bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 What is going through your mind? You know, there are men out there who are sincerely good, confident, strong, independent men who... surprise, surprise... actually care. And then a low self-esteem, sad type girl (yet, believes she's a woman) comes along and plays with us. She believes she is independent, but in truth - is co-dependent typically jumping from relationship OR fling to relationship OR fling. She can be intelligent.. or not... or led to believe she is. She may have some mild to aggressive mood swings which are not caused by that magical 28 day (on avg) cycle. Ha. Initially during the qualifying stages of a relationship, you know, the time where to partners get together to 'size up' the other and see if that person is "good enough to be with you". It is during this stage infatuation grows. Sometimes it may be mistaken for love as one may fall for the other, or both partners may. To a low self-esteem individual (man OR woman) this is usually the cut off point... especially of the avoidance sub-type. Once you're past the first month or two and everything seems fine, all those insecurities and emotional downfalls seem to flourish once again - unsuppressed by your temporary relief in your new partner. And again, failing to PROPERLY cope... you look to your partner and become manipulative playing out these insecurities through them. Immediately, you're unable to reflect beyond yourself and see you in them (or the thought thereof). You begin to blame them for your problems and insecurities (even though these issues stem deeper than you consciously wish to admit). Suddenly, everything that once was, is no more. These qualifying stages can last anywhere from 1-2 months up to 6-8 months. Once again, miserable and unhappy for whatever reason, you, the LSE (Low Self-Esteem) type begin to search for faults with your partner to subconsciously and temporarily alleviate any emotional pain you are experiencing. You don't mean to, but you do it anyways. Your significant other begins to grow tiresome and weary of your meanderings... and will retract from you until your "relationship", if that's what it really is, begins to crumble. The floor beneath you begins to burn as you both take a step back. The LSE type will then demand space or a break... and the partner who has become attached will immediately "freak out" and insist upon the LSE staying. This further pushes away someone who cannot cope nor be close anymore. Once again, the undeserving partner feels alone... violated... sad.... Usually the breakups between a strong partner and an LSE do not end well. And honestly, it is not fair... The LSE may eventually grow to a HSE (High Self-Esteem), but their pride/arrogance become their hubris... retaining their own dignity. Stringing along their ex, if they can... never apologizing. And when they do realize their fault/s... their curse is to forever carry their wrongdoings to their grave... unless they can truly change at heart (which is rare). The LSE types typically are unable to enter into the so called "bonding" stages of a relationship... the long term. High Self Esteems are much different... as this latter stage is of more importance to them. I've learned there are plenty of HSE's out there, but not nearly as many as there are LSE's (in my experience... and no I'm not meeting girls in bars. Rather class... coffee shops... library...) (Personal OOC note): So, to the the LSE, Sub-avoidance type girl who used me as her 5 month rebound to suppress her insecurities & emotional immaturity... I finally forgive you. You will never know it. You will never know truly how much I was falling for you... and you probably never will. I only hope you live a long life... do not contact me ever again... and I hope your emotional wounds heal so you may become an HSE.. and no longer make another man suffer as you have tormented my heart. I cannot feel the fiery breath of passion flowing through my veins... nor the touch or feel of one's beating heart against my own. One day... but not today. I forgive you for shutting me down for a good 3 months. Thank you for whoever reads this and understands... I expect to be flamed for this post. I only want to be able to love again one day.
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Well we have another question which is more of a vent. I'm assuming you have been the victim of said girls, and then post a question which assumes that all women do this? I think you should have asked why do men as well as women toy with one another. If you think only women toy, manipulate or control you are very wrong. That said, I think there are several reasons why women AND men do this. 1) low self-esteem 2) ego fulfillment/attention/pride 3) boredom and fun (more or less for the sake of it) 4) to make another person jealous 5) to compete with other males/females 6) as a good friend once put it (male by the way), to experiment with members of the opposite sex until the right one comes along People try to understand themselves through their interactions with others. Many people are damaged and therefore so are their social interactions.
