Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Actually the more you post, the more it is apparent you haven't settled at all. You just haven't attained that caretaker dude yet. Your criteria isn't isn't new or even unusual. It is after all the evolutionary theory. Female find a man with enough resources to take care of her and her offspring. Who gives a damn if he has any morals or integrity. As long as his collar is white and his pockets full. I get that. What's so sad about this, it speaks volumes of what you think of yourself and your ability to do those things for yourself and just be with someone you love because you do love them and they are a good person...even if the dug ditches for a living. Word of advice, our children are always watching our actions, whether we want them to or not. I can take care of myself and my kids. It isn't about that. It's about having a partner who can love me but who can also buy me a nice ring and not moan about how much it costs. I crave thoughtfulness...God knows I didn't get it from my ex DH
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Well on the dating sites...if he is blue colllar but is trying to better himself(college on the side for example, maybe an eye on getting into management) I would consider him. But if he is Joe Blue Collar whose profile is poorly written and/or full of spelling errors, sorry...I pass. As for where I live...I live in a small city where it's mostly families and 20somethings. Not a whole lot of single men in my peer group. Stop going on dating sites!!!!!!!! Small City as in less than 20,000 population? How small is small? Maybe it's time to move into a BIG City.
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I can take care of myself and my kids. It isn't about that. It's about having a partner who can love me but who can also buy me a nice ring and not moan about how much it costs. I crave thoughtfulness...God knows I didn't get it from my ex DH You crave more than thoughtfulness and we all know it. What if those posters on match put those spelling errors in a phony profile to weed out women who are after deep pockets. Have you ever seen the movie How To Marry A Millionaire? Oldie but goodie. You remind me of the ladies in that movie.
norajane Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 All I am saying is that white collar guys tend to make better livings. When and if I do meet a man who can be 100% mine, I would prefer that he be in a position to present me with some of the nicer things that life has to offer. What is wrong with that? You haven't yet learned that the nicer things in life have a lot more to do with heart and character and caring and humor and honesty than what money can buy. You say you're looking for a companion, but your criteria is financial. In any case, you should take a look at these averages. Average salary of a pipefitter: [url=http://swz.salary.com/salarywizard/layouthtmls/swzl_compresult_national_SC16000461.html][/url]http://swz.salary.com/salarywizard/layouthtmls/swzl_compresult_national_SC16000461.html Average salary of a systems analyst: http://swz.salary.com/salarywizard/layouthtmls/swzl_compresult_national_IT10000065.html
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I can take care of myself and my kids. It isn't about that. It's about having a partner who can love me but who can also buy me a nice ring and not moan about how much it costs. I crave thoughtfulness... Thoughtfulness has NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY. My H does tons of thoughtful things for me and it doesn't cost him a penny! He will make me tea, or he'll just lean over and give me a kiss. Or he'll say come here, let me give you a foot rub.. No reason, just because. It's those smaller things that are MUCH MORE important than a nice piece of jewellery. Seems you just have a high expectation and that is another reason why you're having a harder time finding the right guy. Not saying high maitenance, but you have a high standard (money) and being with the MM, he may have money but he is NOT acting like a white collared man by cheating and betraying, lying to his wife every single day. He is not the man you think he is... One day he could be YOUR husband and you know first hand what he is capable of!! Please keep that in mind if you two do end up together.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I think the nice ring means more to you than the partner who loves you. Let me ask you a question.........just suppose for a minute that you are older and you are on your death bed, what is going to mean more to you at that time, the people who love you and you've loved or that big rock on your finger that is going to rot in the ground with you? Think about it. But why can't a person have love and thoughtfulness(substitute the ring with a bouquet of handpicked flowers..the sentiment is the same) at the same time? Plenty of my married friends have loving and giving husbands. Is such a species that elusive?
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Thoughtfulness has NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY. My H does tons of thoughtful things for me and it doesn't cost him a penny! He will make me tea, or he'll just lean over and give me a kiss. Or he'll say come here, let me give you a foot rub.. No reason, just because. It's those smaller things that are MUCH MORE important than a nice piece of jewellery. Seems you just have a high expectation and that is another reason why you're having a harder time finding the right guy. Not saying high maitenance, but you have a high standard (money) and being with the MM, he may have money but he is NOT acting like a white collared man by cheating and betraying, lying to his wife every single day. He is not the man you think he is... One day he could be YOUR husband and you know first hand what he is capable of!! Please keep that in mind if you two do end up together. It is not about money but about drive and ambition.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Drive and ambition has nothing to do with wanting a man to spend money and buy a ring. Drive and ambition also can be a blue collared guy.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Drive and ambition has nothing to do with wanting a man to spend money and buy a ring. Drive and ambition also can be a blue collared guy. How can a blue collared guy be ambitious?
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Stop going on dating sites!!!!!!!! Small City as in less than 20,000 population? How small is small? Maybe it's time to move into a BIG City. I have kids and a divorce decree that states I cannot move out of this area.
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 But why can't a person have love and thoughtfulness(substitute the ring with a bouquet of handpicked flowers..the sentiment is the same) at the same time? Plenty of my married friends have loving and giving husbands. Is such a species that elusive? But you didn't talk about wanting that, you wanted a paycheck. You wanted a ring. WWIU said it.. it is the little things that count. My MM can buy me gifts, it is nice when he does. But what I LOVE is that he does all the little things that WWIU spoke of. After working a long hard day he pampers me. He runs me a bath, sits next to me while I bathe and washes my hair for me. Then gives me a foot rub until i fall asleep. Those are the things I will remember when I am old and grey. Not the gifts he has given me. If you are looking for love and thoughtfulness, then you are going about it the wrong way, by thinking that the measure of a man's worth is the measure of his wallet.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I'm not answering this one because it's offensive. List me 10 jobs you think are blue collared. And then tell me why those jobs don't have ambitious people with drive?
