tiKiman Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Okay, I've been reading the net regarding online dating and from what I have gathered so far, men and women are often times very picky. That of course is justified. That being said, I know that I am not exactly the top contender for a date. I already have insecurities about my race and physical appearance (no I am not Quasimodo), but it is also my current social status that is also bringing down my self-esteem. I am 22 and in college but still living at home. I know college is where I am supposed to be right now but it is just the fact that I am in college that is scaring me. It has been 3 years and I still haven't been able to muster up the courage to ask out or even converse with a girl. I've read that women tend to skip over men who are short. I am 5'8 and I know that is short but that is okay since I know not all women judge based on height. I'm pretty confident with my figure and face and so I guess my main concern is that of my current occupation and living status. My friends call me a professional bum and I guess that's pretty true. So are there any guys out there who are in the same position as I am? How do you fair in both the dating and online dating game? And of course, what do you ladies have to say to an insecure 22 year old college kid still living with mommy and daddy?
motive2002 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I had all kinds of game at 22, and I was living with Mom and Dad at the time. Of course at 22 I was dating girls that were just out of high school and maybe attending a little college themselves, so it's not like they had their life all figured out either. Now at 38 I still don't have it all figured out. I never really did choose what might be in others' minds a "solid" career path. It matters to some but not all. Don't pigeon hole yourself just yet. By the way, I'm also 5'8"
Satisfaction Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 There are plenty of girls living at home with mom and dad also. Shouldn't make a difference. But why are you just wandering around? What do you want to do with your life? Is there anything you like doing that you can also earn a living from? and by that i mean earning enough so you can pay your own bills and go on holidays and pay for stuff you are interested in.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 When I was 22, I dated a 24-yo still living with mom and dad. And he wasn't even in school. He was an EMT and he also had a part-time job on the side. It didn't occur to me to find it strange at that age. Hmm. I lived at home until I was 23 and the only reason I finally left was to move to another state with my SO at the time (whom I married a year later). At your age, I don't understand why it would be a big deal - thinking back on when I WAS your age (I'm 29, now).
OpenGL Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I already have insecurities about my race and physical appearance (no I am not Quasimodo), but it is also my current social status that is also bringing down my self-esteem. I'll tell you right now, if you aren't white or very white looking you're better off using a speciality site or not doing online dating at all. Right now online dating is a very white specific thing. I'm not sure how long it will be until that changes. I've read that women tend to skip over men who are short. I am 5'8 and I know that is short but that is okay since I know not all women judge based on height About 90% of women will skip over you because of your height. The 10% that don't will be morbidly obese.
Author tiKiman Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 hmm, well thanks for all the helpful information I guess I should stop bumming around eh? If only my parents were not so traditionally Asian to opengl, yea, I am fully aware of my physical limitations and have decided to just get over it and be happy with what I have and can have. Life is hard enough without me bringing myself down. But if you ARE right about online dating, then... dang.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 to opengl, yea, I am fully aware of my physical limitations and have decided to just get over it and be happy with what I have and can have. Life is hard enough without me bringing myself down. But if you ARE right about online dating, then... dang. Eh, OpenGL is our resident woah-is-me-let's-throw-a-pity-party-and-be-sad-at-life guy...don't let it get you down...
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Eh, OpenGL is our resident woah-is-me-let's-throw-a-pity-party-and-be-sad-at-life guy...don't let it get you down... http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/race-and-dating/ http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/racialPreferences.pdf http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/comment-page-7/
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/race-and-dating/ http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/racialPreferences.pdf http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/comment-page-7/ Heh, OpenGL, I don't deny your assertions about race and dating one bit. I used to be you... I'm just trying to get away from that mindset... Too many people have told me that I need to get over it...and they're right...
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Heh, OpenGL, I don't deny your assertions about race and dating one bit. I used to be you... I'm just trying to get away from that mindset... Too many people have told me that I need to get over it...and they're right... The OP asked and I'm just presenting him with the facts.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) I can only speak for myself as a woman, but I could care less if you are White, Asian, African American, Purple, Green, or Blue. When I got into online dating, I didn't only go for white guys simply because I'm white. Funny enough, my bf (whom I met online) told me when he was clicking through the profiles, he gave preference to women who were not white. I was the only white girl he even considered. Perhaps my bf and I are weird or something, but honestly, neither one of us care what race somebody happens to be. As for living at home at 22, it was no big deal for me at that age. I'm now 30. I had plenty of male and female friends who lived at home while going to school who had very active dating lives. Edited January 20, 2010 by Crazy Magnet forgot to address the OP
Author tiKiman Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Hmm, I've read thourgh the four links and I must say I am already aware of that info. It sucks and I honestly don't think we can do anything about it. No amount of complaining and self-pitying will do anything. My main concern is whether or not people will overlook my online profile because of my occupation. I suppose it all depends on the individual.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Hmm, I've read thourgh the four links and I must say I am already aware of that info. It sucks and I honestly don't think we can do anything about it. No amount of complaining and self-pitying will do anything. My main concern is whether or not people will overlook my online profile because of my occupation. I suppose it all depends on the individual. Yes, the info about our modern society may be true, but there is plenty you can do about it...instead of wallowing in your own self-pity, you can do lots of things to improve yourself and climb out of the stereotype... So let's take the stereotypical Asian for example...so if you were born woefully frail with goofy hair...in that case, hit the gym and get a d*mn haircut...set yourself apart...make yourself someone worth dating...give women a reason to not even notice your race and see your awesomeness. As far as your occupation, everyone knows that people your age are still in school and working towards establishing a career. Don't sweat it. "Student" in the occupation block is just fine for someone in their early 20's.
Confusedalways Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 no big... I'm the same age you are, and wouldn't think anything of it if a 22 or 23 year old was living at home. 24 becomes iffy, and 25 you should be out, in my opinion.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 no big... I'm the same age you are, and wouldn't think anything of it if a 22 or 23 year old was living at home. 24 becomes iffy, and 25 you should be out, in my opinion. I agree, but in today's "situation", it's more common to see adults living at home...my ex lived at her parents' home while we were dating...she's 26...I wouldn't think much of it...
BobSacamento Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 If you are over 25, not in school and living at home, it tells me at least one thing - you are unable to budget your money.
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