Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 LMAO.. you think because My MM works a blue collar job that he is not as intelligent as yours?? But does he make the same amount of money as someone with a formal education?
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Doctors, lawyers, teachers,engineers and other educated men work hard too. What kind of education are you speaking of? The kind that you got a sheet of paper that says "you know what you know because you paid enough to get the paper" or those who know and others don't recognize it. I am formerly educated. I get that it is necessary for some occupations, but that doesn't discount or dismiss those who aren't. The founder of Wendy's restaurant chain didn't even finish HS.
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 But does he make the same amount of money as someone with a formal education? Now we've gotten to the meat of the matter.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 What kind of education are you speaking of? The kind that you got a sheet of paper that says "you know what you know because you paid enough to get the paper" or those who know and others don't recognize it. I am formerly educated. I get that it is necessary for some occupations, but that doesn't discount or dismiss those who aren't. The founder of Wendy's restaurant chain didn't even finish HS. I think that you mean "formally educated". All I am saying is that white collar guys tend to make better livings. When and if I do meet a man who can be 100% mine, I would prefer that he be in a position to present me with some of the nicer things that life has to offer. What is wrong with that?
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I think that you mean "formally educated". All I am saying is that white collar guys tend to make better livings. When and if I do meet a man who can be 100% mine, I would prefer that he be in a position to present me with some of the nicer things that life has to offer. What is wrong with that? :oYou are right. Two glasses of wine too many. There is nothing wrong with that, except, why can't you get them yourself since you are more than capable? Why look for a meal ticket or sugar daddy? All your other arguments flew out the window with this post. You are looking for a honey pot, not a companion, or a partner. That's why you are sticking with the ambitious intelligent scumbag and okay with it. No problem with that for you of course, but at least be like OWoman, Lizzie and some of the others....say what you mean and mean what you say.
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Now we've gotten to the meat of the matter. DING DING DING.. we have a winner... BENT gets the prize!!!! OP, Yes, My MM makes a very comfortable living. he provides well for his family, and provides well for me when I let him. Thing is, I am not with My MM because he can afford to buy me things, like I have said before, i would rather live in a cardboard house with a man I love, than in a mansion with one I don't. You my friend have your priorities so far out of whack that you will never be satisfied... Good Luck to you. And yes, he has been 'formally educated' although the work he does has absolutely nothing to do with the paper he earned. I on the other hand dropped out of high school with a 4.3 grade average, went back 11 years later and got my GED and am currently enrolling in a local community college. Am I ashamed of my education, or feel somehow beneath you with your degree, NOT A CHANCE. I still stand by the fact that I am very intelligent, and I don't need a document to prove it. I am every bit the woman you claim to be, except that I do not think my brain is made of diamonds and my p*ssy is gold plated... if you are as 'special' and 'better than' everyone else, as you try to make yourself out to be, then you should have every man falling at your feet, begging to be the one who wins you...so what's the problem?
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 :oYou are right. Two glasses of wine too many. There is nothing wrong with that, except, why can't you get them yourself since you are more than capable? Why look for a meal ticket or sugar daddy? All your other arguments flew out the window with this post. You are looking for a honey pot, not a companion, or a partner. That's why you are sticking with the ambitious intelligent scumbag and okay with it. No problem with that for you of course, but at least be like OWoman, Lizzie and some of the others....say what you mean and mean what you say. Now that's not true. I was dearly to have a partner who loves me. And, yes, I want a partner who is ambitious and wants for us to have a good life. There is nothing wrong with that. One of the many reasons I got out of my marriage was because the ex had absolutely zero ambition. I thought he would change. He did not. Lesson learned there. Never again.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Money and white collar... You are setting yourself up here, seems instead of getting to know a guy, what's inside (is he loving and giving, a nice person, big heart, goes out of his way for friends and family, an all around great guy) doesn't seem to count to you. If all you're interested in, is a man who is white collared and can provide you with a certain lifestyle, sorry, but that's shallow.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 :oYou are right. Two glasses of wine too many. There is nothing wrong with that, except, why can't you get them yourself since you are more than capable? . Going back to one of my earlier posts: The men in my peer group who exhibit these traits are a)married or b)want a younger woman with whom they can start a family
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Now that's not true. I was dearly to have a partner who loves me. And, yes, I want a partner who is ambitious and wants for us to have a good life. There is nothing wrong with that. One of the many reasons I got out of my marriage was because the ex had absolutely zero ambition. I thought he would change. He did not. Lesson learned there. Never again. Well if you are basing a good life on material things, you are in for a rude awakening. Now I see why you don't feel sorry for his wife. She is in line to enjoy the "good life" with this ambitious man you desire. If you can some how wiggle your way in there, you believe all that is potentially hers will be yours. Good luck with that.
