LondonS Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 OK this is one of my friends status on FB as we speak, so I though lets have this discussion.. How desperate can one be before they start extensive online dating??
Tony T Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 You don't have to be desperate at all. You can be curious, bored, shy, craving entertainment, wanting to try something else, etc. Desperation seldom enters into it, in my opinion. There are way too many potentials out there live, in person, to be desperate.
yeex Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Not desperate at all. Just trying to spread the net. When you are in your thirties and work full time, meeting new people can be hard. I do try and meet people in real life, but when that goes slow having the online option is a good supplement. Especially with free dating sites, I think it is becoming more and more common to have a profile up if you are single. Why not?
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 In my opinion you need to be very desparate indeed People that have success with online dating are of the type "I need a partner badly, almost anyone will do". I blame online dating for creating a new breed of sexless marriages.
aerogurl87 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I tried online dating and I'm not desperate, in fact I'm quite the opposite. If I were desperate I'd settle for one of those horndogs that seem to be so prevalent in the club and bar scene. But since I'm not looking for a one night stand of FWB type situation, I figured why not be upfront and go for what I want. Plus online dating can turn your dating pond into an ocean, which means better chances at finding someone you really want.
Satisfaction Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 You don't need to be desperate. What you do need though is to recognise that you are not meeting enough people and you would like to meet more. Also i think online you can be really specific about what you want and therefore, you can comprise less. If you do that then you can figure out what that unexplained dullness you feel after you have been with someone a while.
alphamale Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 How desperate can one be before they start extensive online dating?? i think they have to be pretty desperate
Pizzaman81 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 OK this is one of my friends status on FB as we speak, so I though lets have this discussion.. How desperate can one be before they start extensive online dating?? It's kind of like how desperate do you have to be to go to bars, get drunk and try to find girls. Online is just another venue my friend, welcome to the Internets.
Author LondonS Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I personally think its a rather desperate measure one must resort to but I can see fairly mixed views !!
confuzed25 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 i bet those people that say you have to be desperate are the type of people that go to bars and try to meet people. "Maybe if I get em drunk they'll come home with me." Now THATS desperate. I am on a dating site and I'm not desperate at all. You can see what the person looks like, find out what their interests are, and get somewhat of an idea if they would be compatible with you or not. This is 2010 people...online dating is just a new way of meeting people.
alphamale Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I am on a dating site and I'm not desperate at all. You can see what the person looks like, find out what their interests are, and get somewhat of an idea if they would be compatible with you or not. This is 2010 people...online dating is just a new way of meeting people. you cannot tell anything about someone from their online profile
and.then.some Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 While I've never tried it, I don't believe a person necessarily has to be "desperate" in order to do such a thing. It could be that time constraints or the difficulty of dating in their area makes on-line dating an appealing option. I can see how reading a profile might make the dating process seem a lot easier, assuming you can believe what you read. I don't know what these profiles look like, but I would imagine they give you all of the basics and some history before going in. I imagine you would know if the person has been married, has children, or what the person is really looking for before date one, without seeming pushy or intrusive. (Again, assuming you trust the profile.) People have their reasons, so I don't think it's fair to imply that they're all desperate. Why can't they simply be "serious about finding the right relationship"? However, I guess I see how someone being that serious about finding someone can be taken as "desperate". Or, maybe that person just has more courage to be honest about what he/she wants than the rest of us? Aside from the various fears about on-line dating, and my belief that people can be just as dishonest in print as they are in person, etc... I would feel that some dating site profile would be like a formal and public declaration of a desire or interest. When you're trying to sell an old TV, you post an ad online, because you really want it sold as quickly and efficiently as possible. That doesn't mean you're desperate for the money, but that you're apparently very serious about getting rid of the TV for a profit. You could tell all your friends you have a TV for sale and to spread the word, but posting online gets the job done faster. LOL, and I guess that's sort of how I see online dating and personal ads, etc... like the yard sale sign on the stop light.
confuzed25 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 ummmm not true alpha...everything in my profile is 100% true and the guys i have met in person have fit their online profile for the most part. i have found though that they sometimes look different than their pictures and you cant really tell maturity level through an online profile.
dreamergrl Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 The guy I am seeing matches everything he was in his profile. We click very well. I'm honest in my profile. Grant it there's going to be scumbags and crappy people on there, but that's every where you go. Bad relationships can form from any type of meeting preference. Sexless marriages? Come on, this is a problem that started before online dating was a big thing.
kiss_andmakeup Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I don't think you have to be desperate at all...now I'm not sure what you mean by "extensive"...maybe having a profile up on every single site is a bit much. I was on a free dating site (okcupid) for a few months a year and a half ago. I was the exact opposite of desperate...I was 20, attractive, newly single, and excited about exploring my options. I met my current boyfriend on that site actually. People that have success with online dating are of the type "I need a partner badly, almost anyone will do". I blame online dating for creating a new breed of sexless marriages. SadAndConfused, this is a very generalized and tactless statement. I'm in a relationship resulting from a dating website, and we have plenty of sex. Sure, online dating's not for everyone, but making such a discriminating blanket statement about a group of people is pretty ignorant.