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It is not about money but about drive and ambition. Make up your mind. You want some of the "finer things" and you don't get those just walking into a store and saying..."I got drive and ambition, give me something." You do need money for that. And a blue collar worker can have drive and ambition too. They may be completely happy fitting those pipes. I have relatives who drive trucks, work for the railroad, the P.O. and in factories and most of them live very comfortably and put themselves or their children through college. My cousin the PhD is married to a guy who got his start with a summer job at FedEx in the early 80's. No paper saying he knows anything and he will never make what she does, but he does just fine and she loves him just he same. Get real with yourself if not for your sake, for your children. Nothing is worse than lying to one's self.
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 How can a blue collared guy be ambitious? My Blue collar guy earns six figures. Is that enough for you? Or does he need seven? Or eight? What is the magic number? And ambition isn't all about a paycheck. What is wrong with a man working a job he enjoys and feeling as though he really accomplished something at the end of the day. Is that also not ambition? The goal is just different, you equate ambition to mean striving for more money, others equate it to mean striving for happiness and fulfillment.
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 How can a blue collared guy be ambitious? Another reason you need to get to know yourself, because the 2 of you are going to be together alone for a long time.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Blue collared jobs aren't just for men. So I assume you feel this way about women and their blue collared jobs?
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 But you didn't talk about wanting that, you wanted a paycheck. You wanted a ring. WWIU said it.. it is the little things that count. My MM can buy me gifts, it is nice when he does. But what I LOVE is that he does all the little things that WWIU spoke of. After working a long hard day he pampers me. He runs me a bath, sits next to me while I bathe and washes my hair for me. Then gives me a foot rub until i fall asleep. Those are the things I will remember when I am old and grey. Not the gifts he has given me. If you are looking for love and thoughtfulness, then you are going about it the wrong way, by thinking that the measure of a man's worth is the measure of his wallet. So the next time someone on POF shows an interest in me, someone with whom I am absolutely incompatible, I should accept that person as a potential date?
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 My Blue collar guy earns six figures. Is that enough for you? Or does he need seven? Or eight? What is the magic number? And ambition isn't all about a paycheck. What is wrong with a man working a job he enjoys and feeling as though he really accomplished something at the end of the day. Is that also not ambition? The goal is just different, you equate ambition to mean striving for more money, others equate it to mean striving for happiness and fulfillment. And how long did it take him to get to that figure? Also, he is not your guy; he belongs to his wife. You are just like me...second best...no matter how you spin it.
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So the next time someone on POF shows an interest in me, someone with whom I am absolutely incompatible, I should accept that person as a potential date? NO, if you are not compatable in any way then of course not. But why limit yourself because of the career they are in. I promise you that if you met My MM when he was coming home from work, you would never imagine the kind of man he is. When he walks in my door from work he is covered in dirt and grime, his fingernails are broken and dirty, sometimes his skin is stained for days. he occasionally has a smell.. well, there is no nice way to put it.. of cat urine about him (It is a chemical that smells like that, it is not really urine) But he is warm, kind, compassionate, loving, thoughful, extremely intelligent, funny (omg he is funny), ambitious (though he won't take the promotion they want to give him, as he earns more NOT going salary).. he is all the things you say you want.. but you have closed your mind, and have convinced yourself that if they do not wear a suit and tie, they are not worth your time.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 NO, if you are not compatable in any way then of course not. But why limit yourself because of the career they are in. I promise you that if you met My MM when he was coming home from work, you would never imagine the kind of man he is. When he walks in my door from work he is covered in dirt and grime, his fingernails are broken and dirty, sometimes his skin is stained for days. he occasionally has a smell.. well, there is no nice way to put it.. of cat urine about him (It is a chemical that smells like that, it is not really urine) But he is warm, kind, compassionate, loving, thoughful, extremely intelligent, funny (omg he is funny), ambitious (though he won't take the promotion they want to give him, as he earns more NOT going salary).. he is all the things you say you want.. but you have closed your mind, and have convinced yourself that if they do not wear a suit and tie, they are not worth your time. If I recall, your MM is retired military. And I guess he is a bit older....?
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 And how long did it take him to get to that figure? Also, he is not your guy; he belongs to his wife. You are just like me...second best...no matter how you spin it. He retired from the military and started this new career about four or five years ago. And you can't hurt me with your dig... I know what he is and isn't, and I know the status of my relationship.. lol..good try
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 If I recall, your MM is retired military. And I guess he is a bit older....? early/mid 40's - I am 38... so not a big difference.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 He retired from the military and started this new career about four or five years ago. And you can't hurt me with your dig... I know what he is and isn't, and I know the status of my relationship.. lol..good try Ok..so he is pulling in retirement pay..and a salary..hence the decent salary Not all blue collared guys are alike I pointed out that you are no better than me because you come across like your MM is your husband. He isn't
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 He retired from the military and started this new career about four or five years ago. And you can't hurt me with your dig... I know what he is and isn't, and I know the status of my relationship.. lol..good try OT but why won't he leave?
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 FA......you are wasting your time with her. She is hell bent on justifying herself and what really matters to her in life, well it's pretty clear and it ain't love. Yeah, she works in the same way as the people over in my thread.. lol.. if you don't like the answers, skew the facts. If you don't like the question, respond with a question rather than an answer.. Good night BB07... I am tired. polk, If you want to know my story, read my thread.... You will just keep finding new reasons why you should measure a man by his wallet. it is a shame. Personally, I don't have an issue with you being with a MM, it is your reason for that particular MM that I find repulsive. You wouldn't be with him, if he earned less... that will lead you to nowhere but lonely. You will miss that great guy, cause he is wearing jeans and workboots... makes me sad for you.
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