monkerz9 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 My bf and I have been in a relationship now for over 3 1/2 years. He just graduated from college and I will be graduating this May. We've always had minor issues with LD, but this time our distance is indefinite. He will be coming back for my graduation and I'm most likely going to see him over my spring break, however that's still 2 months away. We've been apart for roughly a month now and things are starting to go sour(at least for me). We have time-zone differences, which makes this all much more complicated. My largest issue that I have continually had is his lack of emotion. To me this should all be more than just saying 'I love you' as apart of a routine. How can I cope with his lack of expression? I'm a deep romantic, however he proves to be less and less of one everytime we talk. Phone calls have become boring and it seems as if we're just friends anymore. I confronted him today about needing him to show his love, excitement to see me in march and express that he does miss me. But what if this doesn't change? Should I stick it out? This is my most crucial semester in college and I can't be an emotional train-wreck every other week. Any advice is welcome, please help. I love him to death and don't want the distance to ruin what we have.
gracielou Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Its hard but it can work. My fiance and I met in college, but I was a year older so I moved to california for graduate school while he was still finishing college in Boston for a year... 3 hour time-zone difference. Even though he has graduated he is still there because of a job offer. But we will be ending the distance hopefully in July if not sooner. It has been difficult to adjust to LDR. I need a lot of attn and affection, which is hard when you are only talking on skype every night. My fiance isn't as spontaneous nor a huge romatic which was hard, but thats who he is and I learned to respect that . Instead I would write him long emails at night before i went to bed to tell him how much i love him. I had to learn to look for the little things he did to show that he cared. He has slowly figured out that a spontaneous gift of flowers from him rocks my world. And now when he does it im even more surprised and it means so much more to me. If you are both committed to making the relationship work than it will. But its effort from both of you. You also need to figure out how to make it work for each of you. My fiance and I spent prolly the first 6months figuring out what what works for us as a couple and what didn't along with what we needed from each other. It was a lot of mistakes and arguments and miscommunications, but we have figured it out. As for coping with different time-zones... thats always been a challenge. we have a set talk time, if either one of us has to change the time we try to notify the other person as far in advance as possible to try and work another time out. Its difficult its hard but its possible. It depends on if you both want it
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