Women always say things they don't exactly mean. So again, see what happens. But don't look too much into this, because if you do, you're only going to get hurt. But for now, it looks like it should be getting better between yall
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