Booter Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So this is my first post, and I am hoping that I can get some feedback on this issue. My ex and I broke up about 7 months ago after a solid 4 year relationship. We both decided that we need to have some time apart and make sure that this is what we really want. It wasn't a break up about us not loving eachother but more of a breakup about me going through a rough time in my life and not really spending the time on us that I should have been. As we went on the first couple weeks of our break up she started to see other people she spent alot of time with a mutual friend of ours and she told me the day after it happend that she slept with him, needless to say this upset me and I didn't think much about it. soon after this she quit seeing that friend for awhile and began spending time with another mutual friend of ours. at this point I didn't care and was ready to move on. We didn't talk for a few months after she began seeing the second guy. I moved to a different town which is about 2 hours away from her, and was ready to not talk to her anymore. But recently I have been running into a lot of situations that have lead me to her, one being me wrecking my truck a week after she wrecked her car. Is that coincidence? after this particular incident we began talking a little more, just small talk and keeping it simple, this went on for about a month or so before we started talking about us getting back together. She says she cant see herself being with anyone else but me, but she just cant deal with a long term relationship. and to add to this she is still seeing that "friend" of ours. She calls me just about everyday to talk and we talk about a lot more than just everyday things a lot of the time. I care about her a lot and I want to get together with her, but I am not sure if its worth putting up with her being there with him and me being her for a few more months untill she moves her. Also on top of that shes constantly telling me that she doens't want to get involved seriously with anyone else because shes afraid of ruing chances of "us". So with this I am unsure as to whether or not she is staying close to me because she is afraid of me being gone for good and is scared of a new relationship, or if she truly just needs more time for herself before getting back together with me. I appreciate any comments.
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Hmmmm.... She doesn't see herself dating anyone else....but she's still seeing this other guy....? Tell me... don't you smell a rat, here?
Author Booter Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 haha yeah, you could say rat...or is it that im expecting to much to early? should I just back off and let her do what shes going to do...and if she truly wants me back then she will get rid of him for good ....idk its a hard situation to deal with right now...
TaraMaiden Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 No actually, really, it's not. You stop being in her life, period. you go no contact, and block her every which way possible, until and unless this happens: *"Dear Booter, I'm so sorry I have been playing tricks with your mind. I've really come to the decision that you are the one and only guy for me. I can't think of spending another day without you, and you alone. Can you ever forgive me for the way I've treated you? Please let me try again, and I will do whatever it takes to win back your trust and confidence, and be the GF you'd love me to be, because you are definitely the only man in my heart!!"* Until you hear this - or the same thing, if maybe just worded differently - you steer clear, leave her alone and let her play her games in somebody else's head. Read the No Contact Guide in my signature, and understand that this is the only way you can regain control of what's happening to you.
aerogurl87 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I agree with everything TaraMaiden said. ^^^ Until you hear her say 1) she made a big mistake, 2) she loves and only wants to be with YOU and 3) she will do whatever it takes to make things work, steer clear of her. If all three of those things aren't heard you're just setting yourself up for another heartbreak.
samspade Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 OP, you're lucky to have such wise young ladies giving you advice here in TaraMaiden and aerogurl. I agree, cut her off and move on. Someone who loves you doesn't break up and sleep with a mutual friend - then rub your face in it. Don't let her play you like a cheap violin any more. You're too vulnerable right now for this. Be a man, accept that it's over, and move forward with the rest of your life!
USMCHokie Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Booter...you've got to "boot...her"... ...I'll be here all night, be sure to tip your waitresses!
capulsky Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Agree with taramaiden on this one....If your ex has been with this guy since basically you have broke up then it will be hard for her to just get rid of him....as she has probably gotten used to spending time with him and doing things with him....and that jsut isn't possible for her to do so conveniently if you guys are 2 hours away...although 2 hours is nothing for a couple who truly are devoted to eachother....anyway dont talk to her...she sounds like a lost little girl....who knows exactly what she is doing to you!!! so dont play nice with her ...if anything were to ever work out on this one it would be if you shut her off for good....dont let her in so easily....make her prove to you that she wants you back....and if this works out then there might be a chance....but untill then boot her booter
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