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Money and white collar... You are setting yourself up here, seems instead of getting to know a guy, what's inside (is he loving and giving, a nice person, big heart, goes out of his way for friends and family, an all around great guy) doesn't seem to count to you. If all you're interested in, is a man who is white collared and can provide you with a certain lifestyle, sorry, but that's shallow. That is why she can't find the one she wants on POF or MATCH.. she should be on www.sugardaddie.com ...
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Going back to one of my earlier posts: The men in my peer group who exhibit these traits are a)married or b)want a younger woman with whom they can start a family So find a younger guy who likes older women. His working years will be longer and his earning potential greater. Hell he can even pay for your plastic surgery so you can keep him interested when gravity takes over and he can make sure you dress appropriately to make sure he doesn't stay with you out of pity and cheat on you with someone else.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Money and white collar... You are setting yourself up here, seems instead of getting to know a guy, what's inside (is he loving and giving, a nice person, big heart, goes out of his way for friends and family, an all around great guy) doesn't seem to count to you. If all you're interested in, is a man who is white collared and can provide you with a certain lifestyle, sorry, but that's shallow. So are you saying that a guy who works a white collar job and has the salary to go with it cannot be nice, have a big heart and so on?
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Not saying that at all. I'm just going on what you've said. Seems you've put MORE emphasis on the white collar and the money, what he can provide for you rather than the type of man he truly is, reguardless of his status and pay cheque.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Not saying that at all. I'm just going on what you've said. Seems you've put MORE emphasis on the white collar and the money, what he can provide for you rather than the type of man he truly is, reguardless of his status and pay cheque. It's only because I have not seen good things when the guy is uneducated/blue collar....
bittersweet memories Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I think that you mean "formally educated". All I am saying is that white collar guys tend to make better livings. When and if I do meet a man who can be 100% mine, I would prefer that he be in a position to present me with some of the nicer things that life has to offer. What is wrong with that? Sorry to say but... You thought 4 years alone was bad... I have a feeling you are going to be alone and VERY lonely for a very long time.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I second that nomination in bent getting the award! polksaladannie.....I feel bad for you. I don't think you came here to get advice or help, you came here to make yourself feel better and in your attempt you've showed us not too much that is impressive, IMO. I get the feeling that you are trying to make yourself a cut above, well you aren't. I did not come here for advice or help...I came here looking for kindred spirits who also had well meaning friends. Instead I got a bunch of unnecessary and unwanted lectures as to the evils of being with a MM and why I should settle for less.
doushenka Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 But does he make the same amount of money as someone with a formal education? My dad got a Master's in adult education. I did my A.A.S. in liberal arts. We made the same money at the call center -- ten an hour plus commission. Why? Because education is not worth what it once was. Graduate work used to be special. Now it's the default if you want to make more than $30,000 a year in quite a few fields. Even with a graduate degree, in this economy, my father has struggled to find work in his field, and a Ph.D. is beyond the family's expenses. What's he supposed to do about it? So I would guess that, all things considered, my father and a skilled laborer are probably capable of similar incomes, and I'd weigh it more in the skilled laborer's favor!