Left in a Lurch Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Why is it any time a guy asks a question about why women behave a certain way, a woman always has to post, "Men do it too!" ? The OP isn't asking about men or trying to say men are better than women because men never ..... like women do. Can't it be assumed everybody knows what a generalization is and that it doesn't apply to everyone and is not a universal truth or a defining principle of one sex or the other? Does someone always have to point out that a generalization is, well, just a generalization? And yes, I know men often post "Women do it too!" on women's threads so there is no need to point out that men do that too.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Why is it any time a guy asks a question about why women behave a certain way, a woman always has to post, "Men do it too!" ? The OP isn't asking about men or trying to say men are better than women because men never ..... like women do. Can't it be assumed everybody knows what a generalization is and that it doesn't apply to everyone and is not a universal truth or a defining principle of one sex or the other? Does someone always have to point out that a generalization is, well, just a generalization? And yes, I know men often post "Women do it too!" on women's threads so there is no need to point out that men do that too. Most men, I hate to say, are known to do this. I hate those types... they make it harder for good guys like me. I didn't mean to generalize... but that's how it was worded / came out. For that, I apologize. And to Nikki, yes, I was a victim. And still hurt... clearly.
mem11363 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 This is usually about emotional balance and THAT is about a lot of things including YOU the man demanding to be treated well. If you don't - these women - most women - get bored and lose respect and then they leave. Your post reads "nice guy syndrome" from top to bottom. By the way - some of this is a bedroom thing - like how aggressive/dominant you are in bed. Guys with a decent blend of alpha do NOT let themselves get jerked around like this. Your issue is you are treating this like there is no dominance aspect to a relationship - like you are ignoring that part. And when they start doing "male fitness tests on you" and you have no idea what is happening. What is going through your mind? You know, there are men out there who are sincerely good, confident, strong, independent men who... surprise, surprise... actually care. And then a low self-esteem, sad type girl (yet, believes she's a woman) comes along and plays with us. She believes she is independent, but in truth - is co-dependent typically jumping from relationship OR fling to relationship OR fling. She can be intelligent.. or not... or led to believe she is. She may have some mild to aggressive mood swings which are not caused by that magical 28 day (on avg) cycle. Ha. Initially during the qualifying stages of a relationship, you know, the time where to partners get together to 'size up' the other and see if that person is "good enough to be with you". It is during this stage infatuation grows. Sometimes it may be mistaken for love as one may fall for the other, or both partners may. To a low self-esteem individual (man OR woman) this is usually the cut off point... especially of the avoidance sub-type. Once you're past the first month or two and everything seems fine, all those insecurities and emotional downfalls seem to flourish once again - unsuppressed by your temporary relief in your new partner. And again, failing to PROPERLY cope... you look to your partner and become manipulative playing out these insecurities through them. Immediately, you're unable to reflect beyond yourself and see you in them (or the thought thereof). You begin to blame them for your problems and insecurities (even though these issues stem deeper than you consciously wish to admit). Suddenly, everything that once was, is no more. These qualifying stages can last anywhere from 1-2 months up to 6-8 months. Once again, miserable and unhappy for whatever reason, you, the LSE (Low Self-Esteem) type begin to search for faults with your partner to subconsciously and temporarily alleviate any emotional pain you are experiencing. You don't mean to, but you do it anyways. Your significant other begins to grow tiresome and weary of your meanderings... and will retract from you until your "relationship", if that's what it really is, begins to crumble. The floor beneath you begins to burn as you both take a step back. The LSE type will then demand space or a break... and the partner who has become attached will immediately "freak out" and insist upon the LSE staying. This further pushes away someone who cannot cope nor be close anymore. Once again, the undeserving partner feels alone... violated... sad.... Usually the breakups between a strong partner and an LSE do not end well. And honestly, it is not fair... The LSE may eventually grow to a HSE (High Self-Esteem), but their pride/arrogance become their hubris... retaining their own dignity. Stringing along their ex, if they can... never apologizing. And when they do realize their fault/s... their curse is to forever carry their wrongdoings to their grave... unless they can truly change at heart (which is rare). The LSE types typically are unable to enter into the so called "bonding" stages of a relationship... the long term. High Self Esteems are much different... as this latter stage is of more importance to them. I've learned there are plenty of HSE's out there, but not nearly as many as there are LSE's (in my experience... and no I'm not meeting girls in bars. Rather class... coffee shops... library...) (Personal OOC note): So, to the the LSE, Sub-avoidance type girl who used me as her 5 month rebound to suppress her insecurities & emotional immaturity... I finally forgive you. You will never know it. You will never know truly how much I was falling for you... and you probably never will. I only hope you live a long life... do not contact me ever again... and I hope your emotional wounds heal so you may become an HSE.. and no longer make another man suffer as you have tormented my heart. I cannot feel the fiery breath of passion flowing through my veins... nor the touch or feel of one's beating heart against my own. One day... but not today. I forgive you for shutting me down for a good 3 months. Thank you for whoever reads this and understands... I expect to be flamed for this post. I only want to be able to love again one day.