Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 So when does my ex come back to me? haha! Encouragement is indeed a two-way street. :laugh:Ok...Rob here's the scenario. Your ex has already unblocked you from FB...her friend has mentioned her...she's slowly testing the waters. When you least expect it, you log on and there it is...THE MESSAGE. She says "How are you?" What do you say? She says "I miss you." What do you say? (btw, despite what you think...something like this will eventually happen (I know you're tired of people saying that but...it's inevitable--especially if you're as great a person as you seem to be:)). Do you really want her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 You mean like when I spoke to my ex briefly after the breakup and he said, "We're a great couple," but didn't want to get back together? Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. EXACTLY Sedgwick. That's exactly what I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 haha! Encouragement is indeed a two-way street. :laugh:Ok...Rob here's the scenario. Your ex has already unblocked you from FB...her friend has mentioned her...she's slowly testing the waters. When you least expect it, you log on and there it is...THE MESSAGE. She says "How are you?" What do you say? She says "I miss you." What do you say? (btw, despite what you think...something like this will eventually happen (I know you're tired of people saying that but...it's inevitable--especially if you're as great a person as you seem to be:)). Do you really want her back? I blocked her on FB though... that probably pushed her away again LOL Do I want her? Her body... YES. Her face.. she was attractive. Her personality was so fake. her ideologies... she ****ing lied to me. Telling me she grew up keeping the sabbath... she's such a fake person... she used to party with lindsay lohan. drugs and alcohol... I don't know why I miss her. I wouldn't mind meeting a girl like you.. or a few others on these boards. *le sigh* thanks hun Link to post Share on other sites
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 Ok now I'm sitting here at work bawling my eyes out. I got word yesterday that I've been accepted to a law school with a full tuition scholarship...can't even enjoy it. I reactivated my FB to post about it and then went and looked at his FB page...WHY?? He is moving on without me...he's never coming back. I feel like such an idiot because he seems so happy with his fraternity stuff now that he doesn't have me to worry about anymore...that's a shame...my boyfriend was stolen away by his dedication to a fraternity. I hate life right now. I'll probably never hear from his no-phone having a** again. FML. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Ok now I'm sitting here at work bawling my eyes out. I got word yesterday that I've been accepted to a law school with a full tuition scholarship...can't even enjoy it. I reactivated my FB to post about it and then went and looked at his FB page...WHY?? He is moving on without me...he's never coming back. I feel like such an idiot because he seems so happy with his fraternity stuff now that he doesn't have me to worry about anymore...that's a shame...my boyfriend was stolen away by his dedication to a fraternity. I hate life right now. I'll probably never hear from his no-phone having a** again. FML. Congrats on law school and the scholarship! That's fantastic news...even though it doesn't feel like it...and then you end your post with a little FML action...seriously...?! Screw that. Do you know how few people actually make it all the way to law school, no less with a scholarship? I know it's tough after a breakup in that you're only looking to the negative, but the first step to getting better is to look at all the positive aspects of your life and realize: "Damn, my life is actually pretty awesome, and I'm one hell of a catch!" If this guy doesn't want to make you at least some sort of priority in his life, then it's not someone you want to be with... Don't worry, it'll get better...and kick ass in law school! Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Ok now I'm sitting here at work bawling my eyes out. I got word yesterday that I've been accepted to a law school with a full tuition scholarship...can't even enjoy it. I reactivated my FB to post about it and then went and looked at his FB page...WHY?? He is moving on without me...he's never coming back. I feel like such an idiot because he seems so happy with his fraternity stuff now that he doesn't have me to worry about anymore...that's a shame...my boyfriend was stolen away by his dedication to a fraternity. I hate life right now. I'll probably never hear from his no-phone having a** again. FML. MSG - realize you're so much better off. I am a Phi Delta Theta (greek)... but no longer associated. I am not proud of it... Sorry. I believe you mentioned somewhere you were a sorority sister? Anyhow, be strong! Remember what I said... He pulled away abruptly leaving a clear void within you. It's going to feel painful, emotionally, at first. Then comes a clear and unwanted numbness to the pain... it'll temporarily dull your senses.... as you're filling this void with POSITIVE influences and rebuilding you. Love you... concentrate on you to become a BETTER you so that when a better guy comes around, you won't subconsciously shut him down... but rather, love the living **** out of him and he will love you the same way back. These ups and downs will come & go... I wish there were something I could do to change that. You don't deserve them. I'm just about 3 months POST-Break up and I have them from time to time... (if you read ANY of my recent posts.. I'm clearly UP & DOWN @ ME.) Concentrate. Work. Be. Live. He had temporarily filled that void (you're not being there)... but I promise you... that will only last so long. He was with YOU for a reason, and that reason is blinded by his pain, which is blinded by the negative void influence he has in his life to fill that empty spot in him that you were. It's only temporary... almost as if he ate a lot of rice, beans, and cabbage... you bloat until your rip a huge fart. He'll have a heart fart soon enough and you know what? That 'feeling' he has now... will be gone. And that emptiness will point in your direction. He will grow tiresome of the 'now'... he will become heartsick, like you... like me... The only difference is, you are a better person by this point. You pretend to forget him so that eventually, you will forget him. You will be stronger. It is through life's painful experiences we learn to cope and rebuild ourselves stronger. Like the human body.. (I'm a physiologist)... when you tear a muscle... a ligament.. a tendon... or fracture/break a bone... immediately, there is pain. There is microscopic and macroscopic damage. What happens? The site of injury becomes discolored (typically perfusion of blood/bodily fluids from one tissue to another)... the SOI (site of injury) swells like a natural splint... the body's immuno response sends leukocytes, thrombocytes and macrophages... (white blood cells, platelets, and