MySweetie'sGone Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 What if your ex gives you closure. You talk for hours and hours. He Tells you why he broke up with you...but it's not really closure because it doesn't make any sense? And you kinda look at him like...WTF dude...that's why we broke up? We should still be together...idiot? Has this ever happened to anyone besides me? (see my other posts in second chances)
thepulse27 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Yes. It f*****g sucks, I know! I'm finally realising that there was nothing I could have done, she was at a tough crossroads in life, tried to think about it and somehow her mind told her 'end your relationship, that's what you need now'. It's hard, but at the same time I think it's probably as good as these situations could get; i may be desperately unhappy, but I know that I wasn't missing something, I am the great person I thought I was, she's just lost her mind and needs to go find it. But it's tough trying to make sense of it isn't it?
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 "closure" is way over-rated It's practically impossible! What nut-job thought it up? lol. My idea of a closure talk is him saying "Babe I messed up. I need you in my life" and me being able to actually say no...and make him sweat.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Yes. It f*****g sucks, I know! I'm finally realising that there was nothing I could have done, she was at a tough crossroads in life, tried to think about it and somehow her mind told her 'end your relationship, that's what you need now'. It's hard, but at the same time I think it's probably as good as these situations could get; i may be desperately unhappy, but I know that I wasn't missing something, I am the great person I thought I was, she's just lost her mind and needs to go find it. But it's tough trying to make sense of it isn't it? It's incredibly tough...but yes I suppose it's a best case scenario if it has to happen at all. It would be lovely if people could "find themselves" before they embark on long term relationships...you know? I believe him...that he is an incredibly confused idiot...but will he EVER find himself enough to realize what he's missing out on?
bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Closure, I've learned, must come from within... not from someone else. they left you.. they're ****ed up to begin with
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Closure, I've learned, must come from within... not from someone else. ^ This. People will all have their own personal definition of "closure"...whether it be simply the breakup itself with no explanation, or a long drawn out explanation of everything that went wrong, or the words "it's over forever"...and the list goes on... Or in your case, you want to "close" on him...basically stroking your own ego... In any event, it's up to you to give yourself closure...it's not up to your ex or anyone else to give it to you...as bananaboat has said, it comes from within...
LovelyDaze Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Closure, I've learned, must come from within... not from someone else. they left you.. they're ****ed up to begin with Exactly. No matter what reason the ex gives you, a dumpee is not going to say, "Oh, that's the reason? Makes sense! Goodbye now!" A dumpee doesn't want to be broken up with....period. Like said by fellow LS members...find closure within you because no one else on earth can do it for you.
GrayClouds Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 What if your ex gives you closure. You talk for hours and hours. He Tells you why he broke up with you...but it's not really closure because it doesn't make any sense? And you kinda look at him like...WTF dude...that's why we broke up? We should still be together...idiot? Has this ever happened to anyone besides me? (see my other posts in second chances) When it comes to a break-up questions asked do not lead to answers but to more questions. True closure you will find is when you get to the point of healing and you find it just does not matter anymore. The only person who can give you that closure is yourself.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 When it comes to a break-up questions asked do not lead to answers but to more questions. Wow. How true...
prayingshecomesback Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Hey MSG... I live 5 minutes from Buckhead. LOL we should meet up and drown our sorrows together.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Hey MSG... I live 5 minutes from Buckhead. LOL we should meet up and drown our sorrows together. Lol! Do you really??? Small world. With all this sadness in one place...We might just run everybody else in Atlanta away with our negative vibes! lol
bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 MSG, roll up your sleeves (get those emotions off!) Be positive. Look in the mirror... (be naked) and tell yourself how incredibly sexy your personality is and how beautiful you are physically! I won't take no for answer. It's time to rebuild yourself from the inside out. You do NOT need your ex to give you closure. you need to realize a comfort in life is gone. Woohoo. You know what, that gives you the chance to seek comfort elsewhere while he remains miserable. I promise you, as a former dumper and current dumpee (I KNOW MY EX IS HURTING DEEP DOWN)... What a dumper SAYS and what a dumper THINKS are two totally different coping mechanisms. They can say BS all they want... until they believe it. They will truly never understand their issue. And for that, they will hurt. Eventually they'll want you back (for whatever reason)... because THEY miss YOU. You, on the other hand, have rebuilt yourself. You've found closure within. Sought comfort in other aspects of life and are completely capable of sleeping alone at night and enjoy it. It is then and only then you will be ready to love... and be loved. I don't even know you and I want to emotionally support you b/c I think you're awesome. NOW PROVE IT TO ME, MSG! you have my e-mail. if you need to talk - i'm here.
