Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Yeah, she works in the same way as the people over in my thread.. lol.. if you don't like the answers, skew the facts. If you don't like the question, respond with a question rather than an answer.. Good night BB07... I am tired. polk, If you want to know my story, read my thread.... You will just keep finding new reasons why you should measure a man by his wallet. it is a shame. Personally, I don't have an issue with you being with a MM, it is your reason for that particular MM that I find repulsive. You wouldn't be with him, if he earned less... that will lead you to nowhere but lonely. You will miss that great guy, cause he is wearing jeans and workboots... makes me sad for you. What MM makes is of no consequence...I don't take his money. I think it's sad that I am expected to settle and not strive for a quality guy.
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Ok..so he is pulling in retirement pay..and a salary..hence the decent salary Not all blue collared guys are alike I pointed out that you are no better than me because you come across like your MM is your husband. He isn't I am quite certain that I make it quite clear that he is My MM, and I am His OW.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 What MM makes is of no consequence...I don't take his money. I think it's sad that I am expected to settle and not strive for a quality guy. I also wanted to add...MM is extremely ambitious and has worked his a$$ off to go far in his company. I find that attractive
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I think it's sad that I am expected to settle and not strive for a quality guy. No, you are settling for another woman's table scraps. He isn't a quality guy. And, noone is telling you to settle with some guy who is a dork (a dork is a dork, money or not!)..
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 The problem with you is a quality guy is one who has a large bank account and the other characteristics that most of us value are secondary to you. That is pretty clear from everything you've told us and you come across as very shallow. A quality guy does not only live in a business suit and have a large bank account attached, quality can be the guy who is the mechanic at the local garage, quality can be the guy who works at the walmart down the road or it can be the guy in the suit at the bank. Quality is all about what it inside, not what is on the outside, but you don't get that. I also find ambition, kindness and compassion to be important qualities(which doesn't cost a dime). I never said it was by income/potential for income alone!
pureinheart Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 No, you are settling for another woman's table scraps. He isn't a quality guy. And, noone is telling you to settle with some guy who is a dork (a dork is a dork, money or not!).. LOL WWIU, I haven't heard the term "dork" in years....how cool...shows my age huh....
pureinheart Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I also find ambition, kindness and compassion to be important qualities(which doesn't cost a dime). I never said it was by income/potential for income alone! Hey Polk, I saw your heart from the beginning, and you have a good heart. You could possibly have some different views from others as I have only read bits and pieces of this particular thread....certain things said may have sounded a particular way, although I think some things got misinterpreted, and if they weren't you still are entiltled to think how you want! You know, I am so grateful to live in the area I live....it is basically a conservative area, yet it lacks the judgemental garbage that a lot of places have. I did not understand much about "prejudice" because there was very little. People accepted people for who they were. You have a right to say what you want. I think if you have an issue or an opinion concerning things/issues in general you should be able to vent. I have found lately that putting others on the defensive seems to be the thing to do. For me Polk, concerning this particular issue...I have been cheated on a lot, I have cheated....when I got cheated on, I hurt for a bit and moved on. i have dealt with sooooo much stuff and hurt in my life that there is not time to hang onto one thing forever because I've got to have room to deal with all of the other hurt. Everyone is hurting/has hurts/unmet dreams ect....although it could be worse and I wish we could all just come together and REALLY help each other instead of creating more hurt. I have lashed out because I have been backed into corners, had games played with me ect and it is ridiculous.... I would rather shine stuff on, although there are times when stuff needs to be brought right out on the table and discussed in a humane manor, with understanding and the realization that none of us is above reproach. Certain things are not even worth dealing with.... What is important is that Polk, you are a human being, my sister, and I will hurt with you and laugh with you.... What is important is that it is my grandsons B-Day tomorrow and my family is getting together....I just have to share something...my daughter was in the hospital having premature labor with twins...I had the little guys...my oldest little guy got into my melatonin, I wasn't sure how much he took....we were all so stressed out....it was Christmas day...I pulled up in the ambulance with my little guy(grandson) and when they opened the ambulance doors there was my daughters h's sister standing there with open arms telling me how much she loved me and that she was praying for us....that it what is important. I see the games that I have played, I see the games others play and it just doesn't make much sense whenh it comes right down to it, does it? You say what you need to....and Polk you know who you are, it makes no difference if no one else does....we are all diamond in the rough....GBU
OWoman Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Polks, I'm late to the fray here, but... like you, I also don't believe in settling for someone who falls short of my standards. If you know what works for you and what doesn't, then stick by that. Personally, I have a great many social friends who are "blue collar" and we get on just great. But in R terms, that's never worked out for me because of MY job and MY orientation - they find that too threatening and develop a chip on their shoulder sooner or later, so like you, I've tended to fish in my own pond for R material. I share your views about "what's out there". I've had a great many SGs and many MMs in my time - I'm older than you - and, having Dd in my early 20s, I was also a single mother. It was an instant magnet to SGs - they all wanted to "save" me, as if I was some helpless female who needed a big strong man in my life, ffs! The minute I let it be known that I wasn't in the market for "saving", that I was in control and anything I wanted was to be on my terms, the response was polar: some fled. They couldn't deal with an independent woman. Others clung. They wanted to marry and breed and make a brady bunch . So I fled . The only guys I find that want/ed what I want/ed were MMs. And yes, there is some real class out there, if you look in the right place. And yes, if what you want is some MM who'll dump his current W for you, there are lots of those, too. But if what you want is your CURRENT MM to dump his BW for you - that might not happen. Many MMs don't, and, IME, it's when the OW is doing just fine on her own and NOT wanting the MM to dump the BW for her that he's most likely to do so. It's almost perverse. I think you need to be upfront about what you want with a prospective partner. If what you want is some fun on the side, a MM is perfect. If what you want is "happily ever after", you need to find someone who wants that too, whether M or S. Few MMs go into As with the explicit intention of finding a replacement W. Some "develop feelings" along the way and land up there, but a great many - perhaps most - simply stay put. And so, while dating a plumber seems to you to be a high-risk, low-benefit option, you may come to find the same thing of dating a MM. At some point you may have to choose between "settling" for something less than optimal (whether the type of person, eg a welder, or the type of R, eg a long-term A that will only ever be an A) or being alone. It all depends on what is less abhorrent to you.
2sure Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 As i said before - I consider myself average in most ways. Even so, I find nothing wrong with OP wanting to date men of a particular professional or income level. I have always done it myself and besides everyone has preferences. Nothing wrong with that. Even as an average woman, I had no difficulty finding men - both available and not - that met my requirements and were also interested in me. And now, at age 45 with a divorce on the horizon...I do not anticipate having any problem at all attracting a man of the financial and professional caliber I desire...should I be so inclined. So, all of that being said ..OP: Why is it that you, who are above average , are attracting only "bottom of the barrel" men?? Gotta be a reason. Look closer.
herenow Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 (edited) I only read the first few posts, but you seem to be happy with your situation. So, I guess it's what works for you. As far as the "type" of men you attract, not knowing you, I can't tell you why the "desirable" single guys aren't interested in you. Maybe if you were more open to seeing what's inside and not just their shell and bank account, successful attractive single guys would find you more attractive. However, again you seem to be fine with the MM and satisfied with his status, so I would have to say carry on and I'm glad you are happy. Edited January 19, 2010 by herenow
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