samsungxoxo Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) It has nothing to do with another woman/man involved but if your SO does one or more of the followings would it count as deceiving (betrayal) enough to break-up/divorce? 1) Hacks your email or other account sns and places spams or corrupts your account 2) Steals money or items from you and lies 3) Ruins your credit card report 4) Spreads false rumors about you whether in person or online to others 5) Ruins your good reputation 6) Blocks your bank account and or important transfers 7) Usage of money was wasted on gambling and they lie about it So when it comes to betrayal which is worst the typical ''Who could you do this to me, why you cheated'' or the fact that they cheated on you on those following 6 lists I mentioned? Edited January 18, 2010 by samsungxoxo
jennie-jennie Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Is he a compulsive gambler perhaps? I would suggest getting in contact with Gam-Anon in that case.
Devil Inside Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I would say that those activities would be just as dishonest and betraying as infidelity. They are activities that would destroy trust in the relationship and may bring it to a point of no return.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) Why are you with this person? I'm not (single here), this was just a general question because many think betrayal is all about cheating with someone else and that it's the worst of worst. Those lists I mentioned seems just as bad as cheating too but people don't usually take a notice of that. Heck, I wouldn't even share my account with an SO nor ever give my bank account. I only trust my parents. That's the reason these thing should be consider infidelity because it's betrayal too. Being infidel should be ''Not being faithful'' which should mean not be loyal, trustworthy or truthful... Edited January 18, 2010 by samsungxoxo
crazycatlady Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 It works for all types of things, not just affairs that are betrayals. I know someone who opened a credit card account and ran it up to 10k without her spouse's knowledge, that's a betrayal. Drinking, drugs, spying on your spouse, are all betrayals. However, if my SO didn't trust me enough to share a bank account with me, everything, then no we wouldn't be getting married. Trust is either there or not. It doesn't mean each spouse can't have their own accounts, but they should have at least the access to it your parents would have - likely the ability to deposit money. If something were to happen to you when you were married, its not your parents who would be handling things for you (coma or such) its your spouse. If you can't trust them, don't marry them. ccl
schewter Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I was #s 3 and 7...the cumulative effect of what I did was no better than my wife's emotional infidelity and every bit as damaging to our marriage. That is why I forgave her and have changed in fundamental ways to win her back.
Dexter Morgan Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 It has nothing to do with another woman/man involved but if your SO does one or more of the followings would it count as deceiving (betrayal) enough to break-up/divorce? 1) Hacks your email or other account sns and places spams or corrupts your account 2) Steals money or items from you and lies 3) Ruins your credit card report 4) Spreads false rumors about you whether in person or online to others 5) Ruins your good reputation 6) Blocks your bank account and or important transfers 7) Usage of money was wasted on gambling and they lie about it So when it comes to betrayal which is worst the typical ''Who could you do this to me, why you cheated'' or the fact that they cheated on you on those following 6 lists I mentioned? Yup, I'd say all those above are betrayal. which is worst? the cheating, most definitely in my opinion, but the things you listed are right up there. however, if one has cheated and # 4 and 5 are the reaction of the betrayed then 4) they aren't spreading false rumors about the cheater if they did in fact cheat and 5) the cheater's good reputation was a facade in the first place.
JaneInVegas Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Sam, everyone's moral and values vary a great deal, what is betrayal to one person is just another person's petty problems. However, I think that most of the things on your list would be enough to split up a majority of couples if they kept happening over and over. But really, is there any betrayal that hurts worse than the betrayal of the heart?
doushenka Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I believe the entire OP counts, yes. Those are just as bad as cheating, if not worse.
D-Lish Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I think people "feel" the impact of infidelity more than any other form of betrayal- it just seems to hit home the most. Those acts you listed are still acts of betrayal, and still grounds for running away screaming from the person. I have been cheated financially by men in the past- but the men that cheated on me with another woman had a much greater impact on my self esteem.
schewter Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 D-Lish...you are bang on. Infidelity is definately the "big hurt"...just so many dynamics involved.
Dexter Morgan Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 D-Lish...you are bang on. Infidelity is definately the "big hurt"...just so many dynamics involved. there is the key, HURT. all the things listed in the first post definitely would piss me off....but they wouldn't hurt me. cheating does, therefore I hold it at the top of the list of betrayal.
bentnotbroken Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 All of the things on the list are betrayals of trust, but no of those things will give me AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. That's the difference for me.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) All of the things on the list are betrayals of trust, but no of those things will give me AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. That's the difference for me. True but putting that aside as well as getting another woman pregnant (it that wasn't that case and you're safe), then there would be no other issues other than breaking your trust and those overwhelming emotions.. which is similar because you can't never trust them again.... Edited January 20, 2010 by samsungxoxo
schewter Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 <<there is the key, HURT. all the things listed in the first post definitely would piss me off....but they wouldn't hurt me.>> That's you and to some extent me, though, I'd certainly be hurt to know my wife was spreading nasty rumors or even running me down to her friends and co-workers. I wouldn't neccessarily be "hurt" if my wife carried on the way I did for years; i.e drinking and gambling etc. but it's the other things that go with that lifestyle...the distance from loved ones, lack of focus on the marriage, the feeling that you are finishing second etc...those things hurt my wife; hurt my marriage...and I can understand that...doesn't make what she did okay but certainly contributed to a mindset of resentment and apathy.
bentnotbroken Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 True but putting that aside as well as getting another woman pregnant (it that wasn't that case and you're safe), then there would be no other issues other than breaking your trust and those overwhelming emotions.. which is similar because you can't never trust them again.... I said for me.
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