Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Take up a new hobby or volunteer or do something other than concentrate on women. There is more to life than relationships and when you build up those other aspects life will get better. If a woman is truly worth it you can still make room for her. I see men basing everything on women and they end up miserable because women usually are not a sure thing in a man's life.
bluestraps Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It sucks being alone, but on the bright side, you're not stuck with anyone and can expand your horizons, if you know what I mean lol. Id love to be stuck with someone right now. Finding myself unstuck at 37 is a drag.
Author Zeegagge Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Island booty You mean like pirate treasure! Now that's fun. Several people have suggested I take up some hobbies, so diving for treasure it is! On the real I think I might skip down to the local white people bar tonight and see what I can make happen. My game doesn't really work like that, I tend to look for something more serious than the passing tourist girls, but a little bit of a different type of diving might be fun. *thinks* switch up game... how? Never been good at that! Alpha...?
D-Lish Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I have been single for well over 4 years, and before that guy I dated for just under a year, I was single for 2 years. I've had a couple 3 month relationships and some short term flings in that time period, but for the most part I've spent quite a long time alone. I think I am at that point where I don't believe I will ever find someone I am compatible with. Some days I miss having a relationship, but I am okay with being single too. I actually enjoy my alone time. Since my divorce 8 years ago, I've been scared crapless to get involved with anyone. I've never experienced love that has had a happy ending, and the thought of starting something that might potentially end and bring me back to that place of pain again prevents me from opening up to new men. I guess in my mind, the reality of being lonley outweighs the possibility of getting hurt again.
GAchasen Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I have been single for well over 4 years, and before that guy I dated for just under a year, I was single for 2 years. I've had a couple 3 month relationships and some short term flings in that time period, but for the most part I've spent quite a long time alone. I think I am at that point where I don't believe I will ever find someone I am compatible with. Some days I miss having a relationship, but I am okay with being single too. I actually enjoy my alone time. Since my divorce 8 years ago, I've been scared crapless to get involved with anyone. I've never experienced love that has had a happy ending, and the thought of starting something that might potentially end and bring me back to that place of pain again prevents me from opening up to new men. I guess in my mind, the reality of being lonley outweighs the possibility of getting hurt again. I'm beginning to think the same thing...I'm sometimes happy about being single and then sometimes I'm not. I like alone time. But I miss spending time with someone who just gets you.... I have only had a few serious relationships (mostly because in my earlier years, I enjoyed being single), quite a few of 2-6 months (during this time I wanted more) relationships, and I have had a few flings here and there. I have thought, something was bigger, than it actually was and I have had my heart broken more times, than I can count. I still feel like there is someone for me. Although, it's scary for me to allow a new man into my life and my heart.
D-Lish Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I'm beginning to think the same thing...I'm sometimes happy about being single and then sometimes I'm not. I like alone time. But I miss spending time with someone who just gets you.... I have only had a few serious relationships (mostly because in my earlier years, I enjoyed being single), quite a few of 2-6 months (during this time I wanted more) relationships, and I have had a few flings here and there. I have thought, something was bigger, than it actually was and I have had my heart broken more times, than I can count. I still feel like there is someone for me. Although, it's scary for me to allow a new man into my life and my heart. In my entire life, I think I have had my heart broken 3 times.... 1) My first love, when I was 14 (he left me for a girl that would have sex) 2) The man I lost my virginity to when I was 18 (he gave me an std and blamed me- wtf, I was a virgin). 3) My ex-Husband (he got another woman pregnant while travelling on business). These are the only men I have ever truly loved. Other men have affected me- but the aforementioned loves have shaped my perspective on love and relationships. I am a sabotager. I meet someone, develop feelings, and either screw it up, or dismiss them for something minor. I want to change that flaw in me- but I have had trouble doing so.
