WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Been in no contact since early December, and broke NC on his birthday last week. Short funny message to wish him a happy birthday. Got a condescending message back, with concern over my (mental?) well-being and he also mentioned that hope I'll be ok next week since it would have been our anniversary then. Yes I was a mess when we broke up, but isn't that normal? I'm probably not the most stable person in the world at the best of times, but as if I'd be killing myself over HIM? Please. The message made me feel ****ty. I'm just wondering why he is being so arrogant about it? I'm getting better, and have even been on dates. I've got some good advice on here so thank you for reading and please if you have any words of wisdom, they would be much appreciated. I'm clearly still far away from being considered a 'normal person' in his eyes. To think I thought this person knew be better than anyone. Nah, not a chance.
gaudi Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 A good example here of why NC should be exactly that, NO contact. You took the time to be nice and wish him well on his birthday, that's great. But look how it's ended up making you feel. When you are in the kind of place were we are, ALL contact should be avoided, unless of course it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, that could mean children, settlement of bills, papers to sign or anything along those lines. Birthday wishes do not fall into the category of necessary contact as far as I'm concerned. You say you can't believe this from someone who knew you better than anyone. Well I feel the same about my EX now. But someone on here told me that our EX's aren't the same person anymore. They are now strangers who we do not know, and unfortunately I think mine should certainly be treated as such (to an extent). Forget about wishing him well on his special day, work on making every day special for you.
HLP234 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 You should not have sent him that message. Any form of contact that does not come first from them..gives them the reason to make you feel like crap, gives him an advantage because he sees you still care but he doesn't. My birthday will be soon sometime next month..I doubt my ex will wish me a happy one since she left without saying a word and hasn't said anything since. I'm not expecting anything but if I do get anything, there won't even be a thank you. Let them wonder about you and feel the way you do. Its the only way to get better, by just ignoring them. Like gaudi says, Ex's are just acquaintances now, they should not even be considered friends if they have hurt you and are not completely over them.
Author WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Yeah I probably shouldn't have sent the message. I debated whether to send it for a few days, and since the last time we spoke I was a bit bitter, I decided to send it. I didn't want to come across as still being bitter over everything. Trying to be the bigger person. I did a lot wrong in the relationship, as did he and I'm trying to forgive and learn. I'm not looking to reconcile with him at all. I was just annoyed that he was so incredibly condescending towards me. I mean, 'take care' at the end as well? I was not looking to start any conversation, didn't ask any questions, I'm just wishing him a happy bday. I know I shouldn't care but I am annoyed. Still, not going to contact him after this.
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