Well meaning friends

[bentnotbroken]

Close but not quite:

 

1. I don't mind being alone. But honestly, I am rarely alone. I have two children full time. I am active in my community. I work full time. I want companionship and support.

 

2. Yes, I do believe I have limited options due to age and parental status. I will never be ashamed of my children, but let's face it...not every guy wants someone with children.

 

 

Most women with children are never alone. I did mean the couple part of alone. I should have been more specific.

[polksaladannie]

Most women with children are never alone. I did mean the couple part of alone. I should have been more specific.

 

Ok. Well I like having my space but I also appreciate having a center...someone who cares..someone whom I can talk with

[awkward]

Sorry but I don't feel the need to date the pipefitted who recently messaged me on POF or the uneducated factory worker who liked me on Match. Again, nothing wrong with pipefitters or factory workers per se, but I am the type of woman who would not fit well into that world. I want more. What is wrong with that?

 

I'm not taking offense. But I am married to a pipefitter. We are both college educated. Although his was a two year program and mine was a five year program. But then again if you add in the five years of his apprenticeship he probably has me beat. His knowledge base of pipes and plumbing is well beyond my comprehension. He is gorgeous, romantic, great in bed, and loves me more than anything. And he is a great father.

 

I know a lot of couples with completely opposite careers. A lawyer married to a contractor, etc. I really never gave it much thought as to whether I'd fit in with a blue collar worker. But I did just fine. Maybe you are passing up a great guy and don't even realize it.

[polksaladannie]

I'm not taking offense. But I am married to a pipefitter. We are both college educated. Although his was a two year program and mine was a five year program. But then again if you add in the five years of his apprenticeship he probably has me beat. His knowledge base of pipes and plumbing is well beyond my comprehension. He is gorgeous, romantic, great in bed, and loves me more than anything. And he is a great father.

 

I know a lot of couples with completely opposite careers. A lawyer married to a contractor, etc. I really never gave it much thought as to whether I'd fit in with a blue collar worker. But I did just fine. Maybe you are passing up a great guy and don't even realize it.

But come on, awkward, don't you think your situation is the exception?

[fooled once]

The lifeboats statement says it all......sadly that is often the plight of the OW, is that they think the MM is the ship and they are they lifeboat and BTW I'm not coming down on anyone, because I've been there myself. The thing is that we as woman need to realize that we are our OWN LIFEBOAT and we are the captains. If we realized this, we'd be a lot healthier emotionally and wouldn't find ourselves on those sinking ships, like MM and abusive relationships. I know from my own personal experience that it's a very strong current that we have to swim in and we end up back at the place we started from sometimes but I'm getting closer to the other side, my hope is that you will also and all the other women here who feel like they are making someone else their lifeboats.

 

Remember ladies.......we are the captains of our own ships and if we need a lifeboat, we can't just grab on to any old one. It's got to be one that doesn't have any holes in it.

 

EXCELLENT Post BB!! Excellent!!

[jwi71]

Well I am not average looking. I am in the "attractive" category and prior to marriage attracted nice looking men. I am also ambitious and expect that from the men I date. Sorry but I don't feel the need to date the pipefitted who recently messaged me on POF or the uneducated factory worker who liked me on Match.

 

Wow. Just wow.

 

You don't feel the need to lower yourself to a pipefitter or uneducated facory worker. Well...no wonder you can't find any "good" men - none can breathe the thin air at the top of the pedestal you have placed yourself.

 

Again, nothing wrong with pipefitters or factory workers per se, but I am the type of woman who would not fit well into that world. I want more.

 

Yes there is...you have laid it all out on the table for all to see.

 

They aren't "good enough" for you.

 

At least I am taking a nice looking ambitious man.

 

And the truth comes out. This isn't about "no good men" at all.

 

Its about being jealous of his W.

Its about being angry.

Its so very sad you choose this.

 

Good luck...I'm out.

[polksaladannie]

Wow. Just wow.

 

You don't feel the need to lower yourself to a pipefitter or uneducated facory worker. Well...no wonder you can't find any "good" men - none can breathe the thin air at the top of the pedestal you have placed yourself.

 

 

 

Yes there is...you have laid it all out on the table for all to see.

 

They aren't "good enough" for you.

 

 

 

And the truth comes out. This isn't about "no good men" at all.

 

Its about being jealous of his W.

Its about being angry.

Its so very sad you choose this.

 

Good luck...I'm out.

 

But why should I settle for what I do not want? Seriously, because I am in my 30s and have kids, I should take whatever unattached scum that comes my way?

[polksaladannie]

Wow. Just wow.

 

You don't feel the need to lower yourself to a pipefitter or uneducated facory worker. Well...no wonder you can't find any "good" men - none can breathe the thin air at the top of the pedestal you have placed yourself.

 

 

 

Yes there is...you have laid it all out on the table for all to see.

 

They aren't "good enough" for you.

 

 

 

And the truth comes out. This isn't about "no good men" at all.

 

Its about being jealous of his W.

Its about being angry.

