Snugglepuss Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I have established no contact with my ex who I was on and off with for about 4.5 years. It has been a week but he has texted me every single day. I have not responded. I initiated the break up because he said he was in a rut and wanted me to wait until he bettered himself. Well, I told him I would not wait and it was just a cop out. He texts me meaningless things like let's go bowling or i know you went to see that movie without me or I still consider you my girlfriend. I am 24 and he is 28. What is the meaning of all of this? If he doesn't want to be with me, then leave me alone! He is also a major flirt. I know he loves me but I am sure he has other girls now that he is single, so why can't he seem to leave me alone? Maybe this is his way of coping? I don't understand why he would continue to text me if he gets no response.
DenverBachelor Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I have established no contact with my ex who I was on and off with for about 4.5 years. It has been a week but he has texted me every single day. I have not responded. I initiated the break up because he said he was in a rut and wanted me to wait until he bettered himself. Well, I told him I would not wait and it was just a cop out. He texts me meaningless things like let's go bowling or i know you went to see that movie without me or I still consider you my girlfriend. I am 24 and he is 28. What is the meaning of all of this? If he doesn't want to be with me, then leave me alone! He is also a major flirt. I know he loves me but I am sure he has other girls now that he is single, so why can't he seem to leave me alone? Maybe this is his way of coping? I don't understand why he would continue to text me if he gets no response. Do you want to be with him? He's calling you his girlfriend. Why don't you just pick up the phone and call him and tell him you're not into games and you want a straight answer. Tell him, "If you want to be in a relationship with me, stop playing games and man up and act like my boyfriend. Otherwise, don't contact me because I'm not dealing with childish BS from you or anyone else." In essence, he needs to either take a dump or get off the pot. He's waffling. Give him one shot at this and if he continues to waffle, tell him to stop contacting you and move on to the next lucky guy.
LovelyDaze Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I have established no contact with my ex who I was on and off with for about 4.5 years. It has been a week but he has texted me every single day. I have not responded. I initiated the break up because he said he was in a rut and wanted me to wait until he bettered himself. Well, I told him I would not wait and it was just a cop out. He texts me meaningless things like let's go bowling or i know you went to see that movie without me or I still consider you my girlfriend. I am 24 and he is 28. What is the meaning of all of this? If he doesn't want to be with me, then leave me alone! He is also a major flirt. I know he loves me but I am sure he has other girls now that he is single, so why can't he seem to leave me alone? Maybe this is his way of coping? I don't understand why he would continue to text me if he gets no response. Be serious with what you want from him. Give it to him straight as DB suggested. Either you are his girlfriend and should treat you as such or you're not and should walk away. Don't be afraid of "losing him." He sounds like the type that likes having one foot in the mud and one foot in the pool...unable to put both feet firmly in one area like he should. My recent ex kept texting and calling also, and now the ex BEFORE him, has been texting me lately with no response. When it's over it should be over.
gaudi Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Certainly sounds like this guy might be keen to enjoy the best of both worlds. Don't let him. Tell him straight, he is either with you, or he can go and be without you. Don't let him mess you about because he's not sure where HIS head is. You sound like someone who has respect for yourself, and you shouldn't compromise that for someone else. Unless of course you're happy waiting for him to better himself............................NAH !!
Author Snugglepuss Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Thank you everyone for your encouraging responses. The reason I am not responding to him is because I had already given him an ultimatum. I pretty much said everything I needed to say. Even the fact that he would not add me on facebook (as petty as that sounds), is a contributing factor as to why I had made the decision to leave for good. I guess there is that small part of me that always holds out hope, but I know I must be headstrong and stick to my decision. He could not make small sacrafices for me, therefore, he does not deserve me. I think his nonsense texts are just to provoke a reaction or response from me. If he wants one foot in the mud and another foot in the pool, I will be a stick in the mud.
LovelyDaze Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 If he wants one foot in the mud and another foot in the pool, I will be a stick in the mud. Exactly! Don't let anyone treat you less than a classy,beautiful person. You don't deserve to be an afterthought, you deserve to consume his thoughts!
Author Snugglepuss Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Today, my good male friend who is also going through a break up, and I, made a pact to never contact or respond to our exes. What saddens me the most is the realization that this person indeed would not do whatever it took to keep me. I think I have convinced myself that he was doing something questionable because all of his actions were indicative of someone who had something deceitful to hide. Did I subject myself to his manipulation and was taken advantage of? He has always and still wants to maintain a close proximity to me... Perhaps, because he still loved me and wanted me around while he was fooling around? Why would someone want that? The best of both worlds? Why did I put up with that for months? The secrets and the hidden truths. I was a fool in love. I'm tired of being stressed out and my psoriasis is also flaring up! It's situations like this that make me almost want to scream how much I hate boys! I want a real man not a boy! I wish I didn't have to think of or remember him as a pig, but I do.
HLP234 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It's situations like this that make me almost want to scream how much I hate boys! I want a real man not a boy! I wish I didn't have to think of or remember him as a pig, but I do. We all go through the same situations. I could say the same for my ex, because for me, she pretty much played the same contact game, then I got accused of not wanting to talk..when she was the one that wanted "time alone." People never know what they want I think until they get older at least and realize that life doesn't always go their way based on their actions. As they say, what goes around comes around and that is one thing you can pretty much count on.
Silver_star Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 If he wanted you back so badly hes be on you like a fat kid on a smartie. He is texting you, yes. But you also feel like hes enjoying other womens company as well...im sure he has other phone numbers. He could be doing this to multiple women. The point is...if hes not saying Please come back to me, lets talk about being in a relationship again, or "I dont want to be with anybody but you", then assume hes just stringing you along as one of many possible ""options". If you want him, then you talk to him about it, but dont be his little string along, because thats just downgrading.
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