Anyone else dating an extremely attractive person?

January 18, 2010

If you wanna skip the story: Main question in last paragraph.

Wanted to post this to get the feedback. I have been dating a very,very attractive girl for several months now. Exclusive, just her and I. When I met her she had guys chasing her constantly, everywhere she went. Hell, I was attracted to her too lol! Guys calling all hours of the night, texting, IM, giving her flowers, jewelry, cards, letters,...on and on.

She was single and looking. Seemed every guy could sense it. We met through friends and hung out in groups with friends but we were drawn to each other. A couple of months after knowing each other we started dating and sparks flew, I guess you could say. We are a perfect match. She has stopped answering the phone when other guys call, doesn't respond to their texts or emails or IMs. She tells me she's mine and is never gonna leave. Awwww

But she still gets chased by guys, daily. Always. She is very friendly and smiles and flirts along with them enjoying the attention, which she has gotten like that her whole life. When we go out, some guy WILL approach her. lol Even if I am there, doesn't matter. Strangers still walk up to us and say something like, "OMG, you are so beautiful!" or "Let me have your number baby! You need a guy like me."

I feel some jealousy sometimes when I feel she goes overboard on flirting back. Why is that? She doesnt do anything except talk to them. She arrived with me and will leave with me. She will sleep with me that night and wake up beside me. Why is it I get jealous sometimes? It bothers me that I feel that way.

Any others dating an super hot, sexy person who simply attracts attention wherever they go? How do you deal with the attention? Do you get jealous?

Edited January 18, 2010 by empty906

January 18, 2010

Hmmm....sounds as if it might not be the fact that she is so beautiful that is the problem - more like she might be flirting too much, which is disrespectful. Sounds like you really have her on a pedestal - do you let her get away with whatever she wants, or do you have good boundaries? And would you say you are upset about her flirting because a) it is just jealousy and she is just having normal conversations or b) she is flirting in front of you? The latter is out of order, no matter how attractive she may or may not be.

January 18, 2010

When a guy approaches with you right there and says "you need a guy like me"?

Do you ignore him and let her respond? Because if she says anything other then "thanks but I am taken" that is disrespectful to you. Does she want you to fight for her? Seriously. She might.

If you wanna skip the story: Main question in last paragraph.

Wanted to post this to get the feedback. I have been dating a very,very attractive girl for several months now. Exclusive, just her and I. When I met her she had guys chasing her constantly, everywhere she went. Hell, I was attracted to her too lol! Guys calling all hours of the night, texting, IM, giving her flowers, jewelry, cards, letters,...on and on.

She was single and looking. Seemed every guy could sense it. We met through friends and hung out in groups with friends but we were drawn to each other. A couple of months after knowing each other we started dating and sparks flew, I guess you could say. We are a perfect match. She has stopped answering the phone when other guys call, doesn't respond to their texts or emails or IMs. She tells me she's mine and is never gonna leave. Awwww

But she still gets chased by guys, daily. Always. She is very friendly and smiles and flirts along with them enjoying the attention, which she has gotten like that her whole life. When we go out, some guy WILL approach her. lol Even if I am there, doesn't matter. Strangers still walk up to us and say something like, "OMG, you are so beautiful!" or "Let me have your number baby! You need a guy like me."

I feel some jealousy sometimes when I feel she goes overboard on flirting back. Why is that? She doesnt do anything except talk to them. She arrived with me and will leave with me. She will sleep with me that night and wake up beside me. Why is it I get jealous sometimes? It bothers me that I feel that way.

Any others dating an super hot, sexy person who simply attracts attention wherever they go? How do you deal with the attention? Do you get jealous?

January 18, 2010

Hmmm....sounds as if it might not be the fact that she is so beautiful that is the problem - more like she might be flirting too much, which is disrespectful. Sounds like you really have her on a pedestal - do you let her get away with whatever she wants, or do you have good boundaries? And would you say you are upset about her flirting because a) it is just jealousy and she is just having normal conversations or b) she is flirting in front of you? The latter is out of order, no matter how attractive she may or may not be.

Exactly...

January 18, 2010

I would agree that she sounds more "friendly" than she should be and that is what garners the attention. Strangers usually won't flirt with a woman accompanying another man unless given encouragement. If she is encouraging their attention, it is disrespectful to you.

January 18, 2010

She sounds like a disrespectful wench. She should not be flirting with other men. Period.

Man up and tell her to start acting like your girlfriend, right now she thinks you're just her toy, and unless you do something about it, this is going to end badly, with your heart being very broken and her banging some other dude while you cry.

January 18, 2010

Sounds like you really have her on a pedestal - do you let her get away with whatever she wants, or do you have good boundaries?

I do have her on a pedestal. I hadn't thought about it that way before. Hmmm...

She doesn't to anything and everything she wants but I do spoil her. Boundaries? She is very faithful and she doesn't get physical with her flirting (no touching) but she is free to talk with whoever, that's no problem with me.

And would you say you are upset about her flirting because a) it is just jealousy and she is just having normal conversations or b) she is flirting in front of you? The latter is out of order, no matter how attractive she may or may not be.

