Patty Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) Ok so I ran into that guy that was at my work the other week ago.I now know who he is.He asks me"did they tell you I stopped in your work last week?" I said "yes" He then says " "Call me sometime".So Im thinking ok.I'll wait a few days.Still havent called.Im to nervous.I mean I know what Im going to ask him and everything.I just want to sound friendly when I call.I want him to know that I'm interested too.I want to call and afraid to make a fool out of myself.Im scared he might not feel the same way as me.What if I call and a lady answers? Do I say "Oh I must have the wrong number?.I dont want to wait to long to call,cause I dont want him to think im not interested.So Ill try to call tommorow and Im nervous and scared to call. He kept asking me the hours I work.He keeps talking to me when we meet outside.He seems to show signs of interest.Im still all confused. Edited January 18, 2010 by Patty
Angel1111 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I'm confused, too - especially as to why he can't call you. Any time a guy tells me to call him, he loses. Are you calling him about something business-related, or just thinking of calling because he told you to?
Author Patty Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I'm confused, too - especially as to why he can't call you. Any time a guy tells me to call him, he loses. Are you calling him about something business-related, or just thinking of calling because he told you to? Well cause I know he told me to and he doesnt work there he just happened to stop there for lunch one day cause he kept telling me he would.I could wait longer to call its already almost 6 days and Im afraid if I wait to long he will think Im just not interested.
Angel1111 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So, because he said to call him, you're fretting over this and worrying that he might think you're not interested? And you don't even know if he's interested in your or if he has a gf? I'd let him worry that he's a dummy for asking a girl to call when I'll bet his fingers can dial the phone just fine. He knows where you work, right? Then he knows the name of the company and he could figure it out. Or, amazingly enough, he could've just asked you for your number. I know this may sound trite to you, but be cautious of men who do this kind of thing. If he's interested in you, he'll figure out how to get in touch. And he won't stop being interested just because you don't call. I don't recommend that you call him. He's putting you in an awkward position by asking you to do this since you don't know what you'll be diving into.
Author Patty Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 So, because he said to call him, you're fretting over this and worrying that he might think you're not interested? And you don't even know if he's interested in your or if he has a gf? I'd let him worry that he's a dummy for asking a girl to call when I'll bet his fingers can dial the phone just fine. He knows where you work, right? Then he knows the name of the company and he could figure it out. Or, amazingly enough, he could've just asked you for your number. I know this may sound trite to you, but be cautious of men who do this kind of thing. If he's interested in you, he'll figure out how to get in touch. And he won't stop being interested just because you don't call. I don't recommend that you call him. He's putting you in an awkward position by asking you to do this since you don't know what you'll be diving into. Yea,thats true.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 This sort of thing happened to me recently. Guy gave me his number and told me to call him. I just said straight away "here is my number, I would like it if you call me". As of now he is yet to call...but at least the ball is in his court.
O'Malley Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I disagree that giving his phone number in itself is a bad sigh; he may believe that some women aren't comfortable giving out their numbers to near strangers. He simply may be a more hesitant person, or he's responding this way due to your shyness or nervousness. If you are interested, call him, just keep the conversation light and brief. Ask him if he'd like to grab some coffee or drinks with you (at a specific time). If he turns you down or hedges, no harm done and you can write him off. You'll always wonder what might have developed if you don't take some initiative.
Left in a Lurch Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I know this may sound trite to you, but be cautious of men who do this kind of thing. If he's interested in you, he'll figure out how to get in touch. And he won't stop being interested just because you don't call. I don't recommend that you call him. He's putting you in an awkward position by asking you to do this since you don't know what you'll be diving into. I don't know, I think being adult a woman can call if she is interested too. There is no reason she has to play by that rule of the game. He's not putting her in any more akward of a position than you are expecting of him. She seems pretty interested in him, you can't always get what you want if you sit back and expect everything to just come to you just because you have a vagina. Women can make an effort too, and they can lose out by being too 'special' to call someone they are interested in. She sounds like she comes across as nervous in front of him based on her posts, she may be sending a lot of mixed signals. Telling her to call him gives her control of the contact, nothing wrong with that. I just think it's kind of dumb to pass on what might be the greatest relationship of your life just because you don't call men as a rule. From previous posts the OP seems shy and a little withdrawn and her nervousness is probably costing her a lot of chances at meeting somebody. Take a chance and call him or sit there and hope opportunities will just keep falling in your lap, and a few years from now you can sit there alone and think about what could have been.
Angel1111 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I don't know, I think being adult a woman can call if she is interested too. There is no reason she has to play by that rule of the game. He's not putting her in any more akward of a position than you are expecting of him. I think it's very bad policy for a guy to tell a woman to call him. Usually when a guy does this, it's because he's controlling, not that interested, on an ego trip, or any number of things. If this was a woman that he was really, really interested in, he wouldn't let her slip away, and I doubt that he'd do this. The bottom line is that it's lazy, and it has put her in the hot seat. Also, one of the reasons she's nervous about calling him is because she's afraid that a woman might answer, and she's not sure if he's attracted to her or what. So she's going through all these scenarios in her head because she doesn't know what she's stepping into. So, you see, it would've been much simpler and smarter on his part to just call her and be done with all the guesswork. I agree that a woman can call a man - but in the beginning of a relationship, he should not expect her to take steps to pursue the relationship.
Author Patty Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Thx to everyone that replied.All the posts were very informative.I was just thinking of trying something that might make things a little easier.Heres what I thought of.I call him and let the phone ring once or twice then hang up, then if he has caller ID he can at least see that I called.I dont know just an idea.Then he could get my number off his caller ID.
Left in a Lurch Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Thx to everyone that replied.All the posts were very informative.I was just thinking of trying something that might make things a little easier.Heres what I thought of.I call him and let the phone ring once or twice then hang up, then if he has caller ID he can at least see that I called.I dont know just an idea.Then he could get my number off his caller ID. Terrible idea. If you are interested, just be an adult and call him. In high school I had girls call me and hang up and I thought that was childish then. He will probably not see your number and say, "Hey that must be Patty, I better call her back!". If he knows it's you he will think it was very weird to call and not leave a message or that you hung up after 2 rings. He will think you chickened out like a little girl. Honestly you are acting like a scared little schoolgirl, not a woman. That is a big turn off. Call him up, he will answer, and say, "Hi, it's Patty. I just thought I'd call." If you can't do that you are not ready for an adult relationship. Get all the fantasy garbage you have built up about him being married, not interested.... out of your head. He'll lead the conversation if you call him and you need to understand that he's going to be happy that you called, so get courage from that. It's obvious you are interested and if you wait too long you WILL blow it. Just do it and stop thinking about failure.
Author Patty Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Terrible idea. If you are interested, just be an adult and call him. In high school I had girls call me and hang up and I thought that was childish then. He will probably not see your number and say, "Hey that must be Patty, I better call her back!". If he knows it's you he will think it was very weird to call and not leave a message or that you hung up after 2 rings. He will think you chickened out like a little girl. Honestly you are acting like a scared little schoolgirl, not a woman. That is a big turn off. Call him up, he will answer, and say, "Hi, it's Patty. I just thought I'd call." If you can't do that you are not ready for an adult relationship. Get all the fantasy garbage you have built up about him being married, not interested.... out of your head. He'll lead the conversation if you call him and you need to understand that he's going to be happy that you called, so get courage from that. It's obvious you are interested and if you wait too long you WILL blow it. Just do it and stop thinking about failure. I finally called! Everything turned out good.Am glad I did!
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