New Again Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I broke up with my b/f recently, but I've been struggling with it. I've been having a hard time sleeping, and have been thinking about our relationship a lot. I've been thinking back and trying to determine if there were red flags or other signs I should've seen earlier on in our relationship. I decided to forget about looking for signs, but I did pinpoint the exact moment I should have dumped him. This particular event, in combination with everything I knew about my b/f at that point was more than enough reason to say goodbye with no second chances or trying to work it out. This is what happened (sorry, it's not short). B/f went away for 2 weeks and asked me to feed his cat for him while he was away. A few days before he was supposed to leave he told me I didn't have to feed his pet, that he was going to find a friend to drop her off with instead, so I wouldn't have to go out of my way. Literally on the day he left he supposedly still hadn't found anyone to take his cat, and finding someone to drop her off with was on his "to do" list - I told him if it was a hassle I still would love to help him out by just coming over and taking care of things while he was gone. He said no. B/f goes off on his vacation for 2 weeks. He gets back in the morning, and wants me to come over, but he keeps putting it off and putting it off, saying he had things to do. Finally he says "Come over!"; I get there at 9 or 10pm and he's sleeping on the couch and wants to go to bed. The next morning we talk about his trip, etc. No word about his cat (who I hadn't seen up to that point, so I assumed he did what he said and dropped her off somewhere). Finally, that afternoon we're in his kitchen - he's feeding the cat - and I see a bottle of opened margarita mix on the counter. (B/f would n-e-v-e-r have that in his house unless someone else brought it and was drinking it.) All I said was that he should throw it away if it had been opened and sitting out for awhile. At this point he says "Oh XXXX must've left that here when she housesat for me." XXXX being his ex-g/f. Now, any self-respecting human being would've flipped her **** over that, right??? But what do I do? Very casually: "Oh, is that why your house is so clean?" His response, "Oh XXXX hired a maid to come clean, didn't she do a great job?" Cool, calm, "LAIDBACK" () me doesn't say another word about it. (Seriously, WTF was wrong with me??!!) We go out that night with my friends and crash at my place. The following morning he says he wants to get together again that night. I agree...but then a little bit later he gets a text message; he responds to the text and then maybe 15 minutes later tells me that he actually thinks he has a bunch of stuff to do and maybe we shouldn't hang out that night. I don't think anything of it, thinking that's reasonable since he's been gone for 2 weeks, spent most of the weekend with me, and will be going back to work the following day. That night, he starts texting me and we end up texting back and forth; he says that he should've had me come over after all. Later, I get online, and find out that he took XXXX to a really expensive, fancy restaurant as a "thank you" for housesitting (she posted something about it on a public place that I had access to). The worst part is that when I confronted him about it he said that he hadn't done anything wrong, and didn't think I was the kind of person to get mad over someone doing something nice for someone else. Jesus H. Christ. How ****ed up s that?? How ****ed up was I for not dumping him on the spot?
TaraMaiden Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Well, "Master of my Fate, and Captain of my soul"....Looks like you handed the ship's helm over to somebody else, and now you're wondering why you ran aground......
Author New Again Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 (edited) Well, "Master of my Fate, and Captain of my soul"....Looks like you handed the ship's helm over to somebody else, and now you're wondering why you ran aground...... I know. I'm so disgusted with myself. All I can think is WTF New Again? What is wrong with you? There's about a half dozen places there that I should have responded differently than I did, and it should have resulted in a break up, rather than me flipping out and us "working it out." I'm not exactly wondering why I ran aground. The incident I wrote about above wasn't really typical behavior. And he wasn't a cheater. It was more just his selfish, self-absorbed, self-centered attitude that I should have picked up on and been done with. Edited January 19, 2010 by New Again
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