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 This is usually about emotional balance and THAT is about a lot of things including YOU the man demanding to be treated well. If you don't - these women - most women - get bored and lose respect and then they leave. Your post reads "nice guy syndrome" from top to bottom. By the way - some of this is a bedroom thing - like how aggressive/dominant you are in bed. Guys with a decent blend of alpha do NOT let themselves get jerked around like this. Your issue is you are treating this like there is no dominance aspect to a relationship - like you are ignoring that part. And when they start doing "male fitness tests on you" and you have no idea what is happening. **** mem... when she left me, that's the only thing she complimented me on. Yeah, my penis size is well above average... but we would **** 4, 5, 6 times even in one night... for hours. 2-3 times during the day.. pretty much every day for the 4.5 months we were together. Size means nothing... it's the motion of the ocean and if you know how to rock the boat right... hell, you're golden. And there are physiological means of knowing she ISN'T faking... The bedroom aspect of the relationship was probably the best part. May be why I miss her so much. And I, in no way, let her run me over. I had a wall up from day 1. She just got out of a 4 year relationship when we started going out. That was my mistake for ignoring certain red flags... regardless, it is still unfair. I made this post b/c I assume most men are aggressive/abusive in a relationship. Typically, it is thought of as the women being the abused... but in my case, it is quite the opposite.
mem11363 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So how did this play out? Are you saying that she was into you - really into you - all the way through. She didn't jerk you around DURING the relationship and one day she just ended it with no warning. The normal sequence is - the woman starts to push you around outside the bedroom. She starts being randomly mean/cold and you react by trying to be ever nicer/more loving. THAT is the pattern I referred to. It is very rare for a woman to be crazily sexual with a guy - totally into him and one day just evaporate UNLESS she has found someone else. And that totally sucks but it does happen. I get the whole 6'1" very fit/handsome big cok thing. But I also saw a post you mentioned a lack of confidence. Lacking confidence is what kills you when the women start to flake because typically the less confident guy starts to try to a$$ ki$$ his way through it when the ONLY solution is to have conflict, and keep escalating until she either stops it or she leaves. **** mem... when she left me, that's the only thing she complimented me on. Yeah, my penis size is well above average... but we would **** 4, 5, 6 times even in one night... for hours. 2-3 times during the day.. pretty much every day for the 4.5 months we were together. Size means nothing... it's the motion of the ocean and if you know how to rock the boat right... hell, you're golden. And there are physiological means of knowing she ISN'T faking... The bedroom aspect of the relationship was probably the best part. May be why I miss her so much. And I, in no way, let her run me over. I had a wall up from day 1. She just got out of a 4 year relationship when we started going out. That was my mistake for ignoring certain red flags... regardless, it is still unfair. I made this post b/c I assume most men are aggressive/abusive in a relationship. Typically, it is thought of as the women being the abused... but in my case, it is quite the opposite.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 (edited) So how did this play out? Are you saying that she was into you - really into you - all the way through. She didn't jerk you around DURING the relationship and one day she just ended it with no warning. The normal sequence is - the woman starts to push you around outside the bedroom. She starts being randomly mean/cold and you react by trying to be ever nicer/more loving. THAT is the pattern I referred to. It is very rare for a woman to be crazily sexual with a guy - totally into him and one day just evaporate UNLESS she has found someone else. And that totally sucks but it does happen. I get the whole 6'1" very fit/handsome big cok thing. But I also saw a post you mentioned a lack of confidence. Lacking confidence is what kills you when the women start to flake because typically the less confident guy starts to try to a$$ ki$$ his way through it when the ONLY solution is to have conflict, and keep escalating until she either stops it or she leaves. I'm beginning to believe I was nothing more than a comfort rebound for her in a time of her sorrow.... she lied to me about our relationship. Now, she's back with her ex of whom she was with for 4 years prior to me... he cheated on her for 2/4 years. She hated him during 'our relationship'.. she spoke of him all the time. And she had issues me being friends with my exes... (of which I'm only friends with 2/4 of them). she had a lot of trust issues... and a lot of personal