She does flirt in front of me but she is always with me. We are always together enjoying ourselves. The flirting only seems to bother me at certain times. It really doesn't bother me that guys approach her and she talks to them. Just being friendly. The times that bother me are when she is in a flirty, playful mood. But it really shouldn't bother me, she is only talking to him. And I am right there so she isn't saying anything out of line.

But I will flirt too when approached. I dont mean anything by it but I will talk to a girl with her standing by me if the girl starts a convo. But I don't approach them, neither does she.

I know she doesn't mean anything by it either.

January 18, 2010

If you wanna skip the story: Main question in last paragraph.

Wanted to post this to get the feedback. I have been dating a very,very attractive girl for several months now. Exclusive, just her and I. When I met her she had guys chasing her constantly, everywhere she went. Hell, I was attracted to her too lol! Guys calling all hours of the night, texting, IM, giving her flowers, jewelry, cards, letters,...on and on.

She was single and looking. Seemed every guy could sense it. We met through friends and hung out in groups with friends but we were drawn to each other. A couple of months after knowing each other we started dating and sparks flew, I guess you could say. We are a perfect match. She has stopped answering the phone when other guys call, doesn't respond to their texts or emails or IMs. She tells me she's mine and is never gonna leave. Awwww

But she still gets chased by guys, daily. Always. She is very friendly and smiles and flirts along with them enjoying the attention, which she has gotten like that her whole life. When we go out, some guy WILL approach her. lol Even if I am there, doesn't matter. Strangers still walk up to us and say something like, "OMG, you are so beautiful!" or "Let me have your number baby! You need a guy like me."

I feel some jealousy sometimes when I feel she goes overboard on flirting back. Why is that? She doesnt do anything except talk to them. She arrived with me and will leave with me. She will sleep with me that night and wake up beside me. Why is it I get jealous sometimes? It bothers me that I feel that way.

Any others dating an super hot, sexy person who simply attracts attention wherever they go? How do you deal with the attention? Do you get jealous?

I'm guessing that I can really relate to dating someone very sexy that she gets attention no matter what. The truth is that I never had a problem with her flirting with other guys in front of me maybe because she was polish and they usually are conservative. When a guy approached her she was too friendly to reject outright but her vibe which many guys would ignore was that she was taken.

I don't think the girl you are dating is serious about being in a relationship with you, dump her.

January 18, 2010

Look, I understand she is an attractive lady...but some of the stuff you mention seems a bit exaggerated!

Anyway,If such things are happening, I can understand why you feel uneasy.

Problem is, I don't really see what you can do about it.

What is very important is that you assert yourself as an attractive man who also gets female attention. If she is flirting with guys, you should flirt with girls. In fact, you should flirt with girls irrespective of what she does! It is very important that she realizes your worth as a man, otherwise you risk losing her.

January 18, 2010

I think when a girl is super attractive she should hold herself somewhat guarded when around her man. She should be sensitive to her man being jealous of her flirting with other men. Get use to it though, this will probably follow her for a long time.

January 18, 2010

She's so pretty.

January 18, 2010

Do you ignore him and let her respond? Because if she says anything other then "thanks but I am taken" that is disrespectful to you. Does she want you to fight for her? Seriously. She might.

Yes, I do let her respond. I will smile or say hi to him being friendly, even chit chat sometimes. Most of the time she thanks them for the compliment, talks a little bit, and then says something to me like, "You ready to go, baby?" Then the guy moves on.

She does want me to get her back when she feels threatened by someone, but she isn't wanting me to be aggressive towards the guy talking to her.

January 18, 2010

Could you give us an example of what she says/how she flirts?

Edit - just read the post above, forget my question!

January 18, 2010

She sounds like a disrespectful wench. She should not be flirting with other men. Period.

Man up and tell her to start acting like your girlfriend, right now she thinks you're just her toy, and unless you do something about it, this is going to end badly, with your heart being very broken and her banging some other dude while you cry.

Damn sog....wow. lol

Man, its not like that at all. We are completely happy together, neither of us is playing a game. I was posting to see how others dealt with the high levels of attention and if they got jealous.

But thanks for the input anyways

January 18, 2010

When a guy approached her she was too friendly to reject outright but her vibe which many guys would ignore was that she was taken.
I don't think the girl you are dating is serious about being in a relationship with you, dump her.

The "too friendly to reject outright" is exactly what she is doing. Nothing more. Man, if you wanted, you could walk up and sit down at our table and eat with us. She would be very friendly and talk with you and you would enjoy our company. But you would be able to see we are a couple, just from the atmosphere and her actions.

Don't think she is serious about me? Why is that? If dump her, you want her number?

January 18, 2010

Don't think she is serious about me? Why is that? If dump her, you want her number?

By the sound of it yes yes I do. I haven't had a gf for the past 2 yrs:(

January 18, 2010

Look, I understand she is an attractive lady...but some of the stuff you mention seems a bit exaggerated!
Anyway,If such things are happening, I can understand why you feel uneasy.