Slainte Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My view is very desperate, though its probably not a modern view of the current online dating situation. I myself am a long-term single but refuse to use the internet for dating purposes. If you're resorting to online dating, you've probably failed several times at real-life dating and or interaction with your chosen sex.
HappyAgain Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 We each have our own experiences but my ex was DESPERATE! How else do you explain: 1. a man getting involved with a woman who was about to become homeless in 2 weeks, 2. this woman never held a full-time job and had no means to support herself, 3. this woman was posting nudes of herself all over the Internet looking for a sucker to take care of her, 4. this woman met you at her door with her legs spread wide open with a camera on your first date, 5. this woman was still seeing other men after she slept with you on that first date, 6. this woman was calling you "special" after one date, 7. this woman agreed with EVERYTHING you said, 8. this woman liked everyone of your hobbies, 9. this woman threatens you that she'll start looking elsewhere if you don't jump at her command. And he still paid for her to move a 1,000km to his city, hooked her up with his wife's therapist, introduced her as his wife and her daughter as his stepdaughter after knowing her for TWO weeks! If ignoring all those red flags doesn't smack of desperation I don't know what does. He was so proud of his achievement! All in all he gave me a good laugh with his sad pathetic life.
trenino Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 i dont think you have to be desperate to go online. However, I am quite skeptical about the idea of Internet dating, since my personal experience with it is not good at all. If you looked at one of my recent post/thread , you will know what i meant. The guy i recently met was a major f*ck up case. From some guys i met online only 2 are decent and can be considered to be to be friends (not even boy friend). The reality is people can write anything they want and act differently plus when you date online, bare in mind, that person also see other people . They may not have intention to be serious at all. You need to really search and find out the true of that persons. Meeting someone through common friends is always a better way if you have that option.
Payden Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 IMO you shouldn't be at all desperate either in real life dating or online dating, because it makes you want to fall for just anyone to take up that blank space. IMO and this opinion has been grounded into my brain by people here on LS as well as other forums, to be happy being yourself alone first then fall for your dream S.O. Being desperate is not good when it comes to dating..take a breath and be content without "another". It's what I'm doing and I feel happier, but not where I should be.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I've tried it and I'm not desperate at all. The quality of people online varies from low to high just as it does in a club, at a party, at work, etc. I chose to do it because I don't like the bar scene and men tend to not approach me in bars. They stare so I think they're interested but don't have the courage I suppose to do anything about it. Some very fine people utilize online dating for a variety of reasons such as they live in rural areas that don't provide places to meet singles or local places only cater to certain groups - country western fans. Others choose online dating because their lifestyles don't afford much time for meeting singles of the opposite sex. There are all kinds of reasons and it is smallminded to suggest every person on a dating site is "desperate." I've met wealthy individuals, very talented individuals, former pro-athletes, teachers, writers, etc. People can lie to your face just as easy as they can in a dating profile. At least with a profile, you have it in writing and they can't deny it when caught. lol
torranceshipman Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 People are so odd - online dating is just one method of meeting people, along with matchmaking via friends, meeting in a coffee shop, meeting in a bar or club, meeting at work, etc. It is just a form of social interaction: nothing more, nothing less. You might meet losers, or a great guy/girl, and that is exactly the same deal you'll get via meeting in 'real life' first. I think people have become like sheep, and like to say that online dating is for desparate people, etc, because socially thats the cool thing to say.
Chicago_Guy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My view is very desperate, though its probably not a modern view of the current online dating situation. I myself am a long-term single but refuse to use the internet for dating purposes. If you're resorting to online dating, you've probably failed several times at real-life dating and or interaction with your chosen sex. I have to agree with you. There are some very desperate people who do the on-line thing. Although I suppose that for older people who don't have any single friends, they may feel as though they have no other means for meeting anyone.
MarieMarie Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 My vote is that you don't have to be desperate at all. Almost everyone I know who is single and in their 20s or 30s has at least tried it at some point. I'm in a relationship, but it seems like a great way to meet people and screen for traits that are important to you (whether that's looks, education, interests, etc.) Sure, people can lie online (just like they can lie in bars and clubs!), but it's really just another outlet for meeting people.
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