Its so very sad you choose this.

 

Good luck...I'm out.

 

I can think of 200 reasons I am not jealous of his wife.

[bentnotbroken]

But why should I settle for what I do not want? Seriously, because I am in my 30s and have kids, I should take whatever unattached scum that comes my way?

 

 

Nope. Take any married scum that comes your way instead. Seriously, you are coming off as if a person has to have a piece of paper with their pedigree documented or something. You are always going to attract what you send signals for. That is not to say we all aren't hit on by some one who isn't our type, but you have posted over and over again pretty disparaging remarks about different segments of the population without knowing anything other than a few stereotypes and generalizations. Woggle would love you.

[bittersweet memories]

I do not feel too sorry all of the time. I believe that you have to feed a marriage and, at times, fight for it.

 

Is that why you are single and divorce. Did you feed your marriage and fight for it? Just wondering...

[awkward]

But come on, awkward, don't you think your situation is the exception?

 

Of course not. Everyone can have happiness. You just have to be willing to find it. I have a friend who sadly lost her husband. She had young children. Now the children are older and she is dating. She tells me about POF and some of the creeps she meets. But she hasn't given up. She wants the real deal. Like the love she had with her husband. My advice to her was try other places than internet dating. Try the grocery store, church, a hobby, etc. I am looking forward to the day that she finds the right guy. In the meantime, she lives her life fully as a single woman.

 

If she settled for a MM, I'd be just like your well meaning friends.

[polksaladannie]

Is that why you are single and divorce. Did you feed your marriage and fight for it? Just wondering...

 

Actually, no, my former husband took to verbally abusing me.

[polksaladannie]

Of course not. Everyone can have happiness. You just have to be willing to find it. I have a friend who sadly lost her husband. She had young children. Now the children are older and she is dating. She tells me about POF and some of the creeps she meets. But she hasn't given up. She wants the real deal. Like the love she had with her husband. My advice to her was try other places than internet dating. Try the grocery store, church, a hobby, etc. I am looking forward to the day that she finds the right guy. In the meantime, she lives her life fully as a single woman.

 

If she settled for a MM, I'd be just like your well meaning friends.

 

Lol...yes...the grocery store..where my kids are acting up....or church...where I can go and watch all of the couples worship....and a hobby...what's that...lol???

[polksaladannie]

Nope. Take any married scum that comes your way instead. Seriously, you are coming off as if a person has to have a piece of paper with their pedigree documented or something. You are always going to attract what you send signals for. That is not to say we all aren't hit on by some one who isn't our type, but you have posted over and over again pretty disparaging remarks about different segments of the population without knowing anything other than a few stereotypes and generalizations. Woggle would love you.

 

I never said anything disparaging per se...just that I would not fit into that world nor would they fit into mine...It's not that I think I'm better...I'm different..as are they

[polksaladannie]

In the meantime, she lives her life fully as a single woman.

 

.

 

And how does she do that? Sincerely, I'd like some tips.

[bentnotbroken]

And how does she do that? Sincerely, I'd like some tips.

 

 

You do everything a couple would do. If you want to go on vacation, go. If you want to go to a club go. Skiing, shooting pool, bowling, theatre...whatever go. Go with the intent of having a good time in the moment. Look in the mirror and see who you really are and go from there.

 

I took a good long hard look at myself and saw a mid aged woman who still had a lot offer and a lot to discover. I set out to explore and discover the things I missed and the things I always wanted to try. I have had a blast enjoying the joy of living. Not existing, not doing my motherly duty, not doing my civic duty, but enjoying living everyday in a positive manner.

 

I have traveled more, eaten things that I never thought I would(and never will again:sick:). I love rock climbing, used to be afraid of heights. I love ballroom dancing, always thought it was for rich old folks with nothing to do. And I go out every special chance I can. I already have plans for Valentine's day without a date. I am fit, fine and fun:laugh:. As long as I project, those are the kinds of people I attract. And I loved the cruise last year. Next year, the Super Bowl.

[awkward]

And how does she do that? Sincerely, I'd like some tips.

 

I don't really know. I was amazed that after losing her husband (whom she loved dearly) that she was able to continue on and raise her children alone. She is awesome. I can give you tons of examples of friends or people that I know whom are single and not dating a MM. But then again, I know a couple of people that did date men who were in relationships, not necessarily married. It didn't work out good for them except one and that one came at a high price.

 

BTW - don't take your kids with you to the grocery store. Shop during the time you would normally spend with MM. I am assuming that you don't take your kids to visit MM. A hobby can be anything you like to do. Do you like to run? play chess? What do you like to do?

[polksaladannie]

 

 

I say give me a good honest hardworking man who works in the factory everyday and who knows what life is really all about over some executive who doesn't want to get his hands dirty any day and doesn't have a clue about anything other than his job and his toys. There are men who are real and know how to really love and then there are men who only love their things/toys.

 

.

 

Ahhh...but now you are stereotyping a whole group of people.....