GAchasen Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 In my entire life, I think I have had my heart broken 3 times.... 1) My first love, when I was 14 (he left me for a girl that would have sex) 2) The man I lost my virginity to when I was 18 (he gave me an std and blamed me- wtf, I was a virgin). 3) My ex-Husband (he got another woman pregnant while travelling on business). These are the only men I have ever truly loved. Other men have affected me- but the aforementioned loves have shaped my perspective on love and relationships. I am a sabotager. I meet someone, develop feelings, and either screw it up, or dismiss them for something minor. I want to change that flaw in me- but I have had trouble doing so. It's difficult to trust again, when you have been disappointed so many times. I can relate.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I prefer to be in a relationship, even though I invest so much of myself in them that it's really hard on me when they end, and it takes me a long time to get over them. I was in relationships for most of my adult life till I ended my last one, in September 2008. I chose to be single for a year after that, dated someone for a few months once that year ended, and am now totally single again. I'm open to meeting someone cool, but I'm not looking or doing much to "put myself out there". Being single is hard and lonely sometimes. But single, I am facing things that I've never really faced before, because I never really had to. I am definitely learning a lot and maturing as person. And the invaluable lesson you learn when single is that you can take care of yourself, and you don't ever need to put up with poor treatment just to keep from being alone.
D-Lish Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 It's difficult to trust again, when you have been disappointed so many times. I can relate. It is, that is true- but life really is short! I just had my 40th birthday, and I am realizing more and more that I am getting to the point where I won't have "pretty" to fall back on. I still think there is something very romantic about being in love and growing old with one another. I truly believed I was going to have that with my ex-Husband- but now here I am, divorced, still too picky, and not ever meeting anyone that gives me butterflies. Wow, do I ever wish I could have those butterflies again...It's been so long. Butterflies are awesome- I have to admit, that's what I am seeking, it's just not happening.
Author Zeegagge Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Wow, some of you have been single for a really long time. I've only been single for 3 months and I hate it. Maybe I'll learn to be happy this way, but I doubt it. Really hoping to meet someone and fall in love again. I don't fear the pain anymore. I've built myself much stronger after each of my major heartbreaks and I just sort of take the pain as part of life. If love is a drug then pain is the come down, and I'm addicted. It makes me sad to hear that some won't let people in out of fear of that pain and distrust from past relationships. Myself, I am super loyal to my SO's and don't do things to hurt them. I love my serious partners so deeply and strongly that I fight to keep that alive, even in the face of adversity. There's other people like me out there too, and while we may be hard to find, I think we are worth looking for and letting in. I know it must be hard to trust again. I guess I may still have some trust issues from being cheated on in my last relationship. Even so, like I said, I'm an addict, and I will continue to seek out my high even in the face of the extreme pain that I've been through. It's just the way an addict thinks. I really wish a young lady would just show up at my door, right now, be everything I need and let me the love them like they've never been loved before. No one's knocking though. GAchasen, I take it by your screen name that you're from GA...? I'm from GA as well, although not living there at the moment. I will be back there within a few months probably. What's up from a southern gentleman!
Art_Critic Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I loved being single.. when I was.. not that i don't love being married.. I do.. When I was single and between relationships I always used that time to get to know myself better and do some projects around the houses. I was single back in 2003 and I finished off my basement.. it took me 6 months working till 1am after work each night but when I was done I was ready to date again.. The stories of projects like that I have done are quite a long list but i have always loved being single.. Today.. being married.. I love it but there isn't any more time for projects
nylorac Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I walk around just like you and i was married and adored by a man . i just didnt have the right chemistry for him . i was with him as he adored me. that got old . but i miss sooo much knowing someone adores me. its so good to feel that . i wish everyone could know what that is like and i wish we all had that. I am afraid i will never get that again Carolyn
bananaboat11 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 It is, that is true- but life really is short! I just had my 40th birthday, and I am realizing more and more that I am getting to the point where I won't have "pretty" to fall back on. I still think there is something very romantic about being in love and growing old with one another. I truly believed I was going to have that with my ex-Husband- but now here I am, divorced, still too picky, and not ever meeting anyone that gives me butterflies. Wow, do I ever wish I could have those butterflies again...It's been so long. Butterflies are awesome- I have to admit, that's what I am seeking, it's just not happening. Awwww Don't give up. Love is waiting for you
nylorac Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I cannot stand it. I feel to good and kind to be there out with the wolves. BUt i was married to a good man and divorced . i did the right thing. I realized we had no chemistry an dhe already met another. but me i keep dating yes as i guess i can get dates. but no one works out and i am very lonely and worried i will be tha tway forever. sad
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I can survive anything with a helmet, a life jacket and enough Mountain Dew. I'm currently sowing myself a raft out of banana leaves. I'm studying the tides and will be leaving as soon as they're right. Bring some tea, and I'll see you soon. I don't like tea so I have chosen to ignore this request/
counterman Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Even though I'm pretty happy with my life right now, I can relate to how you feel. I miss the feeling and the closeness of having someone. Someone who I can always do things with and talk to when I want to. Nothing compares to being in love and loved.