conflict she had to deal with... hell, she broke down the day her ex (who was going to ask her to marry him) gave away their 2 dogs... oh man.. I had to be super boyfriend that day. My confidence died when she berated me... and always picked a stupid fight with me... our breakup? Oh boy.. The way my ex and me ended sucked... we took a 3 day no contact, "break"... I did freak out thinking she was cheating on me and I apologized to her and told her I wanted her in my life... finally after 2 more days.. she called me. I didn't pick up at first.... finally, she texted me. She wanted me to come over... I said no at first, but randomly showed up 30-45 mins later... I did miss her so much. We talked... I remained neutral... no kiss... I left she wished me a good night. Oh, she also texted me and told me she missed me so much but was afraid to let me back in. the next morning... she texted me @ 6am that she wanted to do everything possible to reconcile... I was happy. went over to her place... we had a real kiss... again. it was nice. we talked and were back together officially after being broken up for a week. (now in the 4.5 months we had been together.. I did dump her twice for her abusive ways and manipulation.. she was toxic and mean) ...she went home to NY. everything seemed fine. we talked.. wished eachother good night... next morning I woke up... I had 2 FB messages. First was she lost her phone and I should email her to get in touch with her. the second one... she was dumping me via facebook. no explanations. I saw her on and I asked her.. "so you're dumping me over facebook?" she said yes. we argued... and the argument escalated. she told me I was only a comfort for her.. let me know she never cared... she used me... she never wants to see me again... was really mean. She called my good female friend a whore (had been jealous and hated this girl the entire time my ex and I were together) and then defacebooked me and ALL my friends. went out of her way. she complimented the physical of the relationship only... but told me she pushed me out to stop lying to herself and that she never loved me. she told me I was rebound. I told her if that's true, then she is dirty and a whore (I didn't call her a whore directly.. only if she believed I was her rebound) she then blocked my email (I presume) my phone # (she told me she was) and my FB.. and blocked my best friend (the girl she was jealous of on fb)... she went through a lot of trouble to make me feel miserable. I don't think any of that's true though (that she never cared about me... she's just rying to hurt me... and she did... a lot.) We've been No Contact since (~3 months ago)... after the first month I did send a platonic e-mail in which this bitch of a friend (she met here in Amherst, Ma during school - a friend I never had respect for because she'd sleep around and abused drugs etc) told me to leave nicole (my ex) alone and that neither of them cared about me... nicole used me, and I'm delusional making up the relationship. ....yeah... strict NC since. But that's why I freaked out when my ex unblocked me, but not my best friend... I didn't know why... didn't want to think too far into it and blocked my ex, the bitchy friend, and EVERYONE else associated with my ex. Just need to completely push her out and move on with my life. It's not healthy to think back... it's hard tho... i really (and I don't know why) want nicole back. And I know SO WELL it's a bad idea. Such a toxic, dysfunctional, catastrophic relationship.. I'm happy it was only 4.5 months even though I fell hard for that girl... you name it... I did it for her... while being strong, confident and resistive. =/ she's sick & needs medicine @ 3 am? To the pharmacy I go. She's vomiting and needs someone to care for her? I was there. She is distraught and crying all day.. I'm holding her close and talking to her... and that was only the bad. Always there when she NEEDED me... ... yeah I don't think I'll hear from her again. So... I don't know what to think of our relationship... I mean.. she had the option of going home after the summer and be catered to by her parents, but was afraid of losing me. So she stayed HERE (my college town) and spent a lot of money to live out here... Edited January 19, 2010 by bananaboat11
hoping2heal Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I'm beginning to believe I was nothing more than a comfort rebound for her in a time of her sorrow.... she lied to me about our relationship. Now, she's back with her ex of whom she was with for 4 years prior to me... he cheated on her for 2/4 years. She hated him during 'our relationship'.. she spoke of him all the time. And she had issues me being friends with my exes... (of which I'm only friends with 2/4 of them). she had a lot of trust issues... and a lot of personal conflict she had to deal with... hell, she broke down the day her ex (who was going to ask her to marry him) gave away their 2 dogs... oh man.. I had to be super boyfriend that day. My confidence died when she berated me... and always picked a stupid fight with me... our breakup? Oh boy.. The way my ex and me ended sucked... we took a 3 day no contact, "break"... I did freak out thinking she was cheating on me and I apologized to her and told her I wanted her in my life... finally after 2 more days.. she called me. I didn't pick up at first.... finally, she texted me. She wanted me to come over... I said no at first, but randomly showed up 30-45 mins later... I did miss her so much. We talked... I remained neutral... no kiss... I left she wished me a good night. Oh, she also texted me and told me she missed me so much but was afraid to let me back in. the next morning... she texted me @ 6am that she wanted to do everything possible to reconcile... I was happy. went over to her place... we had a real kiss... again. it was