prayingshecomesback Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Lol! Do you really??? Small world. With all this sadness in one place...We might just run everybody else in Atlanta away with our negative vibes! lol hahah. We just might. I know how you are feeling. Let's meet up at Tavern on Phipps one night... it would be fun to share stories.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 hahah. We just might. I know how you are feeling. Let's meet up at Tavern on Phipps one night... it would be fun to share stories. Lol @ Nobby. Praying, I may just take u up on that offer one day! so beware. lol. I've always wanted to go to Tavern...or Grape! lol
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 MSG, roll up your sleeves (get those emotions off!) Be positive. Look in the mirror... (be naked) and tell yourself how incredibly sexy your personality is and how beautiful you are physically! I won't take no for answer. It's time to rebuild yourself from the inside out. You do NOT need your ex to give you closure. you need to realize a comfort in life is gone. Woohoo. You know what, that gives you the chance to seek comfort elsewhere while he remains miserable. I promise you, as a former dumper and current dumpee (I KNOW MY EX IS HURTING DEEP DOWN)... What a dumper SAYS and what a dumper THINKS are two totally different coping mechanisms. They can say BS all they want... until they believe it. They will truly never understand their issue. And for that, they will hurt. Eventually they'll want you back (for whatever reason)... because THEY miss YOU. You, on the other hand, have rebuilt yourself. You've found closure within. Sought comfort in other aspects of life and are completely capable of sleeping alone at night and enjoy it. It is then and only then you will be ready to love... and be loved. I don't even know you and I want to emotionally support you b/c I think you're awesome. NOW PROVE IT TO ME, MSG! I WILL!! you have my e-mail. if you need to talk - i'm here. Banana, I was wondering where you got off to . You know... I've actually never dumped anyone so it's difficult for me to understand their thought process...lol. (I'm too nice, Nice Girl Syndrome I suppose). However, I can definitely see where the BS comes in. Mine, i think is Bsing (new word!) himself! Trying to convince himself that he made the right decision. I look forward to the day where my rebuilding is complete and he tries to return (if THAT ever happens) and I have the strength to say no! & u should be proud of me...I deactivated my FB!! (we'll see how long it lasts...)
sunrae Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 What if your ex gives you closure. You talk for hours and hours. He Tells you why he broke up with you...but it's not really closure because it doesn't make any sense? And you kinda look at him like...WTF dude...that's why we broke up? We should still be together...idiot? Has this ever happened to anyone besides me? (see my other posts in second chances) YES! Last Friday..... I dont understand the reasoning, or his way of thinking, to me it doesnt make any sense, but who says it has to. I now understand why people say, you have to find closure on your own, which I am doing, because some question you have leads to more questions... It's a vicious cycle....
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 YES! Last Friday..... I dont understand the reasoning, or his way of thinking, to me it doesnt make any sense, but who says it has to. I now understand why people say, you have to find closure on your own, which I am doing, because some question you have leads to more questions... It's a vicious cycle.... Sunrae, Yes! It is a vicious cycle. We will never be satisfied with any answer they give us. Even if they sincerely came back we would still be curious!! & it would still be back of our minds. I'm trying to find closure on my own...but it's hard because the entire sitch just doesn't make any sense!! lol.
prayingshecomesback Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I feel a romance????? hahahah Nobby xx Let me have a chance to show you how you should be treated MSG!
bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Banana, I was wondering where you got off to . You know... I've actually never dumped anyone so it's difficult for me to understand their thought process...lol. (I'm too nice, Nice Girl Syndrome I suppose). However, I can definitely see where the BS comes in. Mine, i think is Bsing (new word!) himself! Trying to convince himself that he made the right decision. I look forward to the day where my rebuilding is complete and he tries to return (if THAT ever happens) and I have the strength to say no! & u should be proud of me...I deactivated my FB!! (we'll see how long it lasts...) Good for you Don't look forward to the day.. don't expect it.. don't think about it. Concentrate on you. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back. This is YOUR time to shine, hun.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Let me have a chance to show you how you should be treated MSG! Well gosh... when you put it like that...! lol.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Good for you Don't look forward to the day.. don't expect it.. don't think about it. Concentrate on you. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back. This is YOUR time to shine, hun. You are def a continuous encouragement, Rob!! Thank you!!
sedgwick Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 You mean like when I spoke to my ex briefly after the breakup and he said, "We're a great couple," but didn't want to get back together? Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 You are def a continuous encouragement' date=' Rob!! Thank you!![/quote'] So when does my ex come back to me?
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