Kittens and Gin Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I recently found myself falling for an older guy...he is 35, I am 23. We've been out only a few times, but I can see us perfectly fitting into one another. Maybe it is too soon to say,but how can I ignore what my gut is screaming? I'm not sure he believes that we could actually be in a relationship, b/c of the age difference and where we are in our lives. He is cautious around me...careful not to overstep boundaries. We hung out, & he let his guard down. He said he is at the point in his life where he is looking for someone to fall in love with. Uh hello? Me ****ing TOO. He seemed surprised that I'm at this point (the expression on his face was pleasure) that I'm not into sleazing around like maybe SOME early-20's girls do. (Not saying that this is what girls do. But it seemed like his idea of what someone my age does is party & hook up with too many boyz lyk omigahhzzzz ) How do I show him that I'm not looking for a boy? I'm looking for a man to fall deeply in love with. I care to the extent of posting on here because I feel something crazy when he kisses me (a rarity, because he wants to get to know me first. He said he doesn't want to mistake me for lust.) Part of me knows I have to wait & be patient. But I don't want to lose a relationship because he assumes that I am merely a kid. At 23, I view myself as being a woman. I hope he can do the same. ??! J
boogieboy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 He knows that young girls change when they get older...thats what hes afraid of. So theres nothing you can do to convince him other than time. No matter what you say, he wont believe you, he knows youre eager to please...and he doesnt know if youre a girl that says whatever she needs to get what she wants.
CaliGuy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Well, as someone who has predominately dated much younger women, I can say that if you want him to believe you, you really have to "walk the walk". If I were you, just hang out with him and take it slow. He's older, wiser and more mature than most of the men you're used to going out with. He's probably set in his ways. But, if you are patient and don't rush things it could turn out to be a rewarding relationship. He's telling you exactly what to do. SLOW DOWN and DON'T RUSH IT. You'll win him over with time, patience and walking the walk. You should be in no hurry. You have the rest of your life -- and so does he. In summary: Slow Down. Take a deep breath. Let the relationship happen naturally. If you rush it, you blow it. Got me? (Wish some of the younger ladies I dated in the past understood that concept, lol)
Pizzaman81 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 He knows that young girls change when they get older...thats what hes afraid of. So theres nothing you can do to convince him other than time. No matter what you say, he wont believe you, he knows youre eager to please...and he doesnt know if youre a girl that says whatever she needs to get what she wants. Ya I agree... a young girl will go through many phases and changes in her mentality, and changes in what she wants... I'm not saying all girls your age are like that but most are... unstable (meaning will change a few times what they like, and want, and find attractive and want in life). To an older guy that's scary as hell's butt.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Well, as someone who has predominately dated much younger women, I can say that if you want him to believe you, you really have to "walk the walk". If I were you, just hang out with him and take it slow. He's older, wiser and more mature than most of the men you're used to going out with. He's probably set in his ways. But, if you are patient and don't rush things it could turn out to be a rewarding relationship. He's telling you exactly what to do. SLOW DOWN and DON'T RUSH IT. You'll win him over with time, patience and walking the walk. You should be in no hurry. You have the rest of your life -- and so does he. In summary: Slow Down. Take a deep breath. Let the relationship happen naturally. If you rush it, you blow it. Got me? (Wish some of the younger ladies I dated in the past understood that concept, lol) I TOTALLY agree and approve of this message. LOL I was married to a man 15 years my senior and am currently dating one 14 years my senior. I go with the flow and let him set the pace. He loves it. It doesn't mean setting aside your own needs or allowing yourself to be disrespected. It's more about the fact that it doesn't need to be constant pressure: "Where is this going?" "How do you feel?" "What are you thinking?" "How many babies do you want?"
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