sumdude Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 If you want an FWB situation, I suggest you find one with a guy who is truly fine with it just being FWB. I'm sure it's not hard to find a man who really does just want to hang out a bit and have sex. Yeah, shouldn't be a problem.... until you develop feelings for him instead.
sagetalk Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Never date people you don't like just to feed your ego or satisfy sexual desire. Especially if you know the other person wants a relationship. So, yes you are being lame.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Unless you have told him exactly what you said in this post, you haven't been as honest as you think. I don't think I've ever met a man who would continue to be involved with someone who told them "I don't even really like you." Possible....but very sad.
Author OceanTropic Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 What you are looking for is basically a relationship that is based mainly/only on sex (FWB) where both of you are exclusive, meaning you don't have sex with other people. Is that correct? I don't care if he sleeps with other women, but I would primarily stick to him, simply because I couldn't get laid otherwise (in my own standards I mean).
callingyouuu Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Have you ever seen the movie 500 Days of Summer? The relationship in that movie starts off almost exactly like this. Girl doesn't want serious relationship, guy pretends to follow along while actually hoping that it will grow into something more. It also doesn't end very well for the guy... almost tragically.
callingyouuu Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Or am I overestimating his intelligence? Quite frankly, yes.
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Ocean, you're basically a hair's breadth away from leaving $200 on his bedside table when you go home..... That's how involved you are with him. Find a gigolo who you can pay, and would at least get something in return, because this guy's doing all the giving, and getting nothing back. or - leave $200 for him, next time you go home. That should get through to him....
Chicago_Guy Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Hmm you're right. I wasn't BLUNT about it. I didn't say "Look I'm bored, you're hot, I just want sex". I beat around the bush in a way. "I don't want anything serious, I am not looking for a relationship". You guys are right... BUT... Having said this, isn't he supposed to CLUE in? Like "Hmm she doesn't want a relationship, then what is she doing with me? Must be the sex!!" Or am I overestimating his intelligence? If he has never met a woman who only wanted him for sex, he might think you are being coy, playing a game, or even blowing him off if you say the you aren't looking for anything serious and don't want a relationship. I think you need to tell him, "Look I'm bored, you're hot, I just want sex".
Stockalone Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) I don't care if he sleeps with other women, but I would primarily stick to him, simply because I couldn't get laid otherwise (in my own standards I mean). In that case, you should have no problem finding a guy. Plenty of men would be okay with such an arrangement. However, I don't think the current guy wants to be just a booty call. Talk to him, be honest and let him know that this is only sex, not a relationship and that it also won't turn into a relationship in the future because you don't think he is relationship material. That should tell him what you think of him. Edited January 20, 2010 by Stockalone
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I don't think he understands that you really are just using him for fun and games. He's providing you with sex and entertainment, thinking you'll eventually want more. Unless both people are on a CLEAR understanding it's nothing more then a FWB, it's not cool. He wants more and you don't. He is trying to make that happen even though it wont.
boogieboy Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I beat around the bush in a way. "I don't want anything serious, I am not looking for a relationship". You guys are right... BUT... Having said this, isn't he supposed to CLUE in? Like "Hmm she doesn't want a relationship, then what is she doing with me? Must be the sex!!" Or am I overestimating his intelligence? You beat around the bush because you thought you'd lose your lay, so since you did it this way, why would he try to think of the worst case scenario? Maybe you havent read around this board enough, but people are constantly asking why someone says to them "im not ready for a serious relationship", and we see how obvious that is. So he definitelya lil naive, maybe. So you have to risk taking the loss, and tell him straight up.
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