Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 So a typical day for you two was..have sex..have sex..more sex..more sex..see ya bye..next day it starts all over again? I mean how well did you get to know this girl on a deeper than physical and sexual level? How much percentage of your time togeter was spent having sex and how much was spent talking and sharing between you two? hmmm.. I mean... we would "talk"... she always talked... and believed she was communicating Talking a lot does not necessarily mean 'communication'. She always spoke of her home... her friends... her family... her future with me... her dreams and aspirations... her ex (who came up A LOT... more than he should've...). Our 'talking' ceased after the fall semester began... she would have trouble coping with stress... stress from class... etc
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 hmmm.. I mean... we would "talk"... she always talked... and believed she was communicating Talking a lot does not necessarily mean 'communication'. She always spoke of her home... her friends... her family... her future with me... her dreams and aspirations... her ex (who came up A LOT... more than he should've...). Our 'talking' ceased after the fall semester began... she would have trouble coping with stress... stress from class... etc Okay well, there you go! In the future when a girl talks a lot about the ex? You know that's a no go. I don't really see the point of talking much about exes either and if a woman keeps bringing them up or a man, even if it to just bash and complain about them? He/She's still hung up on that person. Someone hung up on someone else is not someone you should ever get involved in because it does lead to hurt, how can it not, you know? But you know that now. One step further to finding a girl who cares for you and treats you right. Yay!
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Okay well, there you go! In the future when a girl talks a lot about the ex? You know that's a no go. I don't really see the point of talking much about exes either and if a woman keeps bringing them up or a man, even if it to just bash and complain about them? He/She's still hung up on that person. Someone hung up on someone else is not someone you should ever get involved in because it does lead to hurt, how can it not, you know? But you know that now. One step further to finding a girl who cares for you and treats you right. Yay! Thanks. I know I deserve better. She jumped from him to me... she never coped with dumping him and his cheating on her... that was my stupidity. She jumped me on date 1... another red flag... my being a stupid guy who hadn't had sex in 5 months... gave in =/ OOPS. thanks hun =) I expect the ex will be back... if I take her back.. I know 3 people who will literally kill me LOL (true story) heh... we'll see =)
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Banana, we seriously need to go drinking sometime...
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Banana, we seriously need to go drinking sometime... I'm so in. I'm in Amherst, Massachusetts. Call me Rob, man.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I'm so in. I'm in Amherst, Massachusetts. Call me Rob, man. Crap, I forgot you already told me your name. I'm always up for a road trip. Never been up to that area. - Kel
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Crap, I forgot you already told me your name. I'm always up for a road trip. Never been up to that area. - Kel Just our luck.. you come up here.. your ex calls you wanting you back and I find my ex waiting outside my apartment for me to come home...
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Thanks. I know I deserve better. She jumped from him to me... she never coped with dumping him and his cheating on her... that was my stupidity. She jumped me on date 1... another red flag... my being a stupid guy who hadn't had sex in 5 months... gave in =/ OOPS. thanks hun =) I expect the ex will be back... if I take her back.. I know 3 people who will literally kill me LOL (true story) heh... we'll see =) Yes well, you are probably right. She probably will be back, if you want to take her back just shoot yourself in the foot first..just so you have a physical reminder of just the START of what you are about to do yourself.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Just our luck.. you come up here.. your ex calls you wanting you back and I find my ex waiting outside my apartment for me to come home... Hahah, a boy can dream...at least this boy...
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Hahah, a boy can dream...at least this boy... I hope your ex begs for you back. I hope my ex doesn't.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Yes well, you are probably right. She probably will be back, if you want to take her back just shoot yourself in the foot first..just so you have a physical reminder of just the START of what you are about to do yourself. I bought a new silver spinner ring to put on my middle finger to remind me I am better than her... and never to take her back. Ring on the middle finger means alpha.
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Just our luck.. you come up here.. your ex calls you wanting you back and I find my ex waiting outside my apartment for me to come home... Whaaaa? As in right now?
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Whaaaa? As in right now? Heh, yes. I drive really fast. And I'm fully groomed and ready to go out.
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Heh, yes. I drive really fast. And I'm fully groomed and ready to go out. What? You boys have me confused He said something about his ex being at his place waiting for him to come home.. You are talking about being ready to go out..
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Heh, yes. I drive really fast. And I'm fully groomed and ready to go out. Aside from being a nerdy graduate student.. I'm a DJ. Next gig I have in a bar or club... you should come. shoot me an e-mail @ my public e-mail with your private e-mail and/or FB so we can keep in touch if you're really interested. I mix electronic music, dance, top 40, hip hop, rap, and remix my own stuff
temple Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Sorry to hear you're suffering. At these times it's almost impossible to think that you'll find the right person for you, but you never think you will love again until the moment you find it again You sound as though your heart's in the right place.