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Well, which comes first? Do you write these guys off as soon as you find out if they're blue collared? Or do you wait to get to know them as a person first. I am honestly just curious. My 2 cents - If you are only attracting 'certain' types of men, take a step back and ask yourself what type of energy you're putting out there. I dont' mean that meanly..It's just life gives you what you put out there.. If one is positive and happy, feels good and confident, chances are ALOT higher, that same positive energy is going to come around and enhance one's life to the fullest. If one is negative, and unhappy, chances are higher that is what is going to come their way, less confidence etc.. I have no idea where you live, or why there's a shortage of good guys who are single. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. Sometimes you can find the 'guy' in the weirdest places. And unexpectidly.. which is why YOU are going to miss the boat because of your attraction and affection for your MM.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Sorry to say but... You thought 4 years alone was bad... I have a feeling you are going to be alone and VERY lonely for a very long time. So what can I do differently so that I will not be lonely?
Fallen Angel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I did not come here for advice or help...I came here looking for kindred spirits who also had well meaning friends. Instead I got a bunch of unnecessary and unwanted lectures as to the evils of being with a MM and why I should settle for less. Kindred spirits? There are OW here desperately in love with their MM, who hope their MM divorce and marry them. There are OW here just in it for the sex, who have no desire for the MM to divorce. There are OW here who love to be lavished with "the finer things" by their MM, who love being OW with benefits, but whould never want their MM to divorce. You are the FIRST OW I have seen, who wants her MM to divorce, so she can have the wife's house. I am afraid you have not found a kindred spirit in me, and I am an OW.
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I did not come here for advice or help...I came here looking for kindred spirits who also had well meaning friends. Instead I got a bunch of unnecessary and unwanted lectures as to the evils of being with a MM and why I should settle for less. Actually the more you post, the more it is apparent you haven't settled at all. You just haven't attained that caretaker dude yet. Your criteria isn't isn't new or even unusual. It is after all the evolutionary theory. Female find a man with enough resources to take care of her and her offspring. Who gives a damn if he has any morals or integrity. As long as his collar is white and his pockets full. I get that. What's so sad about this, it speaks volumes of what you think of yourself and your ability to do those things for yourself and just be with someone you love because you do love them and they are a good person...even if the dug ditches for a living. Word of advice, our children are always watching our actions, whether we want them to or not.
Author polksaladannie Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Well, which comes first? Do you write these guys off as soon as you find out if they're blue collared? Or do you wait to get to know them as a person first. I am honestly just curious. I have no idea where you live, or why there's a shortage of good guys who are single. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. Sometimes you can find the 'guy' in the weirdest places. And unexpectidly.. which is why YOU are going to miss the boat because of your attraction and affection for your MM. Well on the dating sites...if he is blue colllar but is trying to better himself(college on the side for example, maybe an eye on getting into management) I would consider him. But if he is Joe Blue Collar whose profile is poorly written and/or full of spelling errors, sorry...I pass. As for where I live...I live in a small city where it's mostly families and 20somethings. Not a whole lot of single men in my peer group.
bentnotbroken Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So what can I do differently so that I will not be lonely? Grow as a woman and a person. That usually is a good place to start.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 So what can I do differently so that I will not be lonely? Spend time with good friends and family. Date and have fun. Know that you DO NOT NEED A MAN to complete you or make you not be lonely. I did not come here for advice or help...I came here looking for kindred spirits who also had well meaning friends. Instead I got a bunch of unnecessary and unwanted lectures as to the evils of being with a MM and why I should settle for less. It's unfortunate you feel this way because you got alot of heartfelt wonderful advice from some people, both OW and BS! You 'wellmeaning' friends are looking out for you, just like many on here are. Again, unfortunately you don't want to even consider anyone's advice, their thoughts, opinions because you're hellbent on 'settling'. And yes it IS settling to be in an affair, especially in your case since you're lonely.. You are settling to be this guy's side dish, see him on HIS time frame, his schedule. Think of this. He ends up in the hospital with a heart attack. WHO doe he call? WHO sits by his side, holding his hand? Helps him through this? If he dies all of a sudden, what do you have? His money? Are you named in his Will? Do you have any say in his medical treatments? NO. His wife does. Sorry, but that is second fiddle, even if you feel you aren't..The affair and being the OW IS secondary to his primary life with his wife and kids.
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