nice. we talked and were back together officially after being broken up for a week. (now in the 4.5 months we had been together.. I did dump her twice for her abusive ways and manipulation.. she was toxic and mean) ...she went home to NY. everything seemed fine. we talked.. wished eachother good night... next morning I woke up... I had 2 FB messages. First was she lost her phone and I should email her to get in touch with her. the second one... she was dumping me via facebook. no explanations. I saw her on and I asked her.. "so you're dumping me over facebook?" she said yes. we argued... and the argument escalated. she told me I was only a comfort for her.. let me know she never cared... she used me... she never wants to see me again... was really mean. She called my good female friend a whore (had been jealous and hated this girl the entire time my ex and I were together) and then defacebooked me and ALL my friends. went out of her way. she complimented the physical of the relationship only... but told me she pushed me out to stop lying to herself and that she never loved me. she told me I was rebound. I told her if that's true, then she is dirty and a whore (I didn't call her a whore directly.. only if she believed I was her rebound) she then blocked my email (I presume) my phone # (she told me she was) and my FB.. and blocked my best friend (the girl she was jealous of on fb)... she went through a lot of trouble to make me feel miserable. I don't think any of that's true though (that she never cared about me... she's just rying to hurt me... and she did... a lot.) We've been No Contact since (~3 months ago)... after the first month I did send a platonic e-mail in which this bitch of a friend (she met here in Amherst, Ma during school - a friend I never had respect for because she'd sleep around and abused drugs etc) told me to leave nicole (my ex) alone and that neither of them cared about me... nicole used me, and I'm delusional making up the relationship. ....yeah... strict NC since. But that's why I freaked out when my ex unblocked me, but not my best friend... I didn't know why... didn't want to think too far into it and blocked my ex, the bitchy friend, and EVERYONE else associated with my ex. Just need to completely push her out and move on with my life. It's not healthy to think back... it's hard tho... i really (and I don't know why) want nicole back. And I know SO WELL it's a bad idea. Such a toxic, dysfunctional, catastrophic relationship.. I'm happy it was only 4.5 months even though I fell hard for that girl... you name it... I did it for her... while being strong, confident and resistive. =/ she's sick & needs medicine @ 3 am? To the pharmacy I go. She's vomiting and needs someone to care for her? I was there. She is distraught and crying all day.. I'm holding her close and talking to her... and that was only the bad. Always there when she NEEDED me... ... yeah I don't think I'll hear from her again. So... I don't know what to think of our relationship... I mean.. she had the option of going home after the summer and be catered to by her parents, but was afraid of losing me. So she stayed HERE (my college town) and spent a lot of money to live out here... Your ex sounds like she is mentally a hot mess. She very obviously has self esteem issues. She is back with someone who cheated on her for four out of two years? She seems to think that this jerk off is what she deserves and that having you will be a diasaster. Broken people often pair with broken people because it more believable to them that some piece of **** would stay with them, than it is that a really good, respectable, stable person would. They in their minds are already rejected by you because they are so certain that's what will happen eventually. She obviously cared about you, she just doesn't think too hot of herself.
Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 They think they are empowered feminists who are playing men at their own game. To them this makes them strong and independent women yet they crumble when a man beats them at their own game. I once played a maneater and the key is to care about them less than they care about you.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Your ex sounds like she is mentally a hot mess. She very obviously has self esteem issues. She is back with someone who cheated on her for four out of two years? She seems to think that this jerk off is what she deserves and that having you will be a diasaster. Broken people often pair with broken people because it more believable to them that some piece of **** would stay with them, than it is that a really good, respectable, stable person would. They in their minds are already rejected by you because they are so certain that's what will happen eventually. She obviously cared about you, she just doesn't think too hot of herself. Wow... thanks for reading and responding.
Choboto Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Well we have another question which is more of a vent. I'm assuming you have been the victim of said girls, and then post a question which assumes that all women do this? I think you should have asked why do men as well as women toy with one another. If you think only women toy, manipulate or control you are very wrong. That said, I think there are several reasons why women AND men do this. 1) low self-esteem 2) ego fulfillment/attention/pride 3) boredom and fun (more or less for the sake of it) 4) to make another person jealous 5) to compete with other males/females 6) as a good friend once put it (male by the way), to experiment with members of the opposite sex until the right one comes along People try to understand themselves through their interactions with others. Many people are damaged and therefore so are their social interactions. add someone doin it to them in the past..
