jenman Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 My gf has always been a flirt. She is always looking at other guys and them her. She dresses very provocatively all the time. She lays out in her yard nude, and works around the yard with little on. She loves to do it outside or inside with the drapes open. She tells me about her sex dreams concerning guys she knows. The last one was about her seducing a co-worker. When we go dancing she gets alot of attention by her suggestive dance, and has many offers to dance with her which I don't object. All of this is very exciting to me, but I wonder if it is just to excite me, or is she doing more than I know on the side? When asked she always says it's just the way I am, and she said she doesn't have the time to be with another guy. She belongs to two gyms (not with me) and her workout clothes really show off her body. Is she cheating or just trying to excite me?
norajane Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Is she cheating or just trying to excite me? Neither. She's not doing it for you, and she's not doing it to find another guy. My gf has always been a flirt. she always says it's just the way I am, She's an uninhibited, sexually open woman. She was like this before she met you, and she'll be like this all the time. Either you accept or appreciate that about her, or move on because she isn't going to change. You must have noticed this about her before you were dating, yes?
Space Ritual Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Exactly what Norajane says. You have already said you find it exciting. But you certainly can't expect her to just stop. Some tend to think that their S.O. or spouse will stop for them once they are together, but it does not work that way. You have to decide for yourself if this is something you are able to handle. I submit that if you already think at this point she may be cheating, that your relationship has probably run its course.
You'reasian Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Exactly what Norajane says. You have already said you find it exciting. But you certainly can't expect her to just stop. Some tend to think that their S.O. or spouse will stop for them once they are together, but it does not work that way. . It depends. If the two have similar energy levels and sex drives it can, but some people need more no matter what.
BUENG1 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 My gf has always been a flirt. She is always looking at other guys and them her. She dresses very provocatively all the time. She lays out in her yard nude, and works around the yard with little on. She loves to do it outside or inside with the drapes open. She tells me about her sex dreams concerning guys she knows. The last one was about her seducing a co-worker. When we go dancing she gets alot of attention by her suggestive dance, and has many offers to dance with her which I don't object. All of this is very exciting to me, but I wonder if it is just to excite me, or is she doing more than I know on the side? When asked she always says it's just the way I am, and she said she doesn't have the time to be with another guy. She belongs to two gyms (not with me) and her workout clothes really show off her body. Is she cheating or just trying to excite me? I partially agree with the first two posts. She is certainly fishing for attention for other guys and it definitely isn't for your benefit. How can dressing provocatively to the go the gym when you are not present be construed to be for your benefit? It's for her benefit, attention from others boosts the ego. This extraordinary need for attention(imo) is a negative quality to be found in a SO. I wouldn't say that behavior constitutes cheating, but that definition varies. You haven't give any other information to suggest she's cheating.
seibert253 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 You GF is an attention wh#re. The issue at hand is: 1. Can you live with this 2. Will she remain true and committed to ONLY you when she gets all this attention. Personally I feel she's got MAJOR insecurity issues, and frankly I wouldn't trust her. Plus I would feel disrespected if she acts like this in front of me. It obviously bothers you, or you would not be here asking us about it. If you have problems with her behaivor, then tell her. If she loves you she will curtail these activities. If she does not, well then she's more interested in herself.
jnd2009 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I can be like that, to an extent. Overall I like the attention of people looking at me (and the occasional showing it off), but I love the fact that I'm taken and they can't have me- they can look at my bf and I happy together, and be jealous they can't have me (if that's how they feel lol).
Bryanp Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Look what she said to you: She claims that she does not have the time to cheat on you. This means by logical extension that she would have not have any problem cheating on you if she had the time. I think you are crazy to be with someone like this but it is your life.
Nos Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I'd look at this from a few angles: How long have the two of you been together? If it's been less than 3 months, you may be a stand-in until she finds her next exciting piece of flesh. If you guys have been together for a while now, she obviously enjoys the attention. And that's not to say that she desires other people, maybe it boosts her self confidence for people to find her hot. If you have intentions of making this work, it will be a matter of how much you're willing to be comfortable with. If you care for this girl, accept her. If you feel like this is all some type of game, dump her and find someone who is worth your time.
make me believe Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I wonder why she needs so much attention & validation from other guys. Frankly, it would bother me if my boyfriend needed to know that other women want him in order to feel good about himself. You said she's always been like this, so you knew how she was before you started dating her, and it's unfair of you to expect her to change now. You just need to figure out if you can put up with this kind of immature attention-whore behavior or not.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Perhaps she is a bit of a somatic narcissist. If she is one (and it certainly sounds like it), and she was cheating it would be purely to reassure herself that she is desired. If she feels it without having to cheat (and it sounds like she gets plenty of attention without having to resort to cheating), then she probably won't.
torranceshipman Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Hmmm...I have a different take from other posters. Souds likethe OP is in some way getting off on knowing other men can see her/the idea of her with other men, in some way. OP, is that correct? If so, I think she might be doing a lot of this to turn you on, because she knows you like it. I might have gotten the wrong idea here but OP you do sound quite into it and if she's into you she's probably trying to please you.
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