Discovered We Had Sex On My B'day Which Was Also His Wedding Anniversary

[pureinheart]

Anyway GS, a welcome to the forum is in order....welcome! Just a suggestion, before you get too upset with ex MM, first take a look at why you had the A with him in the first place....he couldn't have been that bad of a guy.

 

We get mad, we get pissed, but yet the R happened. In looking back at prior R's I've realised that I was very hard on them....sure GS he has done some messed up stuff, but we all do and I am not making excuses for any of the messed up stuff that WE ALL do or are capable of, just saying it does happen.

 

If you loved him, there was a good reason, if his W loved him there is a good reason...

 

Forgive him, and yourself because you are worth it....

[pureinheart]

I broke it off with my exMM 2 months ago. The last time we had sex was on my birthday which I just found out was HIS wedding Anniversay.

 

I'm just venting...WTF! How low can a man go???

 

I think it was bad enough he was having an affair for 2.5 yrs but to also have sex with his AP on his wedding anniversary?? I'm guessing he's got absolutely no respect or regard for his wife or marriage. But then again, he wouldn't be having an Affair.

 

Wondering your thoughts...

 

P.S. For those of you trying to get out of your A, do yourself the favor, and do it!! Run, as fast as you can. For me, I had to hit rock bottom in the relationship for it to happen but I did it and I'm not turning back!

 

Just to add...I really do think that most men do have respect for both the W and OW. When I hear alot of the OW talk I think it is hurt and anger and the same for the BS's.

 

I wasn't an angry BS, although was a VERY angry OP...there IS a thin line between love and hate. I had felt I committed the ultimate sin against myself, although did I really?

 

I am finding that I did not, the timing may have been all wrong, although many good changes happened to my SO because of my influence and the influence of my family. We all showed him a different side of life, a side he had never seen.

 

GS, my biggest battle was me fighting me....me forgiving me

[GetSmart1967]

Anyway GS, a welcome to the forum is in order....welcome! Just a suggestion, before you get too upset with ex MM, first take a look at why you had the A with him in the first place....he couldn't have been that bad of a guy.

 

We get mad, we get pissed, but yet the R happened. In looking back at prior R's I've realised that I was very hard on them....sure GS he has done some messed up stuff, but we all do and I am not making excuses for any of the messed up stuff that WE ALL do or are capable of, just saying it does happen.

 

If you loved him, there was a good reason, if his W loved him there is a good reason...

 

Forgive him, and yourself because you are worth it....

 

Thanks for the welcome. I've been a lurker for as long as

I was in the affair. Never posted because I got a lot of answers from reading other posts. I can relate to pretty much all of you!

 

I've been through a lot emotionally because of this A and yes, I've forgiven myself because that's the only way I can move forward.

 

Guess, it was shocking to find out, he'd choose to make love to me the day of his Anniversary. As others have said, yeah, I thought it was a 'special' day between he and his wife. Thought maybe she meant enough for him to show a drop of respect to her and their marriage. He also barely said a bad word about her but he did say she was not interested in sex. Not that they never had sex, but she never initiated and as he said 'She couldn't care less about it'.

 

The thing that really bothered me, was that he never showed any remorse for the A. Even at the very end, he wanted to settle for anything he could get from me. Meaning, he was willing to 'be friends', no sex, no nothing. He just wanted to be in my company or just talk on the phone. That was enough for him. It was then I realized 'Boy, he really is a cake-eater!'

When I realized, there was no future between us, I couldn't continue.

 

It's done. It's over. I'm moving on. I feel free.

 

Thank you all for your responses.