alwaysfeelingsad Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I have a very strange relationship. I am very much in love with the man I am with. The thing is he is very much a loner. So he doesn't talk, we have never been on a real date. We have been together for almost three years. And in tht time I lost my job and my apartment. So he let me move in with him and his mom. Well, the thing is I feel like because I have no where to go, and I am having a hard time finding a job he feels sorry for me. I feel invisible to him 99 percent of the time. We have had many fights about me wanting to be treated like a human being and at least being acknowledged. He says he is a loner and that's why he is quiet. And yet he talks to friends on the phone. Also the latest is, he needs privacy, so when he gets home from work, as long as his mom is asleep I have to go in livingroom for several hours. sometimes all he is doing is watching tv. Even if I were in the room with him he would be on computer or watching tv. I mean it could be four or more hours after we wake up for the day, and he hasn't said a word to me. I feel he doesn't want me here . and that I should go, but where do I go. Would it be better for me to live on the streets or to stay here and get more and more depressed every day?
Not the love ace Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Interesting situation. Well, the smart thing to do would be to get back on your feet with a job and get some income then find a place to move. Once you get a job and some money, you'll meet new people, have money to do more stuff and possibly go more places. Plus, it'll kill time from having to be home and depressed if you're boyfriend is going to be the way he is. Even if the job isn't the best job at least you'll be out working on your goals and improving your life. Once you have yourself situated, it would be wise to see if you would really want to be with him or not. There's no sense with being with someone if you're going to be miserable. There's no time to be wasting on someone who might just see you as an option or obstacle rather than a priority. So that's the first thing I suggest you do. Get a job and some money and make your move onto your own life. Its really the only thing you can do. You have the option to make something of the situation, don't waste it.
Author alwaysfeelingsad Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 That's exactly what I have been doing for a year. And no luck so far finding a job. I am really losing my mind, more and more I think I would be better off dead. The only thing that stops me is my two daughters. Today is the perfect example of a bad day. He woke up hasn't said one word to me and left for work. Mind you he kisses me goodbye. But to me that's missed signals. Am I wrong?
whichwayisup Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 What is it that you love about this guy? I think HE is making you depressed. You may chemically "love" him, but on another level, what does he do for you? Doesn't talk to you..Ignores you, makes you feel invisible and a bother, like he feels sorry for you. Honestly, you'd be better off moving back home, or with a girl friend. ANYONE but him! This guy has no social skills, either. Maybe he hates people in general and is picky, but he is NOT normal... Could you imagine marrying him, having kids with him - Knowing full well this is the sort of man he is? Don't let fear get in the way. Sure it's scary to be alone, try something new, change your life..Just seems this guy is your safety net and he isn't really helping except that you have a place to stay. You can find a job, do anything! Even if it isn't in your field, or what you know, again, dont' let fear of the unknown, or fear of failure, get in your way.
whichwayisup Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 How does he interact with your daughters? Sorry I didn't read that part of your post when I replied. Anyway, this guy can't be the ONLY person in your life. Do you have family? Aunts, uncles, siblings? Friends?
Author alwaysfeelingsad Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 How does he interact with your daughters? Sorry I didn't read that part of your post when I replied. Anyway, this guy can't be the ONLY person in your life. Do you have family? Aunts, uncles, siblings? Friends? Well my older daughter disowned me awhile ago. I talk to my youngest everyday on phone. They used to get along great until my older daughter turned my youngest against me and they made youtube videos trashing me, he said he can't ever forgive her for treating me that way. I talk to his mom, she says he has been this way since he was hurt by a woman he was with for 10 years. I don't plan on ever getting married again, and I can't have any more children. No, I have noone left to go too. My mom passed in 2007.
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