debris eating/clearing cells) to 'clear the area' and begin the reparations... and the bone calcifies via an influx of osteoclasts ( I believe... osteoblasts break down bone)... the mone mineralizes... the satellite cells (glue like undifferentiated muscle cells) bond to the microscopic myofibril tears and thicken/strengthen binding the fiber during protein metabolism and translation of proteins/aminos to increase strength, endurance and muscle quality... a wave of neuronal impulses all the while are firing like crazy during this repair... (the wave of emotions)... but you know what? the injury is fixed... and you begin to forget... you hardly even remember how you fell and broke your leg. Your leg isn't broke... you've moved on. You found a better way of jumping off cliffs... or something... ie, you found someone better who will catch you when you jump.. I hope I meet a girl like you one day Be strong sweetie. ps - Congrats on the law school! You'll make us all proud. Be my lawyer one day? In my office/lab.. need to get off I have a **** ton of work to do today... FML. Good luck MSG Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Holy crap.. I'm a nerd in a jock's body. I need to stop working out... wear suspenders and what are those little pocket pen holster thingies called? And I need to tape my glasses! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 It's only temporary... almost as if he ate a lot of rice, beans, and cabbage... you bloat until your rip a huge fart. He'll have a heart fart soon enough and you know what? That 'feeling' he has now... will be gone. And that emptiness will point in your direction. He will grow tiresome of the 'now'... he will become heartsick, like you... like me... haha! "Heart fart!" I love it!! I'm going to start using that one. No, I'm not in a sorority. I wanted to pledge for a very long time...until I saw what my ex has sucuumbed to. The clincher? He hates it (and btw I also paid most of his dues...he seems to have forgotten that)! It truly demands a commitment, usurps all of time and energy, and he barely had room for anything else. Love the analogy to the human body. However, I don't feel as if I'm simply torn a ligament...at times I feel as though I've suffered third degree burns (for metaphors sake)! Those burns take much longer to heal....and may never be fully repaired. In reference to your other post about why it hurts so much for your ex to be gone..I think it's more a pain of the blatant rejection she foisted upon you when she left so abruptly (because she obviously doesn't deserve u:D). We're human...we can't bear rejection (especially when it's unwarranted) and it makes us want the other person even more. Will they ever feel the void that they feel when they left? Gosh I sure hope you're right when you say that they will...I hope he does...but uni still has about 5 months left...5 months of distractions so somehow I doubt it. I wish I could meet someone like you too! lol. But alas... thanks so much for the congratulations...I'm going to try to leverage that scholarship to get some of the other schools i applied to to pony up some money! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 I need to stop working out... wear suspenders and what are those little pocket pen holster thingies called? haha! pocket protectors!! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Holy crap.. I'm a nerd in a jock's body. I need to stop working out... wear suspenders and what are those little pocket pen holster thingies called? And I need to tape my glasses! FTW...never stop being this... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Love the analogy to the human body. However, I don't feel as if I'm simply torn a ligament...at times I feel as though I've suffered third degree burns (for metaphors sake)! Those burns take much longer to heal....and may never be fully repaired. I'm going to go a little deeper with this...you compare your loss to burns...yes, burns may take longer to heal, and the scars may last for a long time, BUT burns are also visible to everyone else, while the ligament tear stays inside...you need to ditch this burn attitude... You're not going to help yourself by showing everyone you've been burned...yes, it's ok to mourn and cope with loss, but you can't let that loss affect the way you live your life or define who you are...your breakup shouldn't be like a burn, as much as you might feel like it is now... Tearing a ligament (or whatever internal injury you'd like to have...) does take time to heal, but before you know it, you're back out there running again, better than ever...don't let people see yours scars on the outside...and don't let scars change who you are as a person...it's a really bad habit to get into and won't help you in the long run... And by the way, Rob, that last paragraph was just unnecessary...I felt the smoke start coming out of my head...but thanks anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 You're not going to help yourself by showing everyone you've been burned...yes, it's ok to mourn and cope with loss, but you can't let that loss affect the way you live your life or define who you are...your breakup shouldn't be like a burn, as much as you might feel like it is now... Hmmm...you're def right...I shouldn't wear my pain on my sleeve for all to see (I think I do a good job of hiding it for the most part) because that's detrimental to no one but me. i guess I said burns b/c I know that this has scarred me emotionally...they're scars that (right now) only I can feel and see. They are healing (slowly, gradually) But I kind of feel sorry for the next man (if there is one) or my ex (if he comes back & I give him a 2nd chance) b/c I'm def going to have some walls up. My heart will be impassable from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I'm def going to have some walls up. My heart will be impassable from now on. Both you and Rob have said this...and for a little while after a breakup, you'll swear to yourself that you'll put up inpenetrable walls around your heart that no one will ever get through... But even this will pass...you won't feel quite as guarded as time goes on...of course you'll protect your heart a little more, but that feeling of "actively" guarding your heart and telling the whole world that you won't love again will pass... I was where you were...my heart once told me I could never trust a woman again, that I would never love again, that I would never let anyone in so they could hurt me again...and as time went on, my head started fighting back and realizing that of course I'd love again and be loved again...that my walls would only stunt my own growth and possibly prevent me from being with that person I was meant to be with... So it's ok to be on this "emotional low," but I'd just like to tell you that things do get better, and you won't have to be that closed-off, guarded person forever... Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 In a rush so can't respond elaborately, but in short, I love you guys Link to post Share on other sites
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