No exaggeration at all. It is completely new experience for me dating someone like her. When I introduce her to friends who don't know her they pull me aside and say "OMG" or "Holy ****! Where did you find her" lol

Hell, I love the attention sometimes too.

Problem is, I don't really see what you can do about it.
What is very important is that you assert yourself as an attractive man who also gets female attention. If she is flirting with guys, you should flirt with girls. In fact, you should flirt with girls irrespective of what she does! It is very important that she realizes your worth as a man, otherwise you risk losing her.

You really think "Well, I'm gonna do it too then" is the best approach? I don't. I don't view her actions as an attack towards me, nor do I see it as disrespecting me. Not at all. I know she loves me, I am just trying to get used to the moments when she flirts back longer than I would like her too. But even then the guy walks away with nothing but a convo. So what am I concerned with then? Why cant I let that go as easily as I do every other time?

January 18, 2010

I would agree that she sounds more "friendly" than she should be and that is what garners the attention. Strangers usually won't flirt with a woman accompanying another man unless given encouragement. If she is encouraging their attention, it is disrespectful to you.

True. One thing though, she doesn't ever approach them. I agree that if she were chasing guys it would be completely different and highly disrespectful.

She may be more "friendly" than normal. In fact, she is overly friendly at times. But that's an attractive quality to me. Maybe this is just a part of having that quality.

January 18, 2010

I think when a girl is super attractive she should hold herself somewhat guarded when around her man. She should be sensitive to her man being jealous of her flirting with other men. Get use to it though, this will probably follow her for a long time.

She does know it bothers me at times. We talk about it.

Get used to it? lol Yes, I'm afraid you are right! I plan to stick with this girl for a long time, and getting used to it is exactly what I am doing now.

January 18, 2010

By the sound of it yes yes I do. I haven't had a gf for the past 2 yrs:(

She's so pretty.

LMAO

Good one Jersey!

January 18, 2010

I'm married to an extremely attractive man and yes, he gets approached by women quite often. But instead of responding in a friendly way, he shuts them down by being distant but polite.

My first husband was also extremely attractive and someone who solicited the attention like your g/f does. He eventually cheated on me.

Food for thought.

January 18, 2010

I'm married to an extremely attractive man and yes, he gets approached by women quite often. But instead of responding in a friendly way, he shuts them down by being distant but polite.

My first husband was also extremely attractive and someone who solicited the attention like your g/f does. He eventually cheated on me.

Food for thought.

Thanks tbf, In your opinion, the difference between the ex and your H is in how they handled the attention initially? Or is it how far they let the flirting or attention go?

January 18, 2010

I TOTALLY agree with Threebyfate. She should, out of respect for you politely "shut them down"....This is one of those behavior patterns that just has the "tip toes" close to the line of inappropriate, but not enough that if you call her on it, you won't look insecure....SLIPPERY SLOPE....

Around a woman like this, you have to be "alpha in a good way". You kind of have her on a pedestal, with the vibe that "you are the lucky one" and that subtety outs itself. You kind of act a bit "beta" by the sounds of it. Now this does not mean getting in these guys' faces. A poster named Mem11363 has an excellent thread about good mix of alpha and beta traits in romantic relationships. You should read it. It is sort of a "vibe" that you would give out that you won't tolerate your relationship being disrespected, in the sense that if she does, you are perfectly happy to walk and find someone who does appreciate what she's got in you. Everyone makes such a big deal about looks. But you know, even women like Christie Brinkley get cheated on, so it's not all that magical or "end all/be all"..and don't give her the impression that it is...

January 18, 2010

Thanks tbf, In your opinion, the difference between the ex and your H is in how they handled the attention initially? Or is it how far they let the flirting or attention go?

IMO, the real question is, what does this flirting and attention mean to them?

For my first husband, it was part of his narcissistic supply and he needed it. It turned out that he was a serial cheater with NPD.
For my second husband, the attention is a mild annoyance. He doesn't need the external validation from strange women. He's also never cheated.
Myself, I enjoy a little light-hearted flirting but there's a definitive line in the sand and once it's crossed, I get really cold towards the person who crosses it. But I don't need it and have never cheated.

So now, you have three types of personalities. Time to figure out where your g/f fits.

January 18, 2010

IMO, the real question is, what does this flirting and attention mean to them?
For my first husband, it was part of his narcissistic supply and he needed it. It turned out that he was a serial cheater with NPD.
For my second husband, the attention is a mild annoyance. He doesn't need the external validation from strange women. He's also never cheated.
Myself, I enjoy a little light-hearted flirting but there's a definitive line in the sand and once it's crossed, I get really cold towards the person who crosses it. But I don't need it and have never cheated.
So now, you have three types of personalities. Time to figure out where your g/f fits.

Threebyfate put it very well. I'm concerned she needs this validation. To what extent will she go to get it? You said she doesn't respond to men's calls, texts when with you. If she is exclusive with you, she shouldn't be getting these calls, texts any longer. She should have "shut them down" by now.

Just be careful and remain open-minded. I sincerely hope she is worthy of your adoration and you remain together and happy for a very long time.

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Anyone else dating an extremely attractive person?

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