Arabella Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 A while back I posted about the hate texts I got from my ex. For those who didn't read it, here is the post about it. He tried to patch it the morning after, making excuses and saying he had been drunk but I did not believe him. After that, I went NC for the first time and I was done with him. Well, a couple days back, feeling happy and mostly recuperated, I decided to email him, out of the blue, to tell him that I forgive him and wish him happiness. I expected nothing, I was doing it for myself, because I needed to. To my surprise, however, he responded with the following email... ----- Cant say I expected to ever hear from you again after reading what I texted you that one evening. For the record I was literally out of my mind on pills, cannabis, and alcohol. I have been clean since Jan 1st. I quit smoking also seriously I'm using Nicorette gum. It was never a facade about how I felt about you. I still care deeply about you tho you will never believe that again. I'm sad that I've forever lost you as a partner. I lost myself which destroyed what we had. I cannot forgive myself for that even tho you have forgiven me. Love always, xxxxx ------ My email did not contain anything mushy and I even mentioned I am dating someone new and hoped he is happy too so it surprised me a lot to see him make himself so vulnerable. I don't even know if I should respond. When we ended, I begged him for closure, or at least not leave our last contact as harsh and angry words and he ignored everything. Now this. It almost feels like I should take it as 'wish granted' and not respond... but given that I initiated the exchange, would it be rude not to? Either way... it felt good to receive this. He regrets it, he realizes what he did... that's good enough for me. Arabella
deux ex machina Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 After everything, I would just take it for what it is, and not respond. You would not be rude, it has to stop at some point. This is a good point to let it go. Just gently let it go.
alphamale Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Either way... it felt good to receive this. He regrets it, he realizes what he did... that's good enough for me. yes u have earned the right to wallow in a pool of smugness
Devil Inside Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 It almost feels like I should take it as 'wish granted' and not respond He regrets it, he realizes what he did... that's good enough for me. Arabella What you said here is pretty much my vote.
Author Arabella Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Alpha, I can't tell if you were being sarcastic or not... but yeah I kinda feel like after everything he put me through, it's my right to take what satisfaction I can from this email <_< You guys pretty much confirmed my initial impression that I shouldn't respond... because honestly, it also makes me slightly bitter. Like, NOW that it's over he cleans up his act, and not when it mattered? *sigh* Yeah, that's not a can of worms I want to open. I'll let this one go. Arabella
GrayClouds Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 The wound is healing do not break it open.
Beeotch Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 A while back I posted about the hate texts I got from my ex. For those who didn't read it, here is the post about it. He tried to patch it the morning after, making excuses and saying he had been drunk but I did not believe him. After that, I went NC for the first time and I was done with him. Well, a couple days back, feeling happy and mostly recuperated, I decided to email him, out of the blue, to tell him that I forgive him and wish him happiness. I expected nothing, I was doing it for myself, because I needed to. To my surprise, however, he responded with the following email... ----- Cant say I expected to ever hear from you again after reading what I texted you that one evening. For the record I was literally out of my mind on pills, cannabis, and alcohol. I have been clean since Jan 1st. I quit smoking also seriously I'm using Nicorette gum. It was never a facade about how I felt about you. I still care deeply about you tho you will never believe that again. I'm sad that I've forever lost you as a partner. I lost myself which destroyed what we had. I cannot forgive myself for that even tho you have forgiven me. Love always, xxxxx ------ My email did not contain anything mushy and I even mentioned I am dating someone new and hoped he is happy too so it surprised me a lot to see him make himself so vulnerable. I don't even know if I should respond. When we ended, I begged him for closure, or at least not leave our last contact as harsh and angry words and he ignored everything. Now this. It almost feels like I should take it as 'wish granted' and not respond... but given that I initiated the exchange, would it be rude not to? Either way... it felt good to receive this. He regrets it, he realizes what he did... that's good enough for me. Arabella Yea I think you should leave it be. You already wished him luck and success and all of that so that should be all. Or if anything just say, "Thank you. I truly appreciate it" and leave it at that. When I read his texts to you, I could have told you that he is a tortured soul and when people behave in that way for seemingly no reason, the problem is them and not you. So it is best to leave it alone as usually one day they realize their ways, even if they never say it (he may never have said it if u didnt email him, but he clearly felt some way about it). That realization is punishment alone for their actions and what you can do is to treat them kindly and do you.
Angel1111 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Like, NOW that it's over he cleans up his act, and not when it mattered? *sigh* But who says it will last? I mean, these little 'I'm sorry' and 'I've straightened my life up' things don't mean that these people fully learn their lessons. So, he's been sober and clean for 18 days? Big deal. The fact that he even has to make that claim pretty much says it all. Stay away from guys like this in the future. They're nothing but big babies.
Odyssey Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Arabella, you've both said your piece. case closed. the end. move on. the next chapter will be better.
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