Orchid8 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 So it's been two weeks since we've been dating, talking and texting every night. This past weekend, we were supposed to get together but he flaked on Saturday and wanted to hang out Sunday instead. So today, I get a text message from him saying he can't make it today and that he's totally available on Monday because he has to drive to San Diego to look at properties for his dad. Anyway, I told him maybe it isn't going to work out if we never have time for each other and to take care. Am I overeacting and do I have a right to be upset? Am I just coming on too strong when I told him I hate flakes and that I respect people's time and want the same? I like this guy and I don't want to lose him because I want to see where this goes. Is it too late to get him back? I was being irrational and emotional and I'm afraid it might be too late to get him back. What should I do? Does he need time? Or should I just apologize? Please help..I am going crazy here.
alphamale Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Am I overeacting and do I have a right to be upset? you've been dating 2 weeks? you are overreacting and you dont have a right to be mad. call him and apologize.
sunshinegirl Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Two weeks and you expect contact every day? You're overreacting and will drive him away if you can't accept that he has a life and interests and time commitments apart from you. I would suggest apologizing, and then backing off and letting him come to you when he wants to contact/see you. The hottest flame usually burns out the quickest...
Author Orchid8 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 Would he want to hear an apology? He is over me just like that? He said he was into me earlier but I think I really screwed things up.
alphamale Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Would he want to hear an apology? He is over me just like that? He said he was into me earlier but I think I really screwed things up. you did really screw things up now get on the horn and make that call O8
Author Orchid8 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I texted him saying I was sorry that I overreacted and that I was bummed because I wanted to see him today. I hate waiting to see if he will respond or not.. The waiting game really sucks! Do guys need time before they respond to something like this? Do you think he's done? I already sent him my final text saying I'm sorry. What is a reasonable amount of time to wait before getting a response? So I know not to go crazy if I don't hear anything after an hour and will move on.
Balthazar Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 OP, relax and LET HIM CHASE you....let him initiate contact Believe me....we men enjoy it more that way!
sunshinegirl Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 You shouldn't have said you wanted to see him today. But whatever, it's been sent. Now: DON'T TEXT OR CALL OR REACH OUT TO HIM AGAIN. You wait for him to get back to you. Period. Even better, you get busy with your own fabulous, full, and wonderful life. And if your life isn't those things right now? Get to work making it so.
alphamale Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 What is a reasonable amount of time to wait before getting a response? So I know not to go crazy if I don't hear anything after an hour and will move on. 24 to 48 hours
Author Orchid8 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 Thank you all for your advice. I am really going nuts wondering if he will talk to me again. I am taking your advice and not reaching out again so the ball is in his court. He said that he is really into me (before I overreacted) so do you think I still have a chance to get him back? I won't stop living life and waiting for him. But just want to know if there is hope he will forgive me. Afterall, he did flake on me twice so he should understand why I am upset.
Balthazar Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Forget what he says...action are important, not words. Give him some time to miss you... If he really is into you, he will be back within a week or so for a date. If he doesn't get back to you, do not contact him. It means he isn't interested and nothing will come out of it.
GAchasen Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Forget what he says...action are important, not words. Give him some time to miss you... If he really is into you, he will be back within a week or so for a date. If he doesn't get back to you, do not contact him. It means he isn't interested and nothing will come out of it. BEST advice.....It took me a long time to grasp this concept. It is so true!!! Words are just that, does he show you he cares....now that is something totally different!~~
Author Orchid8 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 He is a genuine and caring guy, very chivalrous, and a gentleman. He usually does what he says (except this past weekend with being flaky). He calls when he say he will, makes plans to drive down to see me (we live an hour away) and did. I just don't like that I was looking forward to seeing him and felt let down that plans were canceled on both nights. He did offer to come see me tomorrow to make up to me but I already have plans with my friends.... Of course, this was before I overreacted and now..we aren't talking.
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Orchid.. You broke it off with him.. He most likely isn't going to call.. he may but honestly after only 2 weeks you break it off I'd be gone.. Do what Alpha suggested and call him and apologize.. you will get back on the path again with him.. If you had been dating for months or years then playing the waiting game would work but after 2 weeks.. no way.. I told him maybe it isn't going to work out if we never have time for each other and to take care.
alphamale Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Do what Alpha suggested and call him and apologize.. you will get back on the path again with him.. .. i agree with this course of action
GAchasen Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Well, has this happend to you often with men? I don't think you did anything terrible. It seemed like he wanted to see you, even after he broke plans with you. You definitely don't want him to think you don't have a life outside him. I think making plans with your friends is a great idea. You cannot stop activities in your life, simply because you met a guy and he chooses when he can see you. I guess my point is....if he likes you, he will contact you. It doesn't matter what you told him. If he is into you, then what you told him won't matter.
Author Orchid8 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 i agree with this course of action Isn't texting him an apology the same as calling and apologizing? I did send him an "I'm sorry I overreacted" text. Do men prefer to be called and apologized to? I thought only women cared about that....
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Pick up the phone.. who wants to hear their sorry thru a text.. 2 WEEKS is all you have been dating him... a text would just get deleted by me in that circumstance..
2sunny Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 So it's been two weeks since we've been dating, talking and texting every night. This past weekend, we were supposed to get together but he flaked on Saturday and wanted to hang out Sunday instead. So today, I get a text message from him saying he can't make it today and that he's totally available on Monday Am I overeacting and do I have a right to be upset? Am I just coming on too strong when I told him I hate flakes and that I respect people's time and want the same? i honestly think he's not that into you... he may have met someone else. most guys that want to see you wouldn't cancel a Saturday date... THEN also cancel Sunday (especially by TEXT) a guy that cares would CALL! a guy that wants to avoid will text. are you over reacting? yes. is there anything to salvage? probably not since you already to action and it looks as if you over reacted. next time - wait it out, relaaaaax... a woman doing the chasing isn't usually as appealing to a man as a gal that seems busy enough to go have fun whether he's there or not. since a few hours have passed since you sent the last text and he hasn't responded, he's letting you know you aren't the priority at the moment. do not send any more texts, do not be the one to call.
MSUE Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 2 weeks? I think u need to chill...u r already coming aacross clingy, needy and that is not something guys particularly like...just chill...let it be...let it run its course
Author Orchid8 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Well, has this happend to you often with men? I don't think you did anything terrible. It seemed like he wanted to see you, even after he broke plans with you. You definitely don't want him to think you don't have a life outside him. I think making plans with your friends is a great idea. You cannot stop activities in your life, simply because you met a guy and he chooses when he can see you. I guess my point is....if he likes you, he will contact you. It doesn't matter what you told him. If he is into you, then what you told him won't matter. I'm sorry but has what happened to me often? Guys flaking? No, not often. I usually don't go out beyond the first date unless it's someone I have a connection with and most of them don't flake. I totally agree, I am not about to change plans and flake on my friends to work around his schedule especially since he's flaked on me twice. If we were together longer, I would be more flexible but I don't know him well to enough to cancel plans just to be with him. Plus you're right, it was too terrible what I did..not like I yelled and threw a fit.
alphamale Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Isn't texting him an apology the same as calling and apologizing? ... no .
Author Orchid8 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 2 weeks? I think u need to chill...u r already coming aacross clingy, needy and that is not something guys particularly like...just chill...let it be...let it run its course Ok that might normally be true but I think he is too because when I don't respond to his tex/calls for a few hours, he gives me a hard time (although he does it jokingly). Actually, I think he is more clingy than I am because he initiates most of the texts throughout the day. I give him space but can't do that if I need to respond to his texts.
2sunny Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 how old are you both - sounds like you are young...
Author Orchid8 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Pick up the phone.. who wants to hear their sorry thru a text.. 2 WEEKS is all you have been dating him... a text would just get deleted by me in that circumstance.. Good advice...for the future! I already reached out to him with a text so anymore reaching out on my part would seem psycho to him I think. If we are going to talk again, he would have to reach out first at this point.
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