bekki10 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I split up with my partner last month through trust issues and the threats he was making towards me when we would argue. He was constantly calling me everyday at first but i would ignore him or switch my phone off because i was really upset with him but now he has stopped calling me completely which makes me think that hes now got someone else. Since we have split i have felt a bit better in myself that im not stressing about what he s up to anymore or that hes not causing silly arguements with me then when we argue he threatends me but now im really missing him and im thinking about him everyday. We did spend good times together and i really wanted to settle down with him but everytime he went back home (we live in different citys) i would find out about oyher women he was talking to and i just couldnt trust him. When he caled we would argue about the past that he has done and how he made me feel but he wouldnt listen and blamed me for everything then the agueing would turn into threats from him then he would scare me. i started drinking and getting stressed I was always wondering what he was up especaially when he went to wor because he worked in a club. We got on great sometimes then he would just change in to a totally different person. accusing me of things and being aggresive and he would freak me out with the weird things he did then he would be lovely again and they are the times i think about. I do really miss and still love him tho and i dont know what to do about how i feel. i cant talk to anyone about this. My family and friends say h was no good for me and i need to move on but i have been through this now for 4 years and i cant see him ever changing now especailly the aggressive ways and the womanising. my kids done like him either. i wish i didnt feel this way but i do i just cant seem to gt over him. what do u advise me to do???
Vampire Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I wish there was a single solution that would fix the problem Bekki, but unfortunately, we're all in the magic solution boat. I guess it really is a case of time healing all wounds. Find something to keep you as busy and occupied as possible. It's when you're left alone too long that your mind starts working overtime. He doesn't sound like a balanced person at all. You need to ignore the negative comments and start on building your confidence back up. You and your kids are the priority. How were you before you got together with him? How did you change while together? Do you even recognise yourself anymore? Personally, I don't recognise myself at all and am working on getting the real me back on track. This is a good place to use as a sounding board.
Author bekki10 Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Thanks for your comment! Before i met him i was bubbly, i went out with my friends and i was a nice person. I never had any trust issues with my other partners. During the time i was with him when he started messing around the trust thing started i got very paranoid, checking emails,his phone, paranoid about myself because he was looking at other women even though he always complimented me and made me feel good ,paying for dating sites, then there was the fear of him when he used to shout and lock me in his room or getting aggressive with me. Then there was the mental abuse where he would make me think it was all my fault and i do think sometimes did i do this or that. maybe if i did this etc. Now i have finished with him im thinking is it my fault maybe i should have done more or should i give him another chance and work harder. Even tho i wanted to talk to him i couldnt help but shout at him or spk to him with an attitude that caused the arguing. He has totally mess my head up. Im not as bubbly my friends and family say hes changed me, i have a lot of fear in me from the aggression and threats i have horrible thoughts that go through my mind and im an angry person not with others but when i spoke to him the last few months i would call him names bring up the past. and just cause arguments. Now im less stressed and trying to get on with things. we havnt spoke for a while now and im hoping to continue with it. Even tho i think hes proberly met some one else and hes happy with her and treating her better and not cheating but thats something i gotta stop thinking about.
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