patman1 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Ok. To keep a long story short, here's the deal. I've been with my wife for 4 years and we have one daughter. Just recently, I caught her having an emotional affair with a guy over the internet. I confronted her and she basically tells me that she's not happy and she wants out. I asked her if we could go to marriage counseling because to me, this was coming out of nowhere. I had no idea she wasn't happy because she never came up to me to tell me if there were any problems. She told me that she wasn't in love with me anymore and that she didn't feel guilty because she felt like I never loved her. Well, if I didn't love her, why am I fighting so hard to keep her to stay and telling her I'd do anything to make our marriage work out. But she says that being with that other guy makes her realize that she was missing something in our marriage and she wants out. This breaks my heart so bad but when she was about to leave and take our daughter, I told her to stay at the house and I'd leave. So, I am over here at a hotel room for now torn to pieces. I think I am more upset because she didn't have an ounce of guilt and she didn't even once apologized. I was the one was betrayed and I was the one apologizing for something I had no idea I was doing wrong. If she would've confronted me, I would've done something to make it right. I love this woman and I work hard for our family.
dead-dyke Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I can't believe no one has responded yet. First piece of advice? Don't leave the house. She wants out, let her leave. Her choice. Right now she has rewritten your history in her head, and you won't be able to change her mind! She will need to learn the error of her ways herself. I'm not the best to give advice, but this is your first step. Others should be along to really offer help. To get better advice, move this post to the separation and divorce. It's not what you want to do, but that's where the people that can talk the most sense will be. I wish you luck.
sweetbaby23 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 if someone doesnt want to be with you and everything you have to offer. let them go. its thier loss. u want someone who loves you for who you are. and who actually wants to be with u. you deserve better
norajane Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 She's ending her marriage because of some guy on the internet she's never even met? Move back home. There's no reason you should be in a hotel while she is in the house. Go speak to a lawyer. I know it's not what you want to do, but you need to find out what your rights are here. Perhaps you can file for custody and keep your daughter. Your wife may wake up and realize she's deluded, but if she doesn't, you need to protect yourself legally and financially and set yourself up for primary custody or joint custody with your daughter. You also need to understand what your rights are with the house. Leaving the house and your daughter may be construed as abandonment in some states, so go talk to that lawyer.
threebyfate Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 She's ending her marriage because of some guy on the internet she's never even met? Move back home. There's no reason you should be in a hotel while she is in the house. Go speak to a lawyer. I know it's not what you want to do, but you need to find out what your rights are here. Perhaps you can file for custody and keep your daughter. Your wife may wake up and realize she's deluded, but if she doesn't, you need to protect yourself legally and financially and set yourself up for primary custody or joint custody with your daughter. You also need to understand what your rights are with the house. Leaving the house and your daughter may be construed as abandonment in some states, so go talk to that lawyer.Excellent advice! Move back in today.
Author patman1 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I only left her the house in meanwhile because she was trying to tak our daughter and I didn't want her taking her to some place I didn't feel comfortable for her to be at. I tried telling my wife if she wanted to leave, she couldn't take our daughter but she started to argue about it and I didn't want to do that with our daughter being there. Anyways, I go up there every now and then to check up on them and apparently, it's going okay. Once my daughter is in school, that's when my wife and I agree to how we were going to handle this separation.
threebyfate Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I only left her the house in meanwhile because she was trying to tak our daughter and I didn't want her taking her to some place I didn't feel comfortable for her to be at. I tried telling my wife if she wanted to leave, she couldn't take our daughter but she started to argue about it and I didn't want to do that with our daughter being there. Anyways, I go up there every now and then to check up on them and apparently, it's going okay. Once my daughter is in school, that's when my wife and I agree to how we were going to handle this separation.Don't be dumb. Move back in today. If she takes your daughter, it's just one more action on her part, that she has no legal right to take. Discuss this with your legal counsel, which you should be getting ASAP, if you don't already have one.
norajane Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Don't be dumb. Move back in today. If she takes your daughter, it's just one more action on her part, that she has no legal right to take. Discuss this with your legal counsel, which you should be getting ASAP, if you don't already have one. Agreed. And you really might want to repost this the Infidelity forum or the Separation and Divorce forum. Second Chances makes it seem like a bf/gf thing and you may not get people reading who have been through exactly what you are going through.
dead-dyke Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Agreed. And you really might want to repost this the Infidelity forum or the Separation and Divorce forum. Second Chances makes it seem like a bf/gf thing and you may not get people reading who have been through exactly what you are going through. That's what I'm talkin' bout!
ralph1319 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 my wife wanted out after 16 years of marriage. 1st off dont let her have everything your house your daughter. trust me you will hate yourself for doing it.i made the worse mistake of my life and left my kids with her and gave her everything. even though my kids wanted to live with me i didnt want them to be without there mom.All i wanted to do was make my ex happy i didnt think what my kids would want.Now all i have is a room nothing else i see my girls everyday but not living with them hurts everyday and if your wife cared how you felt she would work something out with you as far as the living situation. think of yourself now whats best for you and your daughter dont think of whats best for your wife.in her mind right now you really dont matter shes in LALA land with her new guy saying the right things at the right time.So keep your head up and think of you.not her.. good luck..
Author patman1 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I hear you guys. I'm not going to let her have it all especially if she's the one leaving me. Anyways, I asked my sister to take my daughter and I'm heading over to the house right now to have that conversation with my wife. I just didn't want to argue in front of my daughter because that is something I promised myself I would never do.
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