Lethalstorm76 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Everything started back in September of 2008. I met a girl through a online game we both played called Everquest 2. I always avoided this kind of thing as I thought distance relationships would never work out favorably. Her voice was so wonderful to my ears, and the more time we spent together doing things, the more I began to have feelings for her. One day I decided to try and take a step forward with her and started asking about more personal things, like her real name, where she lived, etc. When she told me she lived in Canada I kind of felt my hopes sink as I live in the Southeast United States, but we still hung out and continued to explore this attraction to one another. Around Christmas of '08 we were talking everyday on the phone, the game, emails. We started sending random photos, and eventually things became intimate. Again, my better judgement was warning me against it, but she was so beautiful and we had so much in common, it was just so hard not to fall for her. It was around this time we both admitted being in love with the other. 2009 came and we started making plans. She was a nurse and could pretty much find work in that field anywhere she chose. She wanted to come visit and see if everything went well, then we would go from there. We began to discuss our possible future together, marriage, kids, everything. I believed we were two people who were completely in love. It was agreed we would meet for the first time in April. Everything was fine. She and I still played the game together, spoke on the phone for long periods of time, and were intimate together. I told her everything. I began finding out more about her. She had been in an abusive relationship with a man who was very controlling of her and would beat her when he didn't like what she did. He would monitor her whereabouts, her money, her weight. She finally got away from him and moved back home as she had moved to Atlanta, Georgia with him. When April came she told me she might not be able to make the original planned flight, as she had to have surgery on her nose to clear up a problem she had been experiencing from where the guy had broken her nose. Sure enough, she had the surgery and told me her doctor said no flights. I didn't question her, as she had given me no reason to disbelieve her up to this point. Hard times hit me in June of that same year and I lost my job, my apartment, and pretty much all of my finances. For the next few months it was all I could do to get by and still be on the game with her, but I managed. I was living with family with very little room, so we were forced to hold off meeting until my situation improved. Around September, things started to look up for me and I started improving my situation, and finally got back on my feet. I had my own place again, was working full-time, and even bought her a beautiful pair of earrings and matching necklace for her birthday in October. Everything seemed fine. Then she started spending less time with me in the game, and even less on the phone. I would ask her if everything was alright and she would say that she still loved me but couldn't commit to me 100%. She was afraid we would never meet. I tried to get her to let me go see her, or her come here, but she resisted. I began to suspect she was talking to someone else and not being honest with me. What I found out was absolutely devestating. One of her friends in the game told me how she had been talking to another guy that played also, for the past year, making plans with him to go see him and everything. I confronted her about telling me the truth about everything, and she hit me with another bomb: She was having feelings for someone else, and not the guy I had been told about. The guy I was told about from the friend messaged me the next day in the game and we started talking about all the things she had been saying to both of us for an entire year, and how eerily similar they sounded. She had been telling this guy she loved him, called him all the pet names she had been calling me, everything right down to flying out to meet him, but she couldn't because of some story about how her ex worked at the Atlanta airport and she wasn't allowed to go there because of the restraining order she had against him. I was amazed and hurt so deeply. The more I found out, the worse it got. There was another man she had been talking to for the past 3 months leading up to this, even so far as having phone sex with him, which she finally admitted to me. After taking some time apart from her, I logged back on the game the other day and a mutual friend told me that my 'ex' wasn't doing so well. Out of concern, I asked her if she was ok, and we started talking again. I thought I was over her at this point, but she began sending me mixed signals. Three days ago she told me she loved me and always will, but that she wants to be alone now. She says she cannot forgive herself for hurting me and taking me for granted, and she doesn't want to hurt anyone else. She said she wants me to move on and forget about her, because she is not a good person anymore and wants me to be happy. I haven't contacted her since then, but it is killing me. I truly love this woman, but she doesn't seem to want me anymore.
Sadgati Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 You have answered your own question. It is time to move on and let go. She has even said she doesn't want you. Her idea of love isn't love...she was playing you. The woman you THOUGHT you loved isn't who she pretended to be. She played games with each one of you and is completely untrustworthy.
Author Lethalstorm76 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 I just don't understand how a person can string someone along for such a long period of time when she could have easily told me at any point that she didn't want to be with me. It's not like I could have made it difficult for her. She kept saying things like, I love you and I always will, and she didn't know what she had until she said goodbye. Is she trying to make it easier on me or just trying to confuse me more?
Sadgati Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I just don't understand how a person can string someone along for such a long period of time when she could have easily told me at any point that she didn't want to be with me. It's not like I could have made it difficult for her. She kept saying things like, I love you and I always will, and she didn't know what she had until she said goodbye. Is she trying to make it easier on me or just trying to confuse me more? I think she just got caught by all of you and is trying to make herself look better. It has nothing to do with you or what is easier on you. I believe she did enjoy the attention you gave her as it built her ego up...but, ultimately IMHO, that was all it was for her. You are a good person who can find someone better...you will love again!
Author Lethalstorm76 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Moving on is not easy at all. I fell in love with this girl so completely that I was convinced she was the only one I would ever need. I spent more than a year of my life with her, talking with her, never running out of things to say to each other, making each other happy. It is true we were never physically together, but we were practically inseparable. Part of me wants to think that if I gave her time, she would want me in her life again, that she just needs the time to forgive herself for what she did to me. I just don't know what to do aymore.
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