star10 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. . We are in a sense "good" for each other. He is my best friend to date, and yet i have so many little issues that never bothered me as much till now. It's little secrets and white lies. Right now we both live with our parents, though looking for an apartment this coming year. But, little white lies he tells bothers me. Things like "im going to bed" but really he will be up till 3am looking at things on the internet. Thats just something minuscule that really isnt important, But what bothers me the most is, we have soooo many issues regarding the internet. keep in mind, He has a natural tendency to attract any woman. but My problem is..I am insecure and not trust worthy of him on the internet. I've had many issues were he get's emails from live webcam sex websites which he quotes "ive never been on those websites" yet they have his creditcard number and profile information describing him exactly to the dot....humm? yea okaY! Or e-mails from some random website where he is telling other woman "how adorable and cute" they are, and denying he every heard of that website or accusing me of creating it to sabotage the relationship...WHY WHY can't he just tell me and admit that he did those things. I am such a calm person. I may get upset but I am not going to start screaming and throwing things. It's so relieving to hear the truth and when i catch a lie, it sets me so far back from trusting i dont know how to tell him to tell me the truth...i could list an endless number of things that bother me but the real issue is why he feels he has to lie when he is guilty. I may be upset but I want to go to bed at night truly knowing the truth was told and not a cover up story like "spam e-mails sent them to me" or "your clearly psycho to think i'd every do that" Ive tried to discuss this with him but he truley sticks to his stories and believes these uneblieveable lies. It's really disgusting how he believes himself. And its hurting me, I dont know how to trust....but it's impossible not to love him. It just doesnt fit...none of it. We argue, he yells at me says "i'm always checking up on him"...which is true due to petty lies that make me feel worse is around the corner..and yet the next day i get an apology and sorries but still he sticks to his stories. it's all a bandaid. i can't do bandaids. How do i say "tell me the truth"
2sunny Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 in these cases - he is telling the truth - his actions tell you exactly what is going on. don't believe the words - those are where the lies are. question is - what are you going to do about it?
cody5 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 1 - You both live with your parents. You must be young. Move on. That is a bad thing he does. These are not little things. If it was just late night porn instead of you, that would be bad enough. But he is connecting with other people. Get away from him. Deceit, potential disease, lies. Get away. I know it's hard. 2 - The lies. You just signed up today? 1 Post? Spend some time on this and other sites reading what people have to say. The lies that are told and intended to be believed will make your head spin. I don't know if the liar is so stupid that they think they will be believed or what. There's a textbook out there. It's not long. Too incredible to believe lies are in there.
OnlyJake Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 You don't need him to "tell" you the truth; his actions say it all. Stop lying to yourself.
torranceshipman Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Whats the point in getting him to tell the truth at this stage, when it is blatantly obvious that he is trawling sex sites, lying to you and flirting heavily (at the very least) with other women? You KNOW what he is doing already and it's totally skanky. MOVE ON! Don't move in with this guy-it'd be a disaster.
Quest Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 This is how you are feeling and you haven't moved in with him ... imagine how much worse you'd feel trying to be in committed relationship with someone like this. He's totally untrustworthy and lies with ease ... how many more red flags do you need? It really isn't 'impossible not to love' someone like this. With a bit of distance you'll wonder why you ever wanted to be with such a low-life.
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