pdq Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Hi, I went on a first date on Wed, which lasted for three hours and went very well. She invited me to go bowling with her friends on Sunday and said "I may even invite you over". She gave me a big hug and said she had a nice time. Sunday came, she hugged me again, we bowled, we went out to eat, and then went back to her place. She put on an episode of Star Trek which we both like. She made hot tea for both of us. Turned off the lights and sat with me. Half way through the show, I began holding her. She recipricated by curling up closer to me. I rubbed her hair, gave her some kisses. She returned with some kisses herself. To make the long story short, we concluded the evening by not moving to quickly. I re-assured her that I was not looking to get too intimate and she thanked me. We walked to the train station gave each other a kiss and said goodnight. She emailed me today and said she is sorry for the mixed signals and that she is only feeling the friendship vibe, good luck in my search. What happened? THX
OnlyJake Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Maybe she thought kissing you was like kissing her brother? I'm sure she had fun with you, but obviously didn't see relationship potential. Nice of her to let you know that.
O'Malley Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 After the second date, she determined that she wasn't interested enough to pursue anything further. The kissing (from her perspective) just sealed it.
boogieboy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Either you moved too slow, or shes on the rebound, or wasnt that interested. You also messed up by telling her you dont want to get too intimate. You HAVE to strike while the irons hot, then you can slow down after that. Otherwise you get friendzoned.
Author pdq Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 She found a better looking guy. In less than 12 hours?
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 It sounds like she didn't feel physical chemistry, rather enjoyed your company in a platonic way. If you had pushed, it might have ended up with sex but wouldn't necessarily have ended with any potential for a relationship or a repeat performance. It's good that she shut it down sooner, rather than later. Time to get back into the ocean and do more fishing. Try not to take this to heart. It happens to everyone.
OpenGL Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 In less than 12 hours? Yes. Do you realize that even average looking girls get hit on 24/7? You are in constant competition with men and girls these days have no problem dropping you in a second to pursue a better looking guy. Women's #1 priority these days are looks.
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Yes. Do you realize that even average looking girls get hit on 24/7? You are in constant competition with men and girls these days have no problem dropping you in a second to pursue a better looking guy. Women's #1 priority these days are looks.Your perception is so badly skewed about women, it's not even mildly amusing.
OpenGL Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Your perception is so badly skewed about women, it's not even mildly amusing. My perception about women is based on facts.
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My perception about women is based on facts.Even hot women don't get hit on 24/7. No one is in the public eye 24/7. If nothing else, they need to sleep too. You don't state facts, just skewed perceptions of misogyny and what it's like to be a woman.
O'Malley Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 In less than 12 hours? Quite doubtful; but if you decide to go down OpenGL's peculiar rabbit hole be sure to put tin foil on your head before you read his other posts.
Balthazar Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 This girl was ready to be taken and you didn't take HER! That's what is wrong! She thanked you because you went slow? Do you think this lady wanted you to go slow? I certainly don't think so... I mean, why do you think she invited you back to her palce? For tea and crumpets? I don't want to sound aggressive but you have to rock a woman's world in such cases. Ladies have had it with sensitive, new age men! They want somebody who will make them feel like women! My friend, next time a lady invites you over to her place make sure you bring condom(s) and a desire to use them!
someotherguy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 She's probably still hung up on an ex and is confused by all these conflicting thoughts in her head. This whole hung up on an ex thing seems pretty popular these days haha. Regardless, I think you probably dodged a bullet, so take a deep breath and move on. Block her number and find a girl that wants to lock lips with you. Be confident and assertive, but not aggressive. As others have said...if you get invited to her place, she wants to see if it feels good to have you taking her bra off.
OnlyJake Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I don't want to sound aggressive but you have to rock a woman's world in such cases. Ladies have had it with sensitive, new age men! They want somebody who will make them feel like women! My friend, next time a lady invites you over to her place make sure you bring condom(s) and a desire to use them! Balthazar knows what women want! Listen up OP.
Author pdq Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 This girl was ready to be taken and you didn't take HER! That's what is wrong! She thanked you because you went slow? Do you think this lady wanted you to go slow? I certainly don't think so... I mean, why do you think she invited you back to her palce? For tea and crumpets? I don't want to sound aggressive but you have to rock a woman's world in such cases. Ladies have had it with sensitive, new age men! They want somebody who will make them feel like women! My friend, next time a lady invites you over to her place make sure you bring condom(s) and a desire to use them! Would'nt sex with her too soon make her feel like a ho rather than a woman. We are talking about 2nd date for crying out loud. I met this woman through Chemistry.com. If she wanted sex that quickly, she should have gone to a bar.
mem11363 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 She will tell you if the way you kissed her had anything to do with it. If you ask carefully she will likely be honest in general about the start/stop of chemistry. Hi, I went on a first date on Wed, which lasted for three hours and went very well. She invited me to go bowling with her friends on Sunday and said "I may even invite you over". She gave me a big hug and said she had a nice time. Sunday came, she hugged me again, we bowled, we went out to eat, and then went back to her place. She put on an episode of Star Trek which we both like. She made hot tea for both of us. Turned off the lights and sat with me. Half way through the show, I began holding her. She recipricated by curling up closer to me. I rubbed her hair, gave her some kisses. She returned with some kisses herself. To make the long story short, we concluded the evening by not moving to quickly. I re-assured her that I was not looking to get too intimate and she thanked me. We walked to the train station gave each other a kiss and said goodnight. She emailed me today and said she is sorry for the mixed signals and that she is only feeling the friendship vibe, good luck in my search. What happened? THX
phineas Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My opinion is A stable woman wouldn't pop the friend card because you didn't try to get into her pants on the 2nd date. I went out with a girl I i knew from work who went away to college & came back for break. On the 2nd date we wound up in my back seat & I had no rubber because i really didn't expect that. We didn't do it. She lost interest / found anther guy. oh well. She friendzoned me. Ok. but since I didn't have a lot of time invested in her it was easy to just walk away (got enough friends was my thought process back then) She was not what i'd call a stable woman. If your looking for a relationship this woman was probably not the one for you. If you were looking to score, you struck out. It's just a matter of perspective.
Author pdq Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 My opinion is A stable woman wouldn't pop the friend card because you didn't try to get into her pants on the 2nd date. I went out with a girl I i knew from work who went away to college & came back for break. On the 2nd date we wound up in my back seat & I had no rubber because i really didn't expect that. We didn't do it. She lost interest / found anther guy. oh well. She friendzoned me. Ok. but since I didn't have a lot of time invested in her it was easy to just walk away (got enough friends was my thought process back then) She was not what i'd call a stable woman. If your looking for a relationship this woman was probably not the one for you. If you were looking to score, you struck out. It's just a matter of perspective. I am becoming more and more convinced that there are so many unstable people on these dating sites. Hey, I may be one of them. I guess wacky attracts wacky
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Look, while it might make people feel better to believe that instability is the cause for rejection, most often, that's not true. Not everyone proceeds further into dating, if the chemistry isn't there.
Balthazar Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Would'nt sex with her too soon make her feel like a ho rather than a woman. We are talking about 2nd date for crying out loud. I met this woman through Chemistry.com. If she wanted sex that quickly, she should have gone to a bar. Look, you have to give them sex when they want it..whether it is on the first date or whenever.... It may have only been the 2nd date but you were on the couch(HER couch!) watching a movie. Don't you think she thought about YOU making a move on her? Why on earth do you think she brought into her home and put you in a position where you could EASILY make a move on her? If I am not making sense here, stop me...but I smell a woman who wanted some tender loving... and she is not a whore for wanting that...she is just a fine, passionate woman!
boogieboy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Would'nt sex with her too soon make her feel like a ho rather than a woman. We are talking about 2nd date for crying out loud. I met this woman through Chemistry.com. If she wanted sex that quickly, she should have gone to a bar. It doesnt have to be sex. Just a heavy makeout session...
Author pdq Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 I emailed back to her and brought closure with the possibility of something in the future. Now, since I really have nothing to lose, I am going to text her and say "if you wanted sex, you should have just wacked me over the head and jump on me :)" What the hell? maybe I'll get a response.
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