hero112 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 If your not familiar with my situation and dont mind giving me some insight please read http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=217171, Caliguy & grayclouds I really would love to hear what you have to say about this as its always wise. i was going through some stuff last night and I found a card she wrote to me on my birthday. It said "In life we meet many.. Only few leave an impact. Meeting you was if an angel came into my world." I just have this very strong urge to email her something like this Hey ...., I was just going through some of my stuff yesterday and I came across my birthday card & this really stood out to me. "In life we meet many.. Only few leave an impact. Meeting you was if an angel came into my world." I just want to let you know that you were an angel that came in my life to at that time as well & I did enjoy all the times we shared together but I don't want to cause any heartaches for you and myself. I remember you saying, "sometimes its not right for two people to come together" but when is it ever? If we cant lean on each other in the hardest time in our lives then will we ever is the way I look at it. So I feel the best solution for myself is to just move on because each time we talk it just brings up emotion for me. If I ever see you as just a friend ill give you a shout sometime. But until then from the bottom of my heart, i wish you all the best & Take care. .... I wanted to know what you guys thought of this?? I have been on NC for almost 2 months now, but everyday I think of her.. Its like I need closure of some kind..
Author hero112 Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 can someone plaese comment.. need advice thank you
Silver_star Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 If it makes you feel like ur getting closure. Do it. But dont be dissapointed if you dont get a response, and if u do get a response be cautious about what it may mean. You need to keep your guard up...u may think they were "an angel" sent to you in hard times and in a way yeah..everyone crosses a persons path in life and it changes you...but be weary of when to say its enough. I think it was wise of you to put if i ever see you as just a friend..ill get a hold of you" but you are definetley letting her know how vulnerable you still are at this point. not sure if thats ok with you or not.
Ronni_W Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 So I feel the best solution for myself is to just move on Take your own advice...move on. There's absolutely nothing in your intended message that has anything to do with her, at the end of it. Congrats on your 2 months of n/c -- now turn it into 4...and 8...and 16. Yes, you can!
gaudi Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Short answer mate ?? no. I really don't think you should send it. I understand what it is that you really feel like saying. But it's mainly down to the card message that you found. You're reading the message as though she only just wrote it. I mean seriously, when is it actually from ?? She's no longer the same person who wrote that message my friend. She no longer feels the same way. Believe me I felt exactly the same way yesterday, and had posted as such. God knows how I kept from getting in touch with my EX, but I managed to hold off. And today I'm glad I did. 2 months NC mate, it'd be a damn shame to break that. You would have to start all over again, and I really don't think it's worth it because you remember something she wrote. If she still felt you were an angel, she would probably still be with you. Let it go.....
nomad0792 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 This was a very short relationship and you are very young. You can send that letter, but be prepared to not get a response...and that will hurt terribly if you wait around for a response. If she knows how you feel, then you need to let it go. It will only prolong your healing. She's stringing you along and you many never get the respect you deserve. Be strong and move on with NC.
sunrae Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I wouldnt send it... I would just keep trying to move forward. Please look at the forum and see all the set backs people have encountered by trying to get closure and nothing positive has come from it... Trust me it will bother you if you dont get a response, and if you do get a response it will only lead to more questions.
WantToFixIt Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Take your own advice...move on. There's absolutely nothing in your intended message that has anything to do with her, at the end of it. Congrats on your 2 months of n/c -- now turn it into 4...and 8...and 16. Yes, you can! There is really no difference in the amount of time you go NC. Once you reach that place that finally lets it go - you let it go. Two months or two years means nothing if you are not at peace. If sending a letter helps you then maybe send it, but consider it like putting a note in a bottle and throwing it into the indian ocean - who cares where it goes. It may or may not be read, it may or may not be replied to. Sometimes you will get a response that is what you want to hear, sometimes you will get one you did not want to hear and sometimes nothing. Look for peace and find it your own way; but keep in mind that you are the only one who can control that. It is true that this has little to do with her at the end of it all.
Author hero112 Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 There is really no difference in the amount of time you go NC. Once you reach that place that finally lets it go - you let it go. Two months or two years means nothing if you are not at peace. If sending a letter helps you then maybe send it, but consider it like putting a note in a bottle and throwing it into the indian ocean - who cares where it goes. It may or may not be read, it may or may not be replied to. Sometimes you will get a response that is what you want to hear, sometimes you will get one you did not want to hear and sometimes nothing. Look for peace and find it your own way; but keep in mind that you are the only one who can control that. It is true that this has little to do with her at the end of it all. Thank you for all of your responses, the one thing that keeps holding hope is that she had told me early in the relationship that her mum and dad had been in a relationship in which she pushed him away and he would keep coming back & now they have been married for over 25 years. She told me she is every complex and to not let her push me away. I felt such a strong connection but I know the end result is that I must move on. A friend of mine told me a while back that if shes "crazy today, shes crazy tommorow." I am a very clean hearted person and did not keep anything from her, I always told her how I felt from the heart. I did send some emotional emails and would have implemented NC sooner but I went with my heart rather then logic. We all live and learn, but I just wish the pain would go away quicker, even tho most of us on this site know the answers to our questions. Once we get someones opinion from outside the situation it gives me a sense of affirmation that im doing the right thing. Thank you everyone.. Some quotes that have helped through the tough times. "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
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