LucreziaBorgia Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 1. When you went back the first time, did your ex change? Or, did you want him to change? 2. Did you have any impediments to separation? Children? Home? Financial concerns? Thanks. 1. There wasn't anything for him to change. I did what I did because of who I was at the time, rather than because of anything he was or wasn't doing. When I went back, it was business as usual. For a time, it was nice being back because we had a shared history and it was a comfortable familiar situation. 2. Only incredible family pressure. They wanted me to stay with him, and were determined not to like or accept the new guy (with reason, he was a total asshat.)
reboot Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 As once said by my grandmother that in a committed relationship you fall in and out of love many times. But you stay committed becouse after the first couple of time of falling out of love, you began to look forward to when you will fall back in. Most have lost patients. . That's actually pretty profound. Nothing like grandma wisdom.
Serena2009 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Thanks everyone. I have to say that after I read the first few responses, I was going to give up with this thread. I'm not looking for advice, I'm not looking for people to give me their interpretation of "I Love You But..." Hi Philetus, I'm sorry for the pain of your experience. As far as "I love you but . . . " singularly and out of the context of the concrete elements of each unique relationship experience, it's much too abstract for a general interpretation. I know you're looking for concrete answers as to the meaning and the outcome, but the interpretation of the meaning and subsequent outcome shared by individuals who have faced this will be divergent and based more their concrete relationship circumstances rather than on a general meaning and outcome. If faced with this in a relationship that I really wanted to work on (and it sounds like you really do, and I respect you for it), I'd be asking: 1. "What is it that you love about me?" 2. "What needs to be present for you to be in love?" And believe it or not . . . there are concrete answers to the second question, just as there are to the first question. I know you didn't want advice and I'm not handing you any. I'm just sharing my thoughts with you and if my thoughts don't suit you, no offense taken, please forgive me and ignore.
twinklecat Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Sorry for your situation. It's terrible, isn't it? I wish I wasn't able to say that I know how you feel. Did you live together for six weeks because of financial reasons? Did it eventually become too hard to see him and he had to go? Thanks. Sorry Philetus, didn't see your reply. It is awful, but I'm getting better day by day. I was not married to this man so I can only imagine what you're going through We still lived in the same house as we had a rental contract, but in the end I left early as I couldn't take being under the same roof as him any longer.
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