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 I feel like so many of you. I hate this ... so much. I loved having someone to love and who I thought loved me. Its not that I can't survive alone, I can....I just dont want to keep fighting through life alone, with no one who cares or who I can share things with. I just dont think anyone will ever make me feel that 'feeling' again. There are guys out there who say how great I am....of course they are all married. Everyone says dont give up...but today is another day...all alone. Work, eat, sleep, another day gone.
C-i-C-u Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 D-Lish, do you have any children? Even when I am in a relationship I still feel alone. A relationship has never changed that feeling of emptiness and misery. But at least when I am alone I can stay locked in my room. And to say that you have to be happy with yourself before you enter a relationship because a relationship can not make you happy has never known love. At least in my book.
nylorac Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 :(I am confused as to why it can end up being 11 years since i was with somoene. I have been dating this whole time. Hurting people . they have hurt me. I am at the point where i think wow i better prepare to be alone? But humans are not meant to be alone. I am afraid to get hurt again? I admit i have been super picky . But it was to protect from the hurt of a divorce. I feel a little more open to be hurt again now. But is this all worth it. I guess. As we humans need someone in our lives:mad:
GAchasen Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 We all wish the perfect person for us would show up at our door! Lol ..I agree on that:) Yes, I'm a Georgia girl. Small world...
GAchasen Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 It is, that is true- but life really is short! I just had my 40th birthday, and I am realizing more and more that I am getting to the point where I won't have "pretty" to fall back on. I still think there is something very romantic about being in love and growing old with one another. I truly believed I was going to have that with my ex-Husband- but now here I am, divorced, still too picky, and not ever meeting anyone that gives me butterflies. Wow, do I ever wish I could have those butterflies again...It's been so long. Butterflies are awesome- I have to admit, that's what I am seeking, it's just not happening. D-lish....I know...sometimes you just have to move on... I have to remind myself of that, also. scary about reaching a certain age and still being single. Remember on Sex in the City episode "The SCArY AGE"...lol. I'm right there with you on the "pretty". At the same time, I won't settle either. The butterflies are amazing! 40 is young! It's the new 30:)
Payden Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 One thing I do know from reading countless post on the subject of being single or married, is that I believe being single is a lot easier than being married. Being single you do not have to be lonely..you simply do NOT have to feel like this and you NEED to stop it, look at it and see that you do not need to feel it. This is what I am training my brain to do..I'm tired of being down on myself, feeling guilty, lonely and making myself suffer for it. I have talents and I am wasting my time not doing them in hopes for a stupid relationship that probably will never happen. What I say is screw it... I wanna do so much before I die and I haven't even done a fraction of it yet... I'm done wasting my time feeling bad and lonely for being single...It's time to get with it, get out there and strip naked, run through Wal-Mart and tell everyone .."Yiiipppeeeeee" God..I need to up my dosage.
Author Zeegagge Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Great, now Valentine's day is coming up. I'm seriously just going to start punching people in the face!
espec10001 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Dude don't. In the 4 years that I've been single, I learned how to play the guitar and I'm pretty good at it even did some open mics might go out and play in the spring more. I would have NEVER devoted so much time to learning how to play and now it is a source of so much joy and satisfaction in my life. The compliments, applause, and people asking for lessons is well worth it. You can find something to excel at too in the mean time between relationships!
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