Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 So fiance and I made a bet that he could go a week without nagging me about cleaning. If he won I got to give him a "reward." Needless to say, it isn't working out so well. I've tried to come up with so many solutions, nothing seems to stick long term though. The main problem is I don't have anything in the apartment that is just "my space." He has his own office, but we share a bedroom. If my desk (not his) is messed up he tells me to organize it because it makes the room look messy. I have really tried to make more of an effort, the constant nagging is annoying though! Anybody deal with nagging partners?
norajane Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So fiance and I made a bet that he could go a week without nagging me about cleaning. If he won I got to give him a "reward." Needless to say, it isn't working out so well. I've tried to come up with so many solutions, nothing seems to stick long term though. The main problem is I don't have anything in the apartment that is just "my space." He has his own office, but we share a bedroom. If my desk (not his) is messed up he tells me to organize it because it makes the room look messy. I have really tried to make more of an effort, the constant nagging is annoying though! Anybody deal with nagging partners? Sorry, I'm on your bf's side with this one. But, is it possible to get one of those decorative, standing, folding screens that you can pull in front of the desk to at least hide the mess? You can pull it back when you're sitting there so you don't feel closed in, but other times just pull it forward. That works best if your desk is in a corner rather than the middle of the wall/room. Do you have a good organization system? Sometimes that can really make the difference in keeping it organized as you go along rather than making a huge effort after letting it get messy for a long time. If you have drawer dividers, hanging folders, etc., it makes it easier to just pop things in there rather than piling them up.
angie2443 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 ah, ah... I'm not a marine, but I used to be very tidy and wife messy... I used to do all the house cleaning and then one day I gave up! Now I'm messy as well and she does all the cleaning (I do the rest...)... having 4 kids doesn't help either... lol 4 kids will do that to you! It's almost impossible to keep up.
norajane Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So I'm seeing most of you have hired professional cleaning services in order to deal with the housework. I have considered doing that, as fiance and I battle in out over cleaning on a regular basis. We met with the priest who is marrying us and he had us take this premartial quiz. We both marked that we both have concerns how each other handles housecleaning duties. When we meet with the priest again we know he is going to question us about that one! Fiance said he is going to tell him what a bomb my old apartment was! I understand hiring a service when you get a house, but for a 2 bedroom apartment? The main problem is that our versions of "clean" are different. You're going to have to find a way to compromise, find some common ground. Maybe he can pick the top 3 things that are most important to him that you keep clean, and then do it. And you can pick the 3 things you hate doing most and have him do it. Of course, if you both pick the same 3 things, this could be a problem.
hopeful1980 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 My husband is a better housekeeper than I am, but I clean more often than he does. He only cleans when absolutely necessary, while I come home every day and clean after work.
2sure Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I'm messy and H has always done things half assed - so , to avoid domestics and health problems we hired some help. Since we both work the expense was well worth the time we were able to spend doing other things. I still make my daughter clean up her room, vacuum it etc, and do her own laundry ....simply because these are things she has to learn and expect to do for herself until she has a job and income of her own. Hiring someone can be an every day thing which I know is a privilege OR just a monthly thing which can be more affordable than you think.
TudorII Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Both are clean but hiring a maid maid more time for us. Weekends were no longer about cleaning or catching up on laundry, it was more time for us! Maid's rock!
Star Gazer Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Well, LB...even having housekeepers won't stop the arguments! I say that jokingly, of course... but it has been a funny issue for me and BF. We have cleaning ladies. I thought we had just a cleaning lady (singular), until she showed up early one day when I was just stepping out of the shower with her entourage of 6 (SIX!) workers. Anyway, for months I b*tched and moaned about how much he was paying this lady (and her minion), as I just didn't think the work she/they did warranted the hefty fee (twice as much as other services in the area). The thing that bugged me the most was that I'd come home and things would be all in the wrong spot/misplaced/etc. Obvious things. Shampoo, once in the shower, would be on the counter. The vacuum would be found randomly in the middle of a room. These things irked me. His response was that he trusted this woman, felt safe with her, etc., etc. The advantage was that we always knew we had a perfectly clean house to come home to on Wednesdays... We're not the tidiest of people, so that was nice. And then she stopped showing up on Wednesdays as scheduled. We'd have to call and ask where she was/why she didn't show/etc., and she wouldn't provide an explanation, just "So sorry!" And then I realized that the kitchen counters weren't even being wiped clean... Pancake batter, or oil would still be on the counter. And then I noticed my socks were getting dirty, indoors. Yet still, BF wanted to keep her and her mini-country of workers. *shrug* It wasn't until last Friday, when he came home to a full washing machine of once-white towels stuffed in with a RED BLANKET, that he started to wonder... then he walked around the corner, and found a HOLE in the wall!... and then he found his favorite cashmere sweater in the dryer... and other things left unclean... that he finally decided to pull the plug. And now? We're panicking about getting a new cleaning lady, so that we don't fight about housekeeping! So yes... get a housekeeper.
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 My H used to be a clean person but over the 6 years we've been together hes become completely spoiled and he'll be the first to admit it. He has done ONE load of laundry since we've been married and I told him not to touch the washer ever again once I pulled the whites out and they had turned pink thanks to the red towel he put in with them...lol I think sometimes he messes things up so he won't be asked to do them again.
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