[polksaladannie]

You do everything a couple would do. If you want to go on vacation, go. If you want to go to a club go. Skiing, shooting pool, bowling, theatre...whatever go. Go with the intent of having a good time in the moment. Look in the mirror and see who you really are and go from there.

 

I took a good long hard look at myself and saw a mid aged woman who still had a lot offer and a lot to discover. I set out to explore and discover the things I missed and the things I always wanted to try. I have had a blast enjoying the joy of living. Not existing, not doing my motherly duty, not doing my civic duty, but enjoying living everyday in a positive manner.

 

I have traveled more, eaten things that I never thought I would(and never will again:sick:). I love rock climbing, used to be afraid of heights. I love ballroom dancing, always thought it was for rich old folks with nothing to do. And I go out every special chance I can. I already have plans for Valentine's day without a date. I am fit, fine and fun:laugh:. As long as I project, those are the kinds of people I attract. And I loved the cruise last year. Next year, the Super Bowl.

 

But have you attracted any potential partners during all of this?

[bentnotbroken]

But have you attracted any potential partners during all of this?

 

 

I guess if I were looking for a partner the answer would be yes I have. All good men are potential partners.

[polksaladannie]

I guess if I were looking for a partner the answer would be yes I have. All good men are potential partners.

 

 

Well since you are not looking for a partner and appear to be happy on your own, then who are you to give me advice?

[Fallen Angel]

I suppose your version of unattached scum is anyone who doesn't meet up to your standards of what someone should be in your eyes, which includes the pipefitter, the factory worker, etc. These type of people are beneath you.

 

polksaladannie you seem to have some issues that go beyond dating a married man. I feel sorry for you because you seem to be one of those ladies who can't see beyond what your perception is of people just because of what they do for a living.

I say give me a good honest hardworking man who works in the factory everyday and who knows what life is really all about over some executive who doesn't want to get his hands dirty any day and doesn't have a clue about anything other than his job and his toys. There are men who are real and know how to really love and then there are men who only love their things/toys.

 

In order to find those real men, you've got to be able to look beyond your limited perception of them and see inside of them and look for the things that really matter in life.

 

I happen to agree with you here.. YUMMY..

 

My MM was a Marine for 22 years and now works a hard days work, he loves working, the sense at the end of the day that he really did something, ya know? And I LOVE his rough hands, and his dirty face when he walks in my door... he always acts like he doesn't want me to hug and kiss him when he is dirty and sweaty, but he loves it when he walks in the door and is greeted with a tight hug and a deep kiss, knowing that I respect the fact that he works so hard.

 

Besides, who wants a man with manicured finger nails who would call triple A to change a flat? I want a real man!!!

 

OP, if you think a hard working man is beneath you, then you can send them to me. I have had what you are looking for once, I threw his prissy, self-important behind back.. there are much better catches...

[polksaladannie]

I happen to agree with you here.. YUMMY..

 

My MM was a Marine for 22 years and now works a hard days work, he loves working, the sense at the end of the day that he really did something, ya know? And I LOVE his rough hands, and his dirty face when he walks in my door... he always acts like he doesn't want me to hug and kiss him when he is dirty and sweaty, but he loves it when he walks in the door and is greeted with a tight hug and a deep kiss, knowing that I respect the fact that he works so hard.

 

Besides, who wants a man with manicured finger nails who would call triple A to change a flat? I want a real man!!!

 

OP, if you think a hard working man is beneath you, then you can send them to me. I have had what you are looking for once, I threw his prissy, self-important behind back.. there are much better catches...

 

Doctors, lawyers, teachers,engineers and other educated men work hard too.

[Fallen Angel]

Doctors, lawyers, teachers,engineers and other educated men work hard too.

 

LMAO.. you think because My MM works a blue collar job that he is not as intelligent as yours?? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO are you kidding me??

 

Though I am sure that you are convinced i am pretty close to being an idiot myself. I mean, I am a cashier in a retail chain store afterall.

 

But, I would be willing to pit My MM's intellect against yours any day of the week.. I call him the "King of Useless Information", not because he only knows useless things, but because he knows everything about everything.. and so much of it is facts, figures and info that no average person would ever need to know.. lol

 

I would also be willing to pit myself against you.. I would be willing to bet you wouldn't outscore me on any IQ test you could find, despite the fact that my typing skills are a bit unorthadox.

[polksaladannie]

LMAO.. you think because My MM works a blue collar job that he is not as intelligent as yours?? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO are you kidding me??

 

Though I am sure that you are convinced i am pretty close to being an idiot myself. I mean, I am a cashier in a retail chain store afterall.

 

But, I would be willing to pit My MM's intellect against yours any day of the week.. I call him the "King of Useless Information", not because he only knows useless things, but because he knows everything about everything.. and so much of it is facts, figures and info that no average person would ever need to know.. lol

 

I would also be willing to pit myself against you.. I would be willing to bet you wouldn't outscore me on any IQ test you could find, despite the fact that my typing skills are a bit unorthadox.

 

 

Well is your MM educated in the sense that he has a degree?