OceanTropic Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It's interesting what you say. The truth is, there is no such thing as a "bad" person who wants to do this to people. I think we should refer to them as selfish. For instance, you answered my post, that I am dating someone simply because I am bored. I am not a bad person, but I am being selfish. I just got my heart broken, and these are the circumstances I am in. Is what I am doing disrespectful? In a way, yes it is. Can it lead to breaking his heart? Yes, possibly. But this is how people use each other. People might use each other for sex, for company, for money, for business purposes, for connections etc. Whatever it may be, the whole point of being social is to use each other for one way or another, whether it be as an outlet for emotions or seeking advice. I think everyone gets heartbroken in one way or another. Yes it sucks being used, it sucks being lied to, but this is how people are. My only defence against what you're saying is don't wear your heart on your sleeve. It is so easy to be deceived.
Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 add someone doin it to them in the past.. Yup and this is why bananaboat11 should find a woman and toy with her emotions. Get a little payback and even the score.
hoping2heal Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Wow... thanks for reading and responding. You are welcome. Very poor self esteem ruins a lot of relationships and often times makes them impossible. Wether it is the man or the woman, unless both parties suffer from it; to which they can have a dysfunctional relationship together. Poor self esteem is different than just being insecure. Everyone is insecure about some things, and very secure about others. But very low self esteem is a core belief that you are defective as a whole. Have you ever been around a woman who was EXTREMELY, attractive to the point of intimidation? You know how it wasn't a relaxed, nice feeling? It was more like being on edge and self concious? That's how it feels to be in a relationship with a person you view as being non-defective when you believe you, yourself is a defective person. This is why they say you can't love anyone if you don't love yourself.
Choboto Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Yup and this is why bananaboat11 should find a woman and toy with her emotions. Get a little payback and even the score. didnt mean it like that usually you can only take so much before you start to break down and stop caring til someone comes and rebuilds you back up.
hoping2heal Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Yup and this is why bananaboat11 should find a woman and toy with her emotions. Get a little payback and even the score. Why? So he can feel bad about himself? I never understood that logic. "You killed my dog and hurt me, so now I'm going to come and kill your dog and hurt you!" Sweet, so we should all re-enact the ways of others have abused or deeply wounded us? Some people...
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I WILL NEVER USE A WOMAN. End of story. I want to build a companionship, if anything. I just haven't met the right one yet apparently... I thought I did. stupid bitch she was... completely destroyed me. thanks to you all, I'm coping / recovering.
Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 didnt mean it like that usually you can only take so much before you start to break down and stop caring til someone comes and rebuilds you back up. I played a woman between marriages and it did wonders for my self esteem.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Not that ANY of you care.. I'll respond to this all later... going to the gym now my lifting partner's going to kill me.. supposed to pick him up 20 mins ago LOL thanks again for all the advice!
Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Why? So he can feel bad about himself? I never understood that logic. "You killed my dog and hurt me, so now I'm going to come and kill your dog and hurt you!" Sweet, so we should all re-enact the ways of others have abused or deeply wounded us? Some people... It's the way the dating world works. Either a man is a player or he is being played.
Choboto Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Why? So he can feel bad about himself? I never understood that logic. "You killed my dog and hurt me, so now I'm going to come and kill your dog and hurt you!" Sweet, so we should all re-enact the ways of others have abused or deeply wounded us? Some people... bad analogy dude...no where near the same consequences.
hoping2heal Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I played a woman between marriages and it did wonders for my self esteem. I beg to differ. You aren't able to trust even your own wife. You are often negative and cynical.
meerkat stew Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It's interesting what you say. The truth is, there is no such thing as a "bad" person who wants to do this to people. I think we should refer to them as selfish. If one engages in bad behavior, one is a bad person. Actions define the reality of a person, not some innate essence. As far as "wanting" to do something versus not, human will is not a complex thing, whatever one does, one wills to do, even under duress. There may be mitigating factors related to the right or wrong of a specific action, but claiming that you are engaging in behavior, but yet don't really want to is a non sequitur unless you happen to be a marionette.
hoping2heal Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It's the way the dating world works. Either a man is a player or he is being played. Really? Did you pick that up when you got your big self esteem? So in your world you either have to be the bouley or get your ass kicked huh?
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