paddington bear Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 In relation to the original post...the low self esteem girls who toy with men. I've seen them do it too and it makes me sick, but what really annoys me is how many men are totally oblivious to how they are being manoeuvred into position, manipulated and lied to. I think women can see clearly the tactics that some other women use, can see when they are manipulating men, wrapping them right around their little fingers, luring them in. But should you dare suggest that the girl a guy is dating might not have the nicest motives the guy will accuse you of being jealous or a b**ch, that 'Miss X' is so lovely and wonderful and doesn't have a bad bone in her body. I just stand back and wait for the pain to hit because it's the only way to learn, through doing. When the love glasses are on, you cannot or will not believe that you are merely a puppet on a string for some girl with issues who's quite happy to use you to further her own ends and then drop you when she's done. Men seem to be totally unaware of the machinations of certain women when it is used on them and this is one of those occassions where they should be suspicious at the beginning before they get involved and get hurt.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Sorry to hear you're suffering. At these times it's almost impossible to think that you'll find the right person for you, but you never think you will love again until the moment you find it again You sound as though your heart's in the right place. Thanks hun. As much as I miss companionship and infatuation and long to love and be loved... I want to be single. Flirting with other women again is fun b/c when I'm in a relationship my attention is 100% on my s/o. I would never contemplate the thought of undressing another woman with my eyes... When I'm with someone - it's because I want to be with THEM. Not someone else. This last relationship of mine... I got jumped (sexually)... kind of blinded me to EVERYTHING else... heh. How can you tell my heart is in the right place? In relation to the original post...the low self esteem girls who toy with men. I've seen them do it too and it makes me sick, but what really annoys me is how many men are totally oblivious to how they are being manoeuvred into position, manipulated and lied to. I think women can see clearly the tactics that some other women use, can see when they are manipulating men, wrapping them right around their little fingers, luring them in. But should you dare suggest that the girl a guy is dating might not have the nicest motives the guy will accuse you of being jealous or a b**ch, that 'Miss X' is so lovely and wonderful and doesn't have a bad bone in her body. I just stand back and wait for the pain to hit because it's the only way to learn, through doing. When the love glasses are on, you cannot or will not believe that you are merely a puppet on a string for some girl with issues who's quite happy to use you to further her own ends and then drop you when she's done. Men seem to be totally unaware of the machinations of certain women when it is used on them and this is one of those occassions where they should be suspicious at the beginning before they get involved and get hurt. Pain hit. Don't know what to think of the ex anymore. Did she care? Didn't she? Will she be back? Won't she? Is she marrying her abusive ex? No? ...all questions I don't want to know. All questions I can't know.
temple Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Thanks hun. As much as I miss companionship and infatuation and long to love and be loved... I want to be single. Flirting with other women again is fun b/c when I'm in a relationship my attention is 100% on my s/o. I would never contemplate the thought of undressing another woman with my eyes... When I'm with someone - it's because I want to be with THEM. Not someone else. This last relationship of mine... I got jumped (sexually)... kind of blinded me to EVERYTHING else... heh. Well that's a good way to think, I'd say I'm most definitely with you on this one. Most people are happy with this idea of being with someone for the sake of being with someone, but that usually equals a life of rather numb feelings. Enjoy being single and see your current pain as an experience you can grow from.
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Thanks hun. As much as I miss companionship and infatuation and long to love and be loved... I want to be single. Flirting with other women again is fun b/c when I'm in a relationship my attention is 100% on my s/o. I would never contemplate the thought of undressing another woman with my eyes... When I'm with someone - it's because I want to be with THEM. Not someone else. This last relationship of mine... I got jumped (sexually)... kind of blinded me to EVERYTHING else... heh. How can you tell my heart is in the right place? OP, I think for you that's just it. What you long for most is to be loved and have someone to love. That isn't a bad or wrong thing. Like most people, the opportunity presented itself in a vulnerable time and I think the reason you are still taking this as hard as you did when it clearly wasn't a completely mutual RS is because you want that so badly, and you have a palpable physical marker to attatch those feelings too. She talked about her ex a lot more than she should of..you knew that. Deep down you had to of known this wasn't a girl who was ga ga goo goo for you, you just WANTED her to be. Now, you still mourn the idea of her even though who she is in reality is not that same person.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 You guys are right... I don't know why I'm actually hoping to hear from her... expecting her any day to shoot me an e-mail for some sort of reconciliation, but I don't think I'll get it. I blocked her on facebook after she unblocked me (for whatever reason), but haven't broken NC yet. And it's been 12 weeks / 3 months now... wow. I kind of want to unblock her to see what 'she' does... should I? can I? I know it'll set me soooo far back if I do... ugh:sick:
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I kind of want to unblock her to see what 'she' does... should I? can I? I know it'll set me soooo far back if I do... ugh:sick: You don't need to do this. It serves no purpose. It can go one of two ways...both are bad... (1) It creates an expectation on your part that she will react...and when she doesn't, you'll get even more curious and/or butthurt... (2) She reacts in some way which destroys all the progress you've made in the past 3 months... You have to stop caring what she does with her life...only you matter...
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 You don't need to do this. It serves no purpose. It can go one of two ways...both are bad... (1) It creates an expectation on your part that she will react...and when she doesn't, you'll get even more curious and/or butthurt... (2) She reacts in some way which destroys all the progress you've made in the past 3 months... You have to stop caring what she does with her life...only you matter... You're right (again) I figure... if she wanted to contact me... actually cared about me... even if I blocked her, she would've e-mailed me or texted me by now. (she can't call - I have an app on my phone that hangs up on her phone #) Staying strong thanks to you! These ups and downs are a fcking roller coaster. ugh i hope they go away 100% completely soon
1000 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 **** mem... when she left me, that's the only thing she complimented me on. Yeah, my penis size is well above average... but we would **** 4, 5, 6 times even in one night... for hours. 2-3 times during the day.. pretty much every day for the 4.5 months we were together. Size means nothing... it's the motion of the ocean and if you know how to rock the boat right... hell, you're golden. And there are physiological means of knowing she ISN'T faking... The bedroom aspect of the relationship was probably the best part. May be why I miss her so much. LOL maybe she left you because of pathological lying.
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