Dark_of_the_Moon Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 WHy can't I just be happy being alone and forget everything and stop all this? Im back sitting here crying again. I thought it was over with. Everytime I try again, this happens. I just want it to end, I want to stop crying, stop being hurt all the time. Stop being lied to, stop failing at everything. Im ready for it to be over. All of it.
madisonlayne Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Sounds like you're allowing depression to get the best of you. I'm sorry you feel so down, but there's only one way to go, right? The first step is to reconize that you deserve much more than these negative feelings. It has to start with you. You're going to have to "wake" from this despair and ask yourself, "what do I want from this life?" .. this pattern you're in is not healthy for you. Change begins with the little things. Sending hugs your way.
Ms. Joolie Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Allow yourself to cry, it's ok. What I'm learning is that breakdowns happen. Breakdowns happen because we are still weak in a certain area. It's that area that we need to build strength in. Maybe consider why you are crying, pinpoint what is upsetting you. Build up your strength to work out a solution in that area and just keep moving forward. It's okay to hurt and cry, we are human. What we have to have is the certainty that it doesn't have to stay that way, that we have the strength, intelligence, choice and the help we need to keep going. Everyday we keep going, and when we fall down or take a few steps back, it's okay. That doesn't stop our journey.
nobmagnet Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Ohhh honey I kknow how you feel. I feel in doing really well then BAM. It is awful. Try to plan to do something. Try to have something to look forward too. It helps me lots. Nothing big just try to do nice stuff for you. We will get better I know that for a fact its just getting there thats horrible Nobby xxxx
Beeotch Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 WHy can't I just be happy being alone and forget everything and stop all this? Im back sitting here crying again. I thought it was over with. Everytime I try again, this happens. I just want it to end, I want to stop crying, stop being hurt all the time. Stop being lied to, stop failing at everything. Im ready for it to be over. All of it. This is perfectly normal and HEALTHY...minus the part about failing at everything. You sound like me months ago...I went through it all, the ups and downs are the worst. Feeling amazing and strong one day then the next something happens and you feel like your are spiraling down again. It is frustrating and disheartening and I wanted to just pop a pill that would erase my memories so I'd be done with it---that did not happen And you know what? I am glad! I realize through the heartache and pain, that is when you GROW and stretch yourself and realize your strengths, weaknesses and LEARN so much. Looking back, I wouldn't change all the tears and anger and anxiety, hard to believe but yep...they were UNPLEASANT and would I want to get back to square one and start over? HELL FRICK NO! But I realize why exactly I had to go through it and I guess for me, trying to see the purpose and bigger picture helped me to cope. My suggestion is to make a resolution to get better, feel better and move forward at all costs. Then from there realize you will have ups and downs and that all these feelings are transient, today you might feel like crap but tomorrow you may not...so you have to just let the emotions ride and go through it. That is the biggest lesson...ALL of us want to just surpass the pain stage, just have amnesia, not feel anything, some of us get into rebound scenarios or even unhealthy habits (drugs, alcohol, excessive partying, promiscuity etc) to "forget" and not feel anything--but they are ALL counterproductive. I realize now as someone "on the other side" that there is no way to deal with it than to go through it....in the end it is worth it. Resolve to be stronger and to learn about yourself and to improve and YOU can make the experience one that builds you instead of tears you down. Goodluck
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