Lauriebell82 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Haha, thought that would be a good title for the thread. For all those married/engaged couples out there please post your stories about how you deal with housekeeping in your relationship in this thread!! Are you the clean one or messy one? Any funny stories? How do you deal with it?
Jeff1962 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 As a former marine, I am the tidy one. Wife is messy, not dirty though. I finally gave up on it. It's just life.
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 We're both pretty neat and clean but of the two of us, I'm a little more OCD about it. We ended up with our live-in nanny sooner than expected, so instead of taking care of Bump, since he/she isn't born yet, she's doing most of our cleaning. The only cleaning she's not doing, are the dishes, which H. does if I cook or we share, when he grills. I do the laundry, except for ironing his clothing. We each iron our own clothing but he pretends to deny it, in front of his friends. Watching him iron is so adorable. He towers over the ironing board and concentrates so hard, when he's doing it. It takes him forever and a-day but the end product is perfect, where every crease is gone and where it's supposed to be creased, has an exacting crease, down to the millimetre. You'd think it was brain surgery!
sb129 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Wow how did you manage to get the live in nanny so soon? Is it weird having someone else live with you when you haven't been living together for that long? We have just employed a nanny for when I go back to work and she will also do a bit of housework and cooking. A BIG relief I say, as its the only thing we really fight about.
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Timing. She came from a friend of mine who decided she didn't need her, since her only child turned 15, last November. Originally, she was going to keep her until her daughter turned 17 and then we were going to take her on as f/t domestic help, then within a year have our own first child. Things just got accelerated by a few years.... Edit: No, she's really discreet and she's got her own living quarters downstairs, with a private entrance.
allina Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My fiance and I are both pretty neat, me even more so. I actually enjoy cleaning out house, especially since we became home owners. My SO has taken on the jobs of taking out the trash and bringing it out on trash day but we share most other cleaning duties pretty evenly. I honestly could not live with someone who was messy, it makes me uncomfortable.
norajane Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 One of my exes had different ideas about tidy and clean than I did. He knew what clean and tidy was and that it didn't happen magically - his mother had taught him that. He just didn't like doing it. Being young, or maybe just being me, I had little to no patience with that. He wasn't a child that I would clean up after him all the time! I pretty much drew hard and clear lines: I refused to live with anything that was smelly, grungy, gunky or gross, particularly when it came to the kitchen, the bathroom, the refrigerator, the garbage, the dishes and the laundry. I could live with some dust, and clutter here and there was ok, but yucky was not. We were fortunate to have 3 bedrooms in the place, so I was able to confine most of his messy mess to the room he used as his cave. And I had my office/sitting room into which I retreated if he hadn't done his share of cleaning in the rest of the house. If he wanted to be with me, it would have to be in my room where it was clean. We each did our own laundry, and shared the rest of the housekeeping. I'd had experience living with guy roommates during college, so I also used a trick I'd learned. One warning, and if he didn't do something about it, I tossed it in the garbage. Dirty socks in the living room? Garbage. Greasy pan smelling up the kitchen? Garbage. Science experiment in the fridge? Garbage, dish and all. After losing a lot of socks and dirty sweatshirts, and fishing out a pan or two from the garbage can outside, he learned that I meant it. The garbage, or shall I say the recycling, became a problem. He was an avid recycler, to the point of picking up bottles and can and whatnot off the street and sidewalk if he saw them there and bringing them into the house for recycling. That was all fine and well, except he wasn't so good at taking the recycling down the stairs and to the curb on recycling day. So, surprise! It started to smell. After many arguments and too many times of having to carry down a heavy, unweildy recycling bin myself, I stopped doing it. I carried it into his cave instead. Somehow, that reminded him that he needed to take it downstairs. One day, I may tell you about my battle against the ants and his freaking bag of Cheetos in the bathroom...but I'm too grossed out remembering all this now.
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Some of you might remember what happened with my ex-H. He also was pretty neat and tidy normally but for some reason, got into a habit of leaving his socks lying around. So after asking him nicely to put them into the laundry basket, which didn't work very well, I got tired of picking them up and put them onto his pillow. He never did it again!
allina Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Some of you might remember what happened with my ex-H. He also was pretty neat and tidy normally but for some reason, got into a habit of leaving his socks lying around. So after asking him nicely to put them into the laundry basket, which didn't work very well, I got tired of picking them up and put them onto his pillow. He never did it again! Although my SO is very neat, the one sloppy habit he has is taking his socks of in the living room and leaving them on the floor in front of the couch. I have no idea why he does this but it's constant I may have to pull the pillow thing one day
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Although my SO is very neat, the one sloppy habit he has is taking his socks of in the living room and leaving them on the floor in front of the couch. I have no idea why he does this but it's constant I may have to pull the pillow thing one day If you do, expect a very unhappy face.
Woggle Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Both my wife and I know how to keep a clean house so this isn't an issue but after my divorce I just called in a professional cleaning crew.
allina Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 If you do, expect a very unhappy face. Ok, so if I do it I have to remember to blame the cats
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Ok, so if I do it I have to remember to blame the cats That would be so cute, each cat dragging a sock! Btw, nice avvy!
allina Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Both my wife and I know how to keep a clean house so this isn't an issue but after my divorce I just called in a professional cleaning crew. I feel like a lot of people get judgmental about people hiring cleaning crews but I think it can be helpful. My SO and I moved in to our house about a month before Thanksgiving. His family was flying in, and with the construction and the move our place was a disaster. I surprised him with getting a cleaning service to come in and clean before the holidays. It took so much pressure off of us and I'm glad I did it. Also, getting some external help is a great idea for couples who don't see eye to eye regarding cleaning.
allina Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 That would be so cute, each cat dragging a sock! Btw, nice avvy! Our cats like socks so it would be very believable And thank you for the compliment
Woggle Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I don't normally hire people but the house was in such bad shape after she left that I pretty much had everything redone.
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I strongly encourage people to get domestic help, if they can. It's just one less unnecessary stress. In my first marriage, we had someone come in regularly, to clean, as well. So we never fought about this, except for the socks thing and that got resolved really quickly. It was pretty inexpensive to do. This time, since we ended up with our nanny early, we're totally spoiled. She even grocery shops for us, so we can both focus on each other and our careers. Love isn't all about cleaning toilets. And when you have children, their fondest memories aren't going to be about you, swiffing the kitchen floor.
giotto Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 As a former marine, I am the tidy one. Wife is messy, not dirty though. I finally gave up on it. It's just life. ah, ah... I'm not a marine, but I used to be very tidy and wife messy... I used to do all the house cleaning and then one day I gave up! Now I'm messy as well and she does all the cleaning (I do the rest...)... having 4 kids doesn't help either... lol
curiousnycgirl Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I have to admit to hiring a housekeeper. I keep my house pretty neat and tidy - but I can never find the time to do the big stuff - cleaning floors, baseboards, dusting, window blinds, etc. So while I clean up after myself (including daily swiffering up the pet hair) - the housekeeper comes 1X every other week to do the thorough cleaning. I love that woman!!!!
sally4sara Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 He is messier but also the one that gets us motivated to clean more often. I would call him the Master of the Seems Clean. I am more of the pull everything out and actually clean. We put on music and take a room each till its done. We usually do laundry together too. I do most of the cooking and grocery shopping tho.
hotgurl Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I am much neater and do all the cleaning but sometimes I get tired and just give up. I would love to hire a cleaning service but we don't have the $$. Plus 50% of the problem is clutter.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 So I'm seeing most of you have hired professional cleaning services in order to deal with the housework. I have considered doing that, as fiance and I battle in out over cleaning on a regular basis. We met with the priest who is marrying us and he had us take this premartial quiz. We both marked that we both have concerns how each other handles housecleaning duties. When we meet with the priest again we know he is going to question us about that one! Fiance said he is going to tell him what a bomb my old apartment was! I understand hiring a service when you get a house, but for a 2 bedroom apartment? The main problem is that our versions of "clean" are different.
stefspets Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My husband and I are both messy. We do try to keep things clean but neither of us like to clean and we don't have a good system to manage clutter. Our joke is that we "put it on the pile" (whatever it is, piling it up is how we deal with it). I grocery shop and cook. We do our own laundry for the most part but recently I've been doing all of it since I am unemployed. I just go through every month or so and really clean everything and get rid of all the piles. He will help if I assign a task, otherwise it's not a priority for either of us.
Norville_Rogers Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Let's just put it this way.....I'm no longer with a girl because I was a neat freak and she was a total slob. Not a good mix. Of course, that wasn't the only difference we had. That's why she's an ex.
Jade 02 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 NOWAYYYYYYYYY I wouldn't evven let him do his own laundry when,I met him. I do housekeeping at high rise hotels/condos,and on my two days off I go through my home like a tornadoe,and get everything,and throughout the week,it dishes swish toilets,and sink not to shine (thats for day off) No man is in my home when I cleean,In fact noone is,and I don't want him cleaning nothing,just putting his dirtys where they go,and throw his trash away.YEP he's got it maid. LOL
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