Whirly Girl Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My writing skills have never been the greatest, mostly when the subject is me. As I try to begin to tell this story of mine, anxiety takes control and my story no longer makes much sense. It goes in all different directions, leaving the readers unable to comment through sheer frustration...so with that said I will apologize in advance and try keeping my thought in order. I met my ex in 2003. He was 29, I was 33. We met while my job at the time took me to the US every 3 weeks. Within three months of LD dating, he came to canada with me. It didn't matter to me that he could not work. I had found love, and armed with my rose colored glasses, nothing else mattered. Initially our relationship was beautiful. He became my best friend. I loved him, he loved me. Fast forward to 2007, pressure began to rear it's head as I found out I was pregnant. He decides that since he cannot legally work in canada, he would go back to the US and get a better job and support us throughout my pregnancy. Teaching ballet, my full time job, was out of question for the time being. So he leaves in March...the 13th exactly. I assumed his lack of communication was due to him getting settled in. I was so wrong. March turned in April, to May...(still no phone call) to June. June 15th that bastard calls to ask me if all is well with our baby. I lost my mind. He slowly, like a snake made his way back into my life in december of 08, but AGAIN I should have known better. He shows up at my door unannounced Dec 13th and stays until Feb10th. We spent the entire two months being together...He would tell me how he just knew I was the one he was meant to spend his life with etc etc etc. He really poured the **** on strong too. This time his excuse was to go back to the US and get his paperwork (passport and such) in order, and we would once again live happily ever after. Hindsight being 20/20, he left right before valentines day to go do all this...I should have ****ing caught on. So again the abandonment issues come full throttle, and the one phone call I did get from him was "Sorry baby, I couldnt use their phone here...otherwise i would have called you long before 2 weeks." I told him to **** off--told his mother to **** off herself, as she kept calling me asking me to forgive her son for this last ****up of his many. Fast forward six weeks....April 09. I get a text message from his brother telling me he just got married. Hurt, in pain, shock. anger...you name it. I must have been some sort of rebound for him during that second chance....he had to have been already seeing whoever he MARRIED six weeks later. They must of had a fight, and he thought he use me. It has been 11 months...and I do notice that I am getting a bit better---but so many unanswered "whys"...leave me here night after night still to this day trying to figure out the what ifs. Today I looked him up on facebook...and they are about to have their baby any day now. Although I only found out she is now pregnant, it was something I actually sensed all summer. So she got him for it all. The marriage, the baby...the family...all in a matter of a few months . All of my fears came true.
Austen Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I'm so sorry you went through all of this--it must hurt terribly. And I wish I could give you some easy, feel-good answer, but sometimes there just isn't one. And my guess? His new wife probably doesn't know about his other child. Sometimes, people come into our lives for the sole purpose of using us and leaving us, and I don't understand why. But I have to believe it all "comes out in the wash" eventually. Please take care of yourself and your baby. Big hug!
Dorluv Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 As I read ur story I have tears in my eyes for u and for me. " O wat a tangled web we weave sometimes" So so sorry, at least u know the truth now and can go on. Nothing worse than guessing the truth it is pure madness. The son....... , I am learning that there are evil people on earth I do trust people too much like you cause I think everyone is like me. Baby 9 wish i could wave a wand and let it ease ur hurt caz i know what and how u feeling. For me I have an opportunity to run but cant understand y I dont. I am caught up in a situation where the guy isnt working and I have to pay for our dates. Because he is not legal he says he is living with this girl just to get his papers and want me to wait on him. The thing is though he doenst act like somebody who is just with someone for his papers, He is bonding with her kids, her aunt and all her family. His cousin tells me he introduce her to them as his girl, and one time he slipped and called her his girl. I was furious, caz I had already invested 9 months with him. In our culture sometimes when I person say My gal ( my girl) or my bwouy) My boy means friend too. so he said that what he meant. I love him so much and I dont know y. Am I stupid Whirlygirl? Was your guy passionate and loving with you becaze then I could understand y you feel for him. but this guy is cold as Ice. no grabbing and holding me when he sees me and sometimes we dont see each other very often, u would think he cant keep his hands off me. It would be freezing cold and for me I would think a normal guy would grab his girl and hug her not him, i look sideways and I see him have his both hands in his pocket. I want to leave whirlygirl honest ive tried its just too difficult. The reason im telling you my story becazue I want you to help me through this and I will be there to hepl you through. so evryday post how u feel it will make you feel better .
Author Whirly Girl Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Dorluv... Don't walk ----RUN. This mf sounds like he is using you. I'm sorry to sound so blunt, and mean...but looking in from where I am standing...this guy appears to be full of s**t. He sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I find when I talk to God through my most difficult times, there always seems to be a light through dark times. Austen... Thanks for the kind words....Understanding and knowing I'm not alone sometimes make all the difference.
Dorluv Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Thanks so much babe. Im feeling a little off today but better than yesterday. We are not communicating like we used to and i feel used. damn Im so stupid. How are you feeling today. How is your baby doing. Hope one day u find ur true love and evrything will work out for u. ok Make sure you post tomoorow how ur feeling ok. or today make sure you do it evry day and sooner you will be over it ok. later. hugs
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