kristinabopp Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 ok, so if you dont know my story just look it up in my thread. but if u dont, its ok. i just need to vent this out. i woke up this morning AGAIN like EVERYDAY SINGLE DAY/MINUTE feeling so sad/depressed/lonely/mad/furiouse etcetc. i just miss my ex sooooo bad! i get so mad and jealous when i think of him being with someone else. *which i dont know if ever he got a new one already or not because im on STRICT NC, and i havent heard from him since!* its almost 3-4weeks of NC and he didnt call/msg! i was the first girl in his life. i mean we were each others first gf/bf/everything. im just sooo freakin depressed and i cant really stop not to think bout him. i cant stop crying like everyday! and im tired of this feeling! i love him so much! and i miss him so bad! i want him to come back really bad but im scared! i mean, i dont even know if he will come back or not. just saying that what if he does. all i know is that if he doesnt come back, im scared that i wont be able to love someone like him anymore! i only want him and no one else.! weve been dating for 1yr and 2months and we lived together.! he broke up with me online btw. on yahoo messenger.. its all my fault why he left me! i think or know that im verbally abusive to him! and we always fight and i controlled it anyways coz he told me he doesnt like me and him fighting. and i did, i controlled being mad because i dont like fighting with him either. aahh!!! i feel like its all my fault why he doesnt love me anymore! :mad::mad: he even asked me to marry him many times and i said yes! but really? he just left me the next day after promising so many stuff to me the day beforee?!! aaarrrgghhhh! im soo freaking saaad! hate this!!! i miss hiiim!
TheMastaPlan Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 who broke up with who? if you broke up with him you should contact him first and be like "hey saw this blank(somethign u guys know reminds one another of each other), thinking of you" keep it short and simple...if he broke up wiht you you need to wait for him to get at you, when he does do NOT reply right away, leave it for a few hours, maybe a day, HOLD YORUSELF BACK, keep things short and simple. most importantly do things that keeop him off your mind, trust me i know how hard it is ive been broken up with my ex for a little over a month now, go out, get a hair cut, buy some clothes, meet new people, AS HARD AS IT MAY BE, do things with different people for a change, if someones says hey lets go the the bar or club and you dont feel like it, JUST DO IT - i find on teh nights i dont feel like or plan on doing anything and someoens asks me and im liek what the heck i have the best of nights....try to stay positive and DO NOT PUT YORUSELF ON HOLD youll just be more hurt in the end...good luck
Howitzer Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I'm really sorry that you're going through this now. It happens to all of us. You're not alone in your pain. The good thing is that we all get past this, sooner or later. When you wake up, is the first thing you think of him? :-/ It sucks. It'll go away with time. +1 to staying active. It does wonders, and you'll end up feeling better afterwards. Stick around people, especially those you haven't really been able to keep up with because of your relationship. I'm really grateful to all my friends for keeping my company when I was really down. I assume that you've been broken up for about a month now? So you're feeling really emotional, depressed, etc...I'd recommend taking a break from thinking about things from time to time. I know it's hard to do that, but it's alright to just put your sad emotions aside, and take a breather. Everyone needs some small happiness to recharge themselves.
Author kristinabopp Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 THEMASTAPLAN he broke up with me this last dec.24. *worst christmas ever.* i tried doing things but its hard i did everything that i can to not think of him, but my mind or my heart just wont stop it.its been almost 1month of break up. im doing NC well, because he blocked me all in facebook/msn/yahoo messenger. so i cant do anything coz even if i contact him he wont reply. he said he wont talk to me not for the next 6months. so yea, im in NC. *i doubt he will contact me ever again. i doubt that he will ever come back coz i fcked up already, he is just to loyal to his family.* i doubt everything. he just threw away our relationship that fast. *he like beg me not to leave him and ask me to marry him many times and told me he will marry me as soon as he gets here and told me he cant live w/out me AND THEN THE NEXT DAY HE BROKE UP W/ ME. how weird is that? im losing hope that he will come back to me.. all i can do right now is process all my school stuff work for a lil bit to save money and then go back to washington dc to go to school. *BUT I PROMISED MYSELF THAT WHEN I GO BACK IN DC, I WILL NOT LET MYSELF SEE HIM OR HIM SEE ME.*
Author kristinabopp Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 HOWITZER I know it sucks big time because its making me not wanna live anymore knowing that the love of my life is not with me. I cant see my future without him.when im with him i feel so HAPPY and LOVE. idk, hes always in my mind even if im not thinking of anything. IT HURTS IN THE CHEST AS WELL EVERYTIME HE POPS OUT OF MY MIND *U KNOW THAT FEELING?LIKE WHEN U GET REALLY SAD, UR CHEST/HEART HURTS.* ive never been like this before, we were each others first gf/bf/everything. he is my bestfriend/everything. we were so close to each other and know each other from inside and out. i gave everything to him, i left my family for him, i quit my job for him, i did all the sacrifice. right now here in california, i have NO FRIENDS at all! thats why it made me feel so depressed knowing all my friends are in asia and in dc. i dont have a big family *since they are all in diff. state* and my mom is telling me that i should have never came back here. and I REGRET coming back here as well. everything sucks right now. only thing that can cheer me up is this LS. because at least im not alone but it sucks that we have to suffer this feeling. its like LS is my new diary.
Howitzer Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 To put it bluntly, you may have made some decisions that you regret now. Whatever. That's life. I'm sure you'll learn from it. Kristinabopp, I know you feel like there's no future. I too felt like that about a month ago. However, it's all because the future you imagined is no longer there. You can still have a happy future, but you have to accept that it will be different. Have you tried going out and doing things? Joining a gym, finding new roommates, whatever. I left school because of stress, and came back to my hometown feeling like I knew no one anymore. It's turned out pretty good though, because I found some new roommates to live with, through craigslist.
Author kristinabopp Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 I wish i could do that, but seriously, here in our place you cant go out without a car. its like an empty city. the transportation is so hard. the only thing i can do is be here in the laptop look for jobs and process my college stuff and financial aid/loan. and wait until Fall to go back to dc. omg when im in dc, i feel so free. but when im here i feel trap. this place is so boring. while in dc everything is easy. you can go anywhere u want and i like that. i have no friends at all. i have to get a job here and then save up. im living with my mom and 2brothers. which is more hard, because right now my mom is like telling me that i should not have came back because im just giving her more problems. blablabla. cant wait to go to college!
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