Ilovehim Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 this forum is filled with too much negativity...everytime someone asks for advice all you hear is "MOVE ON" "LET GO"...sometimes they are right but not always...i have made mistakes or decided to take longer to date someone..if my ex would have ever came to this website for advice, im sure all he would have heard is "SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU blah blah blah" ...no offense to all you guys but seriously the negativity ALL THE TIME is not good...i understand sometimes things truly are bad and you have to see things for what they are but if things seem unclear, most you guys are so quick to jump to conlcusions... i mean i read the marriage threads and all you see is problems and negativity..dating site just as well.....i guess thats because people only ask for advice when they have a problem and the people who give advice are the ones who have had or are currently having problems...but most people on this website tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full...
alphamale Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 ...but most people on this website tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full... either way you only have a half a glass of water
harmfulsweetz Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 this forum is filled with too much negativity...everytime someone asks for advice all you hear is "MOVE ON" "LET GO"...sometimes they are right but not always...i have made mistakes or decided to take longer to date someone..if my ex would have ever came to this website for advice, im sure all he would have heard is "SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU blah blah blah" ...no offense to all you guys but seriously the negativity ALL THE TIME is not good...i understand sometimes things truly are bad and you have to see things for what they are but if things seem unclear, most you guys are so quick to jump to conlcusions... i mean i read the marriage threads and all you see is problems and negativity..dating site just as well.....i guess thats because people only ask for advice when they have a problem and the people who give advice are the ones who have had or are currently having problems...but most people on this website tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full... To be fair, people on this site only offer advice based on what the OP gives. If an OP writes about a particular problem, and they need advice on that, they'll get honest advice. That's not to say it's the right advice, just honest, true advice. No one says you should definitely go ahead and do that, or whatever, if you know in your heart, it's not what you need and want to do. Only you can make those decisions for you, because you know your situation fully, we only get a half-glimpse. Again, to be honest, people come on here, asking advice off anonymous strangers, and they can't expect these strangers to really have a clue about the whole picture, it's like giving them a chapter out of a book, asking them to read it, and say what they think is going to happen in the end. They will either be right or they will either be wrong. It's up to the person with the full book to work that out, and take the advice or leave it.
tkgirl Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 this forum is filled with too much negativity...everytime someone asks for advice all you hear is "MOVE ON" "LET GO"...sometimes they are right but not always...i have made mistakes or decided to take longer to date someone..if my ex would have ever came to this website for advice, im sure all he would have heard is "SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU blah blah blah" ...no offense to all you guys but seriously the negativity ALL THE TIME is not good...i understand sometimes things truly are bad and you have to see things for what they are but if things seem unclear, most you guys are so quick to jump to conlcusions... i mean i read the marriage threads and all you see is problems and negativity..dating site just as well.....i guess thats because people only ask for advice when they have a problem and the people who give advice are the ones who have had or are currently having problems...but most people on this website tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full... yeah, it's rare to find a happy love story on here... And I know what you mean about the negativity on here... it does get old. But I've figured out after being on here for a while which people to avoid... or take their "advice" with a grain of salt. At the same time, there are a few really cool people on here too... so don't give up on LS completely!
sunshinegirl Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 People who have happy love stories aren't typically frequenting boards like this...so it's not that they don't exist, it's that this kind of board attracts people who are confused, have questions, are uncertain, upset, etc. Having spent a fair amount of time on breakup boards, as well as this dating board, I noticed over time that there are a finite number of problems/questions/issues that come up again and again and again... and in the vast majority of cases, the relationship in question doesn't work out. That's why my advice, when I offer it on a board like this, is usually to the tune of "let go, move on". The right relationship, IME, doesn't spur the kind of questions and insecurities that people discuss on this board. this forum is filled with too much negativity...everytime someone asks for advice all you hear is "MOVE ON" "LET GO"...sometimes they are right but not always...i have made mistakes or decided to take longer to date someone..if my ex would have ever came to this website for advice, im sure all he would have heard is "SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU blah blah blah" ...no offense to all you guys but seriously the negativity ALL THE TIME is not good...i understand sometimes things truly are bad and you have to see things for what they are but if things seem unclear, most you guys are so quick to jump to conlcusions... i mean i read the marriage threads and all you see is problems and negativity..dating site just as well.....i guess thats because people only ask for advice when they have a problem and the people who give advice are the ones who have had or are currently having problems...but most people on this website tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full...
threebyfate Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Everyone on this board is relying on information provided by the opening poster. If the OP solely writes about the negative, they're only going to get negative responses. If they write a more realistic version which balances both sides of the equation, they'll get more balanced responses, albeit it's true, they'll still get some negative responses. In short form, here's a few examples of the average thread: Thread: My b/f or g/f treats me like crap. Should I dump him/her? Response: YES! Thread: Is he/she playing me? He/she says they love me but lies all the time about seeing others. Response: YES, he/she's playing you. Walk on by. Thread: My ex cheated on me and was really nasty, during the breakup. Should I give him/her a second chance? Response: NO, are you an idiot, to go back to someone who's treated you like crap? If the threads were written as follows, the responses might change: Thread: My b/f or g/f spoils me to death, treating me like a prince/princess but this once, he/she ignored my text while at work. Response: If your b/f or g/f normally treats you extremely well and doesn't show a pattern of negative behaviour, why not wait until he/she responds, to find out what's up. It's possible he/she's busy at work.
LexiB Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 ...i guess thats because people only ask for advice when they have a problem and the people who give advice are the ones who have had or are currently having problems... Bingo. You don't go to a therapist unless you've got issues right? Well you dont go to the dating/coping etc sites of this forum absent the same circumstances. To the LS community's credit though, the occasional festive relationship story does pop up from time to time...look deep.
aerogurl87 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I hate to say it but most people on here are either bitter or heartbroken so yeah you usually find more pessimists than optimists here. With that said, there are some happy threads, you just have to search for them. Plus most people come on here to ask for advice on problems going on in their relationships, not to tell about how happy they are. Although there are exceptions, but those are also the threads that usually get more overlooked.
Balthazar Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 People in happy, functional relationships are not allowed to post on LS under penalty of death....
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 People in happy, functional relationships are not allowed to post on LS under penalty of death....Quoted for truth!
Balthazar Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Quoted for truth! Hey...wait a minute! Aren't you happily married and expecting a child? I'm gonna go call the moderator right now! Hey TONY!!!!!
threebyfate Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Hey...wait a minute! Aren't you happily married and expecting a child? I'm gonna go call the moderator right now! Hey TONY!!!!! If we keep this going, Tony's going to bring down the off-topic ban stick! Sorry ilh for going off-topic but happiness is dissuaded on LS.
Author Ilovehim Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 lol your guys all are making sense... thanks for clearing that up for me, i was starting to think everyone was going pessimistic :plol and you're right based on what you tell is the answer you'll get but sometimes people ask things such as "she ignored me for a couple days" and most people instead of advising to talk to her see whats going on, they will quickly jump to "dont bother with her, just move on." i dont know...just my opinion..things arent always black and white, no? at least there should be an attempt in situations like this to see what the problem is...im not talking about very obvious situations..
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