cberry297 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So here I sit in the process of a Divorce I never saw coming and never wanted. I have been a stay at home mom and now I am a stay at home Grandma My kids are grown except for my son who is 16. I never knew anything but taking care of my husband and children. This family has been my whole life. I never had time for friends or going out and doing hobbies,because I wanted to make sure I was always here for my family. My Lawyer says I need to discover who I am. What my wants and needs are. I want to keep doing what I have done for twentyfive years, take care of my daughters kids while her and her husband work,take care of my son and my husband, I want my life back!!! I don't want to go to the bars, golfing ,bingo, ect whatever the hell it is people do. How do you discover yourself when you thought you allready knew who you were?
Steadfast Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Life often deals us a hand we don't want or are not prepared for. Marriage -life even- is almost like having a pet. No matter how loving and sweet it is, it's going to end. And when it does, we hurt. Even the best laid plans... The best advice I can give to illustrate this point come from the Bible. In Luke 12, a man asked Jesus if he could give some advice on gaining a family inheritance that he felt he was being cheated out of. Jesus replied to him that it was none of his business and not why he was there. Instead, he told this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be for anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Regardless of how one feels about God and Jesus, this advice shows what can -and will- happen to us if we're self-centered and our motivation is geared only towards making ourselves happy. It's the law of life and like it or not, we must learn the lesson and deal with it from that point on. Glad you're not interested in the bars, promoting yourself and thinking in terms of landing another man straight away. It's time for you to take stock of what is important to you outside the home and deal with your divorce. Please gather your thoughts and post them here with a few more details. What's behind the demise of your marriage? Where's your stbx? What are you planning to do for money? Why can't you care for your grandchildren?
TudorII Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Once a parent, always a parent. Your want and need to take care of your family does not have to go away. I think discovering yourself is not about what you do day to day...those are just things you do and not who you are. Now that your kids are older there is time for you to think about you and the things that maybe you have sacrificed or put aside so that you could focus on your family. For some that is finally taking those yoga classes, traveling, getting that 2 seater instead of the family min van. There are no wrong and rights it is just about finally taking some time to focus on you. You can still be a great mom and grandmother and still discover what life has to offer for you along the way. Try to think of it as an opportunityt to do it better as we have all made our mistakes along the way.
Author cberry297 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Life often deals us a hand we don't want or are not prepared for. Marriage -life even- is almost like having a pet. No matter how loving and sweet it is, it's going to end. And when it does, we hurt. Even the best laid plans... The best advice I can give to illustrate this point come from the Bible. In Luke 12, a man asked Jesus if he could give some advice on gaining a family inheritance that he felt he was being cheated out of. Jesus replied to him that it was none of his business and not why he was there. Instead, he told this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be for anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Regardless of how one feels about God and Jesus, this advice shows what can -and will- happen to us if we're self-centered and our motivation is geared only towards making ourselves happy. It's the law of life and like it or not, we must learn the lesson and deal with it from that point on. Glad you're not interested in the bars, promoting yourself and thinking in terms of landing another man straight away. It's time for you to take stock of what is important to you outside the home and deal with your divorce. Please gather your thoughts and post them here with a few more details. What's behind the demise of your marriage? Where's your stbx? What are you planning to do for money? Why can't you care for your grandchildren? Thank you for your inspiration. I can still care for my grandchildren, but not like I did everyday. I will have to get my own source of income now because spousal support won't be enough. I watched them from 7-7 now if I get a job I don't know when I will be able to care for them. Maybe there is another life outside this house, I just wasen't ready to exsplore